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Not many things are predictable in life, but one thing foster parents can be sure of is that their family dynamics will change after welcoming a foster youth into their home. Children who are already in the home, who may be adopted or biological kids, are an essential factor in the success of foster care placements and retention. How can you help families adjust to these changes?
As a first step in the licensing process, ensure the adults in the family have included their children in deciding to foster. Open and ongoing conversations will make the transition easier for all. And these conversations will need to continue throughout the placement.
In our recorded webinar What About My Other Children? Learning to See and Meet the Needs of Foster and Adoptive Siblings, Dr. Jana Hunsley shared that children already living in the home often become another caregiver, a third set of eyes to watch over the children who have joined the family. This was her experience in a family with many adopted siblings. Through her professional research, she found that kids who were already in the home thought the fostering experience could have been made better by these three things:
- Expectation preparation: The siblings she interviewed wished that they had been educated about trauma before and during the placement.
- Open communication: They wished that their family had talked openly about what was happening in their home, even the “bad stuff,” such as questioning their decision to foster during hard times.
- Whole family support: Often, all the therapy and extra attention is only focused on the child in care. Everyone in the family unit needs support to feel connected.
Encourage your families to use these conversation starters with the children already living in their home before and during a foster care placement:
- “Remember when we talked about having a child in foster care join our family? That could happen any day. What questions do you have? How do you feel about that?”
- “What ideas do you have about how we can make the child feel comfortable in our home?”
- “This is going to be new for all of us, and at times it might be really hard. You can always talk to me, and I will listen.”
- “What do you think it will feel like when they leave our home?”
Some of the long-term positive outcomes that Dr. Hunsley shared for biological or adopted children already in the home include growth in maturity, empathy, and understanding. And these children often grow up to be helpers in the world. They tend to choose professions based on their experiences in families, which may include becoming social workers, therapists, or teachers.
Our Lending Library has a variety of books that will help children of all ages understand foster care. You can search our library database or give a Resource Specialist a call, and we would be happy to provide you and your families with a list of titles.
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