December 2022
Greetings!
"Christmas is coming," laments Ellen Stuart, "and I have got to think up presents for everybody . . . Dear me, it's so tedious!" Ellen is a character in Harriet Beecher Stowe's 1850 "Christmas." The book concludes, "there are worlds of money wasted, at this time of the year, in getting things that nobody wants, and nobody cares for after they are got."
After two centuries of Christmas commercialization, it seems pointless to resist. And why should we? All sorts of studies, from social psychology to functional neuroimaging, present solid evidence for the benefits of giving gifts. Understanding how to be a better gift giver can take the pressure off finding a perfect gift and help us get the most out of the gift-giving tradition.
To make your holiday gift-giving more fun and meaningful, consider this advice from social scientists:
- Consider the recipient's preferences instead of giving gifts you would like to receive.
- Give the ultimate gift, the gift of time.
- The surprise element in gift-giving is overrated.
- Lean towards gifting experiences (even though a concert ticket is just a piece of paper with a QR code on it and is no fun to unwrap.)
- Picking a gift from a wishlist may seem joyless and unimaginative from the giver's perspective, but recipients see such gifts as thoughtful.
- Surprisingly, a sloppily wrapped present from a friend may be more appreciated than something more Instagrammable; the reason seems to be that scruffiness lowers expectations; if the gift appears to have put up a fight while being wrapped, the contents are more likely to be a pleasant surprise.
- Four (male) researchers advise men not to give conspicuously luxurious gifts to women too early in a relationship; it seems that women do not always appreciate men's efforts to make them feel a sense of obligation.
- One of the mistakes gift-givers tend to make is to focus too much on the moment the gift is unwrapped, while for recipients, that moment is merely the start of the gift's story.
- The most obvious type of bad gift is the "novelty" -- these gifts are all sizzle and no steak. They elicit an immediate laugh or howl of recognition but rarely have a lasting value.
If you embrace any of these ideas – or have some of your own – please share your experience with me and others. Let's make this holiday season meaningful as well as joyous and fun.
I wish you the happiest of holidays.
