New Eyes, New Heart,

New Year

As we walk across the threshold into the new year there are concerns that 2024 may be an especially difficult year. There is a lot of anger and accumulated animosity which could greatly increase the divide among people everywhere.

I return to a basic truth in scripture, that every human being has been made in the likeness of their Creator. And that we have been made this way is good in His eyes. The problem is, because of sin, we don’t always treat each other accordingly. We often look right past the wonder of His reflection, dim or bright in a particular life, to the passion of our opinions and write people off when they don’t agree.

I think, if we are honest with ourselves, sometimes it’s just easier to close the door on someone instead of enduring the tension of ongoing dialogue that ends in disagreement.

For a long time in my life, one of the most important things was to be right. I told myself I was a truth seeker. But it wasn’t pure by any means. I wanted to be the one who was correct about whatever the topic being discussed might be. I needed to be right, otherwise I felt bad inside, like maybe if I was wrong about this one thing there were many other issues I was mistaken about. In some ways, my value and identity depended on being right. And, of course, I wanted to be acknowledged as being knowledgeable about the opinions I held.

When I was six years old my older sister, Carol, was removed from my life by our parents, and put into a residential program for troubled teenagers. I saw her twice at Vista Del Mar in Los Angeles, before she got out at 18. Shortly after she was released, she married, was pregnant, and living in Compton… and she had become a Jehovah’s Witness.

Carol endured a lot of contempt and disrespect from our parents for her choices in men and God. My mom had only negative things to say about my sister for most of her life, and she would speak them even as she helped Carol and her brood of kids while she was living in Compton. I definitely took my mom’s side, and for a long time I only saw Carol through my mother’s lens.

When I came to the Lord, I knew my theology was right and Carol’s was wrong. We went head-to-head through the mail for 2 years arguing the deity of Jesus. I dreaded every letter that arrived from her. But it pushed me harder to know God more and understand His word better. I can’t say any one single point I put across made a shred of difference to Carol.

Some years later, during a ministry tour in Northern CA I found out Carol’s younger son, Kenny, had cancer. Kenny and I began talking while he was in the hospital. He wanted to know whether or not he should have a blood transfusion that might save his life. Carol was against it, because it’s against Jehovah’s Witness doctrine. But Kenny was 19, and could make his own decision. I remember the words God gave me for Kenny:

It’s one thing to die for something you believe in. It’s an entirely other thing to die for something someone else believes in. Be sure you know what you believe in.

Kenny chose the blood transfusion, but it was late in the game. My sister was very angry with me and didn’t want me to see Kenny. I remember fasting for 3 days, then canceling a concert—something I rarely do—and boarding a red-eye out of San Francisco to fly to Florida and see Kenny, knowing my sister would be very angry.

The whole way there the Lord told me to just love on Carol. Put aside all the doctrinal stuff—and just love her. I did, and that made all the difference. I began to see Carol with new eyes. It was like I had been blind for a long time. His love overcame my great need to be proved right. The Lord worked a miracle at that point, and restored our relationship as sisters during that visit.

From that time until now, Carol and I have remained connected, grateful for our relationship. While Carol is still a Jehovah’s Witness, and we continue to bump heads periodically, we have also agreed to ask God to reveal the truth to us and each other. In the meantime, we are learning to love one another better.

“Love never fails”

—1 Corinthians 13:8

-Sally Klein O'Connor

1/1/24