Hello!
As the new school year approaches, all parents are hopeful that their children and teens will be able to make new friends and reconnect with previous friends. For those with social challenges, this can feel daunting and be quite an anxiety-provoking experience. Here are some tips excerpted from our bestselling book on friendship strategies, How to Make & Keep Friends: Tips for Kids to Overcome 50 Common Social Challenges.
Bonus comments have been added by us to help you prepare your kids for a successful and social return to school this fall.
Tips on Making New Friends
We believe that there is a friend out there for everyone and having one or more good friends can make life more fun. It is important to keep trying to make new friends by talking to, and listening to, different people. Think about it as going on a friendship treasure hunt.
1. Try to make just one new friend and not several friends all at once.
Some kids think that they need to be entertaining to the whole class, bus, or lunch table. This usually doesn’t work out as planned, so tone down the extra humor and lead with just being nice and showing interest in other kids.
2. Be friendly and be the one to say hello first to other people.
When kids feel anxious, they can come across like they’re not interested in being friends and might be afraid to approach other kids. Try to gain just enough courage (10 seconds will do it) to sit next to someone new and say “hey, what’s up?” and maybe "my name is ____, what's yours?" to get things started.
3. Practice conversation starters with family so that you are ready to talk with other people.
Practice asking Mom how her day was and have Mom answer you with some level of detail. Practice asking follow-up questions and listening to the overall idea of what she is saying. Conversations are made up of questions, comments, and statements, so you want to make sure there is a good balance of each.
4. Remember to listen when other people are talking.
It can be tricky to listen to what someone else is sharing, especially if it isn’t interesting to you. You might have to fake being interested in what they’re saying even if you’re bored. Remember that other people listen to the things that you like, even if they don’t share your interests. READ MORE
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Bios: Donna Shea, Founder of the Peter Pan Center for Social and Emotional Growth, and Nadine Briggs, CEO of Simply Social Kids are authors of the How to Make and Keep Friends books series. They specialize in creating simple tips that teach kids with social challenges the social language of friendship. Both authors offer social skills groups through their independent companies.
