Heather & Cathy Rion Starr
L
ike many couples of a certain age, Heather (she/her/hers) and Cathy (they/them/their) Rion Starr met via a mutual friend on social media. That was in 2010. At the time, Cathy was interning at First Unitarian Church in Portland, Oregon, where Heather grew up; Heather was in Oregon during her father’s final illness and was desperate to talk with someone about anything other than hospice. Fittingly, they went to see The Social Network on their first movie date. Cathy and Heather are relative newcomers to this area, and recent members of CAMP Rehoboth; they moved here in June 2021 from Hartford, Connecticut. Both are ordained Unitarian Universalist ministers; Heather is the minister at the Unitarian Universalist church in Lewes, and Cathy works remotely as a Leadership Development Specialist for the Unitarian Universalist Association. They have two elementary school-age daughters. They learned of CAMP Rehoboth as Heather considered a career move, and they were investigating the area’s welcoming (or not) “vibe.” The family visited the area in late-March 2021 and Heather picked up a copy of Letters as she explored Rehoboth. The visible presence of an LGBTQ community was one factor they considered, and they were encouraged by their realtor’s mention that it is a geographically-dispersed LGBTQ community—not just “contained enclaves” of queer people. Heather accepted the position at UUSD, and the family moved to Milton, Delaware. And they are delighted they did! They love living here—the proximity to the beach, their super-friendly neighbors, the presence of lots of LGBTQ+ folks, families, and allies, and so much for the kids to enjoy. While they have yet to go into the CAMP Rehoboth community center, Cathy and Heather were able to enjoy a dance at Women’s FEST. “It was great to look around and see so many women across a real range of ages and presentations and dance styles,” says Heather. She and their elder daughter took in the
“We’re in a very different place than we were 30 years ago. [N]ow it’s more about ‘you do you’; about a longing to be who and what you are...” FEST Expo too; the cupcakes were a big hit! Cathy and Heather also took in a performance of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus which, despite some great music, they confessed they found a little disappointing: “It was jarring,” says Cathy, “to see so many straight-presenting musical numbers and none celebrating queer love. I was coming for some queer culture; I was coming to see myself represented.” Their expectations, they realize, were influenced by their experiences with the Hartford Gay Men’s Chorus, whose concerts were “out, loud, and proud.” (But well-supported in by the entire community nonetheless.) One of their dreams for CAMP Rehoboth is that it might become more kid-friendly—maybe a drag story hour?
CAMP Families is a program they’re hoping to connect with. They’re always interested in meeting and getting to know more LGBTQ+ families, believing it’s a very good thing—especially for their children—to have all sorts of family models in their lives. The CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) surfaced during our conversation; they felt that program, too, might work well as a family entry point. Another dream is that CAMP Rehoboth will be more celebratory of being LGBTQ+. Noting that “gayness” is much more mainstream than it once was, they’d love to see CAMP embrace a sense of playfulness; of being out, loud, proud, and openly queer. Both Heather and Cathy spoke to the apparent generational shift underway at CAMP Rehoboth, as well as in the larger society. And to the challenges inherent in honoring and serving the generation which established and supported the organization, meanwhile making space for the current and oncoming generations. “We’re in a very different place than we were 30 years ago,” they observed. In their own work, they’ve found it’s now more about “you do you”; about a longing to be who and what you are—not about fitting in or blending or assimilating. Their ideal new executive director? “Someone who will lean into and lead an evolving LGBTQ+ community center, embrace the both/and, and celebrate queer culture. Someone who values the culture (and people) who created CAMP Rehoboth, but who embraces and makes space for the current generation and the upcoming ones—be they LGBTQ or I or A or NB or….” Welcome to CAMP Rehoboth, Heather and Cathy! I’m thinking there are many ways you can help us as we grow and evolve. ▼ Marj Shannon is the editor of Letters from CAMP Rehoboth. Pictured L-R, Robin, Cathy, Braden and Heather Rion Starr JULY 8, 2022
19 Letters