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They Are The 1%
Goldman Sachs wanted to get some press so they published a report that said the new GLP-1 agonist weight loss drugs may boost the US economy by 1%.
Yes, they said one product might boost the entire US economy by 1%.
Suuuuuure.
If that ended up being the case, might we ask who the hell is paying out this $273 BILLION to buy them every year?
Just as a frame of reference, the entire cost of all prescription medicine in America per year is $406 billion and people are absolutely outraged at that cost. So, we're just gonna bump that up by 67%? Get real.
One product boosting the biggest economy in the world by 1%...unbelievable their bosses let them publish that. Just madness.
Wut
Some people have problems, and we feel bad for them. But when we were checking out a company called Rigicon and hit the part where they spoke of an “easy to implant malleable penile prosthesis”, we were done.
Feel free to learn more if you want. But no thank you.
Eye Don’t Think So
Ever wish your eyes were a different color? Well, maybe they already are.
This company offers a treatment device that changes…err, ‘reveals underlying natural eye colors’.
Just let the laser zap your eye for a while. No big deal.
Team Roast - Nonuple Vision
A pharmaceutical company should definitely publish a photo of their CEO on the Team page.
If the CEO is a true visionary, they may want to buck tradition and publish not one, but two pictures.
But is there ever a reason to publish three photos of him on the same page? Four?
How about NINE photos? (screengrab if it doesn't load)
Nine pictures! At least they didn’t caption it something ridiculous like “The Brainy Bunch”.
Tide Pharma - Caring & Giving
When most of us think of being giving, we think of charitable donations.
When we think of caring, it’s about making an effort out of the goodness of our hearts.
But for Tide Pharmaceutical, the main way in which they exemplify their caring and giving is by...actively fulfilling their tax obligations.
Oh, how benevolent of them to adhere to laws!
Sorrento - Venue Shopping
Sorrento filed for bankruptcy in Texas, listing the place of business of one of their subsidiaries (Scintilla) as Houston.
However, said place of business was a mailbox at a UPS store and the entire company is actually operating out of San Diego as they always have. The judge did not appreciate the blatant attempt at venue shopping and stated that the CEO: “assuredly was not managing or making decisions for Scintilla at a UPS store, much less in a small mailbox at that store.”
That's pretty funny to picture, but let's go one step further and imagine a scenario where this tiny CEO in a mailbox is held up by a Sorrento bracket.
The result would be a Sorrento racket supported by a Sorrento bracket.
Team Roast - Sad Mugs
Going with a black and white motif for your team photos can be artsy and chic. And in this case it seems to work fine for the CEO & CSO.
But as we descend the page, it takes a dark turn into more of a mugshot vibe. Not a lot of smiles amongst the proletariat. In fact, this might be the most depressing group we've come across.
When you hover over the photos you don't get any info other than their first name. Half surprised they weren't holding them on placards in the pictures.
Anyways, at least we learned Pedro Pascal goes by Andrii when he's working here.
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