Saint Augustine and His Mother, Saint Monica by Ary Scheffer, 1854

Dear Friends,

It was such a pleasure to greet many of you at our Annual Courage and EnCourage Conference last month at the University of Saint Mary of the Lake. I also know that some of you were able to join us for the conference talks and Masses over the internet. I hope you will agree with me that our speakers this year were particularly outstanding! Each approached a different part of the goal we share in Courage and EnCourage; namely, to develop a life of prayer and dedication through Christ-like service, a deep devotional life, and a love for the sacraments. Our expert video production team is working on editing the recorded talks now and getting them ready for posting on our website. They will be available for all of our members and friends to watch and share in just a few weeks.

One of the reasons that we decided to focus this year on the Goal that Courage and EnCourage have in common was to mark a milestone for our EnCourage community. When the word first got out about the founding of Courage in 1980, it wasn't long before parents whose sons and daughters experienced same-sex attraction reached out to Father Harvey for advice and support. In many cases, their loved ones had drifted away from the practice of the Faith, and most of them identified as gay or lesbian. These parents wanted to know how they could keep their own faith and moral convictions strong without alienating their sons and daughters. At first, Father Harvey talked with them individually, but soon he looked for ways to connect these parents with one another. He started organizing periodic meetings of this group, and at the 1992 annual conference — 30 years ago — the name "EnCourage" was adopted.

The EnCourage part of our apostolate continues to grow. In recent years, with the consent of our Board of Directors and our Episcopal Board, several EnCourage groups have begun to welcome parents whose sons and daughters experience gender identity discordance. Although the experience of their loved ones is rather different from that of Courage members, these parents' experiences share many similarities and they have benefited from the support of EnCourage chapters. We have also initiated monthly online EnCourage meetings specifically for spouses of people who experience same-sex attractions, and for siblings, especially those who are seeking guidance on how to include an uncle or aunt who identifies as gay in the lives of their young children. I am hopeful that these new approaches to EnCourage ministry will enrich the life of the whole apostolate. If you or someone you know would benefit from any of these initiatives, please contact the Courage Office.

In the last few days, the Church has celebrated the memorials of Saint Monica and Saint Augustine (August 27 and 28). These mother-and-son saints are the patrons of the EnCourage apostolate, and their portrait hangs in the Courage Office chapel, where we pray for our Courage and EnCourage members and chaplains each day. Praising God for the gift of his conversion to Christianity, Augustine said of Monica, "You stretched forth Your hand from above and drew up my soul out of that profound darkness because my mother, your faithful one, wept to you on my behalf" (Confessions III.xi.19). Our patron saints know the profound emotions that fill the heart of every parent who prays for the conversion of a son or daughter, and they intercede on behalf of every EnCourage member. They are also a model for us of the closeness and support that we find in our chapters, that makes it possible for us to rejoice together, mourn together, grow together, and especially to pursue holiness together. The ultimate Goal of every Courage and EnCourage member is to be able, one day, to share the life of Heaven with Saint Monica, Saint Augustine, and all our heavenly patrons.

Be sure of my continued prayers for you and your families, and please pray fervently for Courage and EnCourage.

As Father Bochanski described in his message above, this year's conference speakers provided rich presentations on the various dimensions of our spiritual lives. The plenary sessions and homilies were recorded and will be uploaded soon to the Conference Presentations section on our website, under the Resources tab. We'll be sure to let you know when they are available.

Over one hundred people registered to participate in the conference virtually. They appreciated how we shared the resources recommended by some of our speakers via the Zoom chat feature and asked if we could compile these resources for them. So we thought we'd share them with all of you.

After the conference, Kathryn Jean Lopez sent a message for our members, sharing a reflection from Saint John Vianney from the Office of Readings on "The Glorious duty of man: to pray and to love."

During June, when much of the culture was celebrating "Pride Month," the Diocese of Arlington, Virginia, published a terrific story about Courage in their diocese. They interviewed chaplains and members, both of whom spoke of the blessing Courage has been in their lives. The story was picked up by the Catholic News Service and then published in multiple national Catholic outlets (here and here) as well as in several diocesan publications across the country (here, here, and here), further spreading the good news about our apostolate.

[Courage member Garrett] Johnson said the church and fellow Catholics can provide support by upholding church teaching. “Tell the truth, but help us carry the burden,” he said. “The best way (Catholics) can be helpful is, be honest with us and walk with us,” he said.

To [Courage chaplain, Fr. Richard] Dyer, the Courage members are an inspiration. “Members heroically live chaste lives,” he said. “(Courage has) been one of the great blessings of my priesthood.”

Read about Courage in the Arlington Catholic Herald

In the coming months, we will be introducing a new application, Slack, for our English-speaking members to stay connected with one another. This application will replace our present online forum. We are working hard to ensure a smooth transition and will provide guidance as the conversion begins. We held a session about Slack at the conference, and we thought you might like to see the slides that were shared with attendees. Feel free to utilize the resources mentioned in the slides to prepare yourself for the upcoming transition. 

 

At the conference, we enjoyed an engaging presentation about forgiveness from Dr. Timothy Lock. In our last newsletter, we gave you the wrong link for an interview with him about the book he recently coauthored, Choosing Forgiveness: Unleashing the Power of God’s Grace.

Here are some resources to help you in your search for a good spiritual director:

Fr. Brad Doyle, of the Diocese of Baton Rouge, did a terrific job of unpacking what the Catechism of the Catholic Church (par. 2357-2359) has to say about same-sex attractions on his show Coffee Talk with Fr. Brad. He closes by reflecting on the inspiring line in the catechism which says that people who experience same-sex attractions "can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection."

Watch Fr. Doyle's Coffee Talk on the Church's teaching on same-sex attraction

Fr. Doyle's talk is on our "Catholicism and Same-Sex Attractions" playlist

Visit our YouTube channel

The latest post on The Upper Room blog was written by a Courage member. It is the first of a four-part series entitled "Seven Characteristics of Authentic Male Friendship."

Read "Authentic Male Friendship" on The Upper Room blog

Last winter at his parish, the Courage chaplain for the Archdiocese of Washington, D.C., Fr. John Dillon, hosted Catholic University of America professor of moral theology and ethics, Dr. John Grabowski. In his presentation, Dr. Grabowski explains how the social teaching of the Catholic Church and its teachings on sexuality are not at odds with one another but are both grounded in the Church's understanding of human nature and the dignity of the person. Dr. Grabowski spends a good deal of time on the topic of same-sex attraction, fielding some tough questions from the audience. His presentation bolsters the confidence of listeners in the goodness and truth of the Church's teaching on same-sex attraction while pointing to the centrality of cultivating and modeling an authentic relationship with our Lord who has first loved us. Much of what he says is highly applicable to EnCourage members.

Courage Internacional website in Spanish

Father Philip Bochanski, executive director of Courage, appeared on an episode of the Doctor, Doctor show, a production of the Catholic Medical Association which airs on EWTN radio. They discuss what the Catholic Church does and does not teach about same-sex attractions, ways to accompany people for whom this is a personal experience, and why it matters for those in the healthcare field. The show notes highlight the "Top 3 Takeaways" of the episode:

View video of Fr. Bochanski on Doctor, Doctor show

Listen to audio of show (also on many podcast apps)

Hudson Byblow, a Courage member, has written an insightful essay on a winsome approach to reaching people who live with same-sex attractions:

Read Hudson's essay Part 1 and Part 2 on the Truth & Love blog.

This new book from the Saint Paul Center was endorsed by Courage director, Father Bochanski:

“The very first page of the Jewish and Christian Scripture proposes the key to making sense of the paradoxical unities of human life—matter and spirit, body and soul, male and female […]. Sexual Identity presents these philosophical and theological concepts in a manner accessible to all, without losing any of the dignity, grandeur, and hope that they contain. Its interdisciplinary approach demonstrates the place of these age-old truths as the real foundation of modern scientific research and the necessary guideposts for medical and psychological treatment and care. It will be an important resource for all those who want to understand and care for the whole person and will allow even the casual reader to perceive the complementary identity of men and women as, in the words of Pope Francis, ‘a great treasure…. Not only an asset, but a thing of beauty.’”

Sexual Identity book page (purchase book, watch webinar with co-authors)

Last year the Diocese of Lansing published a new policy regarding its approach to "gender identity". The release of the policy was accompanied by a beautiful and accessible booklet, A Theological Guide: The Human Person and Gender Dysphoria, which lays out the principles which inform the diocesan policy.

Read the Theological Guide

* For an explanation of the expression, "gender identity discordance," and coverage of the subject, see the Handbook for Courage and EnCourage Chaplains starting on page 81.