This month’s Ministry to Parents class has been focused on friends. We all know friends are an important part of life. God too knows the value of friendships! That’s why he put the following verses in the Bible for us to remember:


  • Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
  • Luke 6:31 "And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them."


 Take a few minutes and read through this email as it gives specific guidance on friendships and how to coach your child at different phases of their development.

PRESCHOOL

This month's video focuses on how to help your preschooler make new friends. Below are suggestions to help them with this:


  1. Be an example of what a good friend is to your friends and to your spouse.
  2. Don’t overwhelm your preschooler by offering too many play dates and too many faces at a time.
  3. Don’t push your preschooler to be friends with someone YOU think they should be friends with. Let them gravitate towards the people they feel most compatible with. That’s what you do, isn’t it?
  4. Take the time to really know your child—what they enjoy doing, where they enjoy spending time, and whether or not they prefer small groups, one-on-one, or large group settings. Take your cue from these things to put your child in these situations to make friends.
  5. Teach, use, and reinforce their use of manners at home so they will use them with others.
  6. Don’t expect too much. Preschoolers are learning how to make and be friends. They’re going to experience bouts of selfishness, shyness, aggressiveness, and tattling. Work with them to solve these issues instead of condemning them for it.


One of the best things about being a parent is being able to watch your children enjoy the things that come with having friends. We hope that your preschooler’s early experiences in the world of friends will be positive ones!

KIDS

The Bible gives us some incredible insight into the traits of a good friend. These are the traits we want to be developing in our children to help them be the BEST FRIEND they can be:


  1. John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." This doesn’t mean that your child lets people walk all over them, but rather sometimes they play what the other kid wants instead of what he/she always wants.
  2. Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Unconditional love is the mark of a good friend, meaning your child is loyal, stays put even through conflict.
  3. Proverbs 27:9b “The pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” Good friends give good advice, wise counsel. This is from the overflow of a heart that seeks God.
  4. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." True friends strengthen and help one another.


There are steps we can take to help our child be a good friend. One of the best things you can do is talk often with your child about the qualities of a true friend. Let them know of better ways to handle certain situations. This private coaching time truly will help them be a better friend! Last, but certainly not least, is to pray with your child. Pray that God would help them be a good friend. Over time you’ll help your child become a friend “who sticks closer than a brother!"

TEENS

In the video for this month (link below if you missed it,) there were some basic action steps on helping your teen choose friends wisely. We want to include those in this email so that you can have a resource to use when you need it!


  1. Give them tools to wisely choose their friends. Tools such as making a list of qualities they want in a friend, understanding what Godly qualities look like, and recognizing the influence friends have on them.
  2. Help your teen create boundaries with their friends.
  3. Teach them how to let a friendship dissolve without letting it affect their self esteem.
  4. Take a step back! You can guide and encourage them in their choice, but do so without manipulating them. Understand that this is a very important step in the life of your teen, don’t take it personally.


One of the most beautiful pictures of friendship in the Bible is the relationship between David and Jonathan. In 1 Samuel chapter 18 it says, ”…Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him as much as he loved himself.” The greatest lesson to be learned from their friendship is not what to look for in a friend, but how to be the kind of friend that honors God. Trustworthy, honest ,kindhearted, loyal, and faithful are all wonderful qualities to find in a friend. Our teens need to know those qualities must be fostered in themselves first and then searched for in others.

Here at Asbury we have groups and activities for your children that help in cultivating real authentic faith based friendships:



If you have missed any previous classes (anxiety, relationships, technology, etc.) or just want to review, all are located on our website:

ASBURYBHAM.ORG/FAMILY/MINISTRY-TO-PARENTS