When I was in high school in the early 1980’s, my best friend was obsessed with Olivia Newton-John. He collected everything he could get his hands on that had anything to do with her, from magazine clippings and mall-store posters to European releases of her 12-in singles. We were scared gay boys trying to figure out our place in world that felt pretty hostile to us, and Olivia felt like a kind, non-threatening friend to him. He grew up to be one of the foremost collectors in the world of Olivia gear, such a super fan that he met her in person many times. He’s even had meals with her.
When I learned a couple of weeks ago that Ms. Newton-John had died of breast cancer, I immediately thought of Rick, who now lives on the Island of Maui, and sent him a message of condolence. He lost a friend.
Over the weekend, Joe and I saw that Grease, starring Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta, was trending on Netflix. I had to watch it. Not because I love the movie, but because it brought me back to high school, and seeing it over and over with Rick. So Joe and I were two adults, reminiscing about a being in high school, watching a movie made by our preceding generation, reminiscing about being little kids looking up to the cool high schoolers of their preceding generation.
It was all very meta.
Frankly, I was kind of shocked by how horrible the movie was! Don’t get me wrong, the singing and dancing and all-around cheesiness were great. But my goodness did those self-destructive kids come ofF as narcissistic abusers! By current standards, that movie was full of all kinds of behaviors we’d have to warn viewers about now, behaviors like smoking, drinking, reckless driving, and sexual assault. The worst part for me was that Sandy, played by Ms. Newton-John, was the only level-headed character of the lot. She was kind, mature, emotionally grounded, and still age-appropriately innocent. Her friends made her feel stupid, out of step and naive. So she changed. She adopted their world-weary demeanor and tough-girl look in order to win over the heartthrob.
Don’t you just hate those kinds of messages? The sad part is that they’re still everywhere, those messages. There may be a little warning about them at the beginning of the film, but the hurtful messages and models still exist.
That is why I am so glad we have Our Whole Lives (OWL), a curriculum offered by the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations for accompanying children, youth and adults in five stages of life through the complications of understanding our bodies, sexuality, and healthy interpersonal relationships, all with a strong focus on inclusion and justice.
This Fall, UUCSC will be offering OWL classes for our middle schoolers. We’ll need trained teachers, and guest speakers, and other helpers to make it a success. We can all help to teach our kiddos how to be thoughtful consumers of media and culture, and how to have healthier relationships.
In Peace,
Rev Denis
