Conflict
And Resolution
When I write devotionals I usually write them a few days before publishing and then pray about them to see if God might have something to add or change. Last week I wrote on Escape and as I was walking and praying, God put on my heart to add: “conflict and resolution” as an additional description to the movie theme, so I did just that. And wondered why that particular phrase was important.
As I have wrestled with that all week, I realize that conflict and resolution is what each of us deal with daily.Conflict is unavoidable in relationships as people are bound by their sinful nature. Conflict is not necessarily bad or damaging but often are dealt poorly that leads to destruction.
I don’t know about you but sometimes my conflicts are self generated. Something didn’t go as planned or someone didn’t act as I thought they should have or someone I felt had been wronged or overlooked or treated badly, and I have been known to hold grudges. (just saying). Many times those grudges would be released if I would assume the position of forgiveness, a key tool, I believe, to reconciliation.
Conflict is an illusive vacuum that can truly suck the “happy”out of us if we let it…. The force of it is strong but the power of forgiveness is the plug that stops its flow!
Sometimes a conflict it is a quick fix while other times the issues seem to have a tendency to be heart embedded and become a ground swell in our minds, and when least expected, they take priority in our thoughts.
Conflicts continue to erupt and not only be a distraction but steal the everyday joy and peace that God has given us to live by. We, so many times tread on the issues that are not resolved and often times try to push them either behind us or try to stomp them into the ground and bury them. Neither of which resolves the conflict at hand. It is frustrating Sooo I figure the best way to handle conflict is face on, in prayer, and with an open heart and a trust in God’s ways which exceed what we are unable to figure out ourselves.
Resolution often starts with us…. Whether or not we have instigated the problem or not. It has been said that we cannot change others we can only change our attitude and take on things. We are called to go forward and ask God to either help us to reach out and know how to take steps to resolve whatever it is that is binding or give us the freedom to let it go and a to have a true desire to be set free from whatever baggage that we is dragging us down. It takes courage! It takes grit! It takes a willful determination. It takes Faith. It takes GOD!
Below is a 7 point guide to resolution that you might find to be helpful: (gospelcoalition.org)
Seven Steps to Resolution
1. Rejoice in the Lord always (Phil. 4:4). This counterintuitive step warranted repeating, so Paul said it again. When the floor drops out from under you, your best friend hates you, rumors multiply, people misunderstand, and the public mixes up the facts—you’re probably not having much fun. How can anyone rejoice while suffering such pain? Only by remembering that joy is primarily about what God has done for you (Phil. 2:1-11). Joy is the byproduct of a belief that difficult situations have a good purpose (Phil. 1:18-21). So rejoice in the Lord. Again I will say: Rejoice.
2. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone (Phil. 4:5a). You should be the most open and teachable party. Publicly amputate your own optical log before attempting any speck-removal surgery (Matt. 7:3). Keep your cool; don’t play the part of the wounded critter by rushing into public announcements, blog posts, or back-alley conversations that slam your rivals.
3. Remember the Lord is at hand (Phil. 4:5b). You are not alone. You will not go undefended forever. The Lord bottles every tear you shed, and he will avenge you. False accusations won’t survive eternity. In addition, your master sees everything you say and do. He won’t condone any actions you take to defame others whose names are written in the book of life, even if you think they deserve it. Praise the ever-present one who never returns evil for evil and who will never repay you as you deserve.
4. Don’t be anxious about the conflict, but ask God to resolve it (Phil. 4:6). I fear conflict and confrontation. My heart rate quickens, and my body trembles. I’m quick to seek human counsel and clarify my side of the story. But I must be quicker to seek the Lord’s counsel. I should cast my anxiety on him, ask him to do the impossible, and thank him for his marvelous, redemptive work in my relationships.
5. Guard your heart and mind with the peace of God, even when it does not make sense to do so (Phil. 4:7). My perspective always makes sense; my antagonist’s perspective doesn’t. I often speak of a conflict in a way that markets my interpretation. But what might happen if I framed the conflict in a way my rival would agree with—that is, in a manner the other person agrees is a fair summary of key issues? Every bone in my body abhors the injustice of it, but the peace of God surpasses all understanding and demands such respect for the brethren.
6. Find something—anything—praiseworthy to focus on in your antagonists (Phil. 4:8). If you stew on what your antagonists did wrong, replaying the memories to yourself and recounting your hurt feelings to others, you are sinning against God, who told you what to think about. Find something true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, or worthy of praise, and set your mind there.
7. Find good role models and continue practicing these things (Phil. 4:9). Paul endured plenty of opposition from fellow believers (Phil. 1:12-20). He knew what it’s like to be mistreated, maligned, and envied by those who are supposed to be on the same team. He learned how to rejoice in the Lord and his gospel through difficult conflicts. He’s shown us how one behaves when the God of peace is with him.
I know that advice comes easy, and also know it is hard to overcome feelings that have been hurt and even crushed. But hope lies on the other side of moving on. We just have to let God take the reigns of our lives, and now allow others to have such a grave influence that they steal the gracious joy and peace that God offers.
We, many times, are not big enough or strong enough to tackle the conflicts alone. God is here for all of us. Never think that you are the only one who is dealing with tough times. We all have them at different times and in different ways, some that are much more difficult than others, and then there are some that we can seem to be able to get a handle on.
But one thing is constant: God knows and sees and will give us strength, wisdom and courage to carry on in spite of the worldly discontent and unexpected factors that come upon us. He never promised that we, as believers, would have an easy time, only that he would hold us in his hands, hover over us and one day bring us to His glory in our true home in heaven.
Bless you my sweet friends….and may the peace of God abound in you hearts!
Praise God wherever you are and whatever situation He has allowed you to be in . . . His glory will shine through!
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