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I shared a couple weeks ago the current thinking around making faith "sticky" for our kids, four touchpoints that make the faith we share with them connect on a deeper level and stick with them them for their whole life:
- a regular Sunday routine
- summer church camp
- a transformative journey
- campus ministry
I'm going to expand on each of these in this and upcoming newsletters, sharing my thoughts about what they could mean in general and for us at St. Tim's.
A Regular Sunday Routine
You may notice that that phrasing doesn't directly include something like Sunday School. It certainly could if that's what your spiritual community did on Sundays, but the vibe here is a routine that the family regularly participates in. This could include always having chocolate chip waffles on Sunday before heading off to 8am church and then hiking in a local park. This could include sleeping in and then going to the 11am service and then going to lunch with Jenny Cook every week. This could include calling your mom and then packing up the kids to come to 9:15am and then sticking around for Kids and Their People (soon to be at least twice a month, maybe more!) before brunch. The key is that the routine is...routine. That is, “Whatever you do repeatedly has the power to shape you, has the power to make you over into a different person—even if you’re not totally ‘engaged’ in every minute,” as Paul Bosch writes.
The things we do regularly shape us. So what are you doing regularly? And how are those things shaping you? And your kids?
You might notice, when you consider those questions, that there are lots of things that shape you well, shape your kids for compassion and curiosity and resilience--how wonderful! You might also notice that there are lots of things that shape you and your kids for isolation or hurt or simply not paying attention to things beyond ourselves. How are we being shaped? We can change that direction by doing other things regularly. Like having a regular, communal, spiritual connection on Sundays.
You may also notice I used the word communal there--the routine isn't just about you, it's about being part of something bigger. We were made for relationship, we humans, not isolation, not selfishness. We always do better when we are part of community. And our kids will care more about the world around them and about their faith when they're part of a community beyond their own families--intergenerational friendships are beautiful and necessary, knowing people who have different experiences is pivotal, and just knowing, as Roger says so often, that when they show up to this community that they are loved, this is key.
This week, I invite you to consider for yourselves as parents what your regular routines are--specifically on Sundays, but also during the week. How are they shaping you and your kids? What could you do differently? Consider having a conversation with your kids about this question--what do we as a family do regularly? What is our Sunday routine, do you think?
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So how to share the faith we have, how to help our kids navigate a dangerous world with compassion? I'm going to muse about these things in the coming weeks here, but if you ever want to just come chat or go have a bourbon and rant about it, please message me! As Cole Arthur Riley writes, "Together we won't get lost in despair."
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