Touch Safety Rules

Teaching your child how to keep their bodies safe should be as natural as all of the other safety issues we practice with our children, such as when riding a bike you wear your helmet, or when riding in a car you wear your seat belt.  Teaching your child how to keep their bodies safe should begin when children are very small and be revisited often. 

Begin by teaching your child the proper names for their body parts. Just as they have arms and legs, they have a penis or a vagina.  Children can't tell you if they've received a NOT OK touch if they don't have the words to describe the touch. If something does happen to them, they need to have the correct language to tell you about it.

Teach your child that they are the "boss" of their own body. They should be taught that their bodies are their own, and that they have the right to say 'No' when it comes to who touches them and whom they touch.  In addition, do not insist that your child give or receive hugs or kisses from relatives if they do not wish to. This teaches children that it's okay to say no to touches from people in their family.

Explain to your child that there are three kinds of touches.  There are safe touches, unsafe touches, and unwanted touches.

• Safe Touches-These are touches that keep children safe and are good for them, and make the child feel cared for and important.  These can include hugging, pats on the back, or an arm around the shoulder.
• Unsafe Touches- These are touches that hurt children's bodies or feelings, such as hitting, pushing, pinching, and kicking.  Teach children that these kinds of touches are not okay.
• Unwanted Touches-These are touches that might be safe but that a child doesn't want from that person or at that moment.  It is okay for a child to say 'No' to an unwanted touch, even if it is from a familiar person.  

Help your child practice saying no in a strong, yet polite voice.  This will help children learn to set personal boundaries.

Once children can name the private parts of their body and know about different kinds of touches, you can teach them there is another kind of unsafe touch that is not okay. This kind of touch is when someone older or bigger tries to touch the private parts of their body.

In Protect Yourself, we teach children that no one has the right to touch the private parts of their body without a good reason. You may tell a younger child that another person may not touch their private parts unless it is to keep you clean or healthy. Your child should understand that the "clean" part of this rule applies to babies and young children at an age where they would need help with diapering, going to the bathroom, or bathing. The "healthy" part of this rule applies to doctors' visits or being checked by mom or dad if they are injured or have a problem in their private areas. Make sure your child understands that without a good reason, no one should be touching their private parts, not even if it is someone they know and trust.

Teach your child the following safety rules: 

• It is not okay to touch someone else's private body parts.
• It is not okay for someone to touch his/her own private body parts in front of you.
• It is not okay for someone to ask you to touch their private body parts.
• It is not okay for someone to ask you to take your clothes off or take pictures or videos of you with your clothes off.
• It is not okay for someone to show you pictures or videos of people without their clothes on.

Once children have been taught the touching safety rules, they learn what is okay and not okay when it comes to protecting their bodies. 

If you would like additional information or have questions about ways to educate children on body safety or our Protect Yourself Program please call our office at (989)463-1422.

Richelle Davis

CAN Prevention Educator