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I was polishing up my "spouting off blog" reflections last Monday afternoon (something about "sacred sauntering," I believe) as I sat by my mother-in-law's bedside while she slept. Up until a few days prior, she had been her usual pleasantly perplexed self. The staff on the memory care unit frequently commented on how much they loved taking care of her because she would ramble, giggle, and smile amiably as she interacted with them.
That Monday night around midnight we got a call from Joan's nurse saying that she seemed to be in some discomfort and that they were going to call hospice to help make her more comfortable. Overnight her health declined precipitously and by Tuesday morning when I stopped by, it was looking like she may only have a few hours left to live. My husband rushed over from work and was at her bedside as she gently passed away Tuesday afternoon.
It was a head-spinningly fast decline after such a long, slow, heartbreaking journey through Alzheimer's and ovarian cancer. Now we are navigating the complicated emotions of both deep grief that she is gone and tremendous relief that she is now free from all the restlessness and confusion.
As is often the case, life ends and life carries on all in one fell swoop. The day after Joan's death, Andy stayed in Cleveland to get her affairs in order, while I drove Deborah to Boston for her art education grad program that was to begin the next day.
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As we were driving, Andy called to read us his mom's obituary that he had been writing. At that exact moment, a stunningly beautiful bald eagle swooped down, flew right across the highway directly in front of us and on down the river we were crossing. The eagle flew so close to our car that I could see the way the white feathers on its head blended into the darker feathers of its body - breathtaking.
I remembered the poem I had written for Joan last February, when we invited hospice to be a part of her care team, comparing her to an eagle - once full of strength, independence and a fighting spirit - that was slowly losing its ability to fly. Our majestic eagle, Joan, has now been released from the confines of her earthly body, stretched her wings and is flying her way home...
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