Time to Grieve and Heal
Courage to Stay Awake
Six weeks ago I lost my brother-in-law. He was like a brother to me for forty-five years. Last year, I lost one of my best friends of forty-five years. They were both extraordinary people who were big-hearted and brought so much love and joy to others. The light is dimmer without their presence on earth. My heart deeply aches for both of them but their luminous lights and spirits comfort and inspire me to live as fully as I can each day. Death changes us. Death wakes us up to the sacredness and preciousness of life if we stay awake and aware as much as we can each day. As we experience in living, death is a part of life. We have all lost loved ones and will continue to do so.
On this Memorial Day weekend, may we remember and honor all those who have lost their lives in service to our country and their loved ones and families.
In addition, we also experience societal grief associated with the massacres that go on in our country like the recent school shooting in Uvalde, Texas and the shooting rampage at a grocery store in Buffalo, New York that took the lives of so many innocent children and adults. How are we to respond to these tragedies that take place repeatedly in our world? I'm not sure... I humbly think that becoming indifferent or outraged to the point that we are divisive doesn't work. What may work and what we are called to do is to stay present, engaged and connected to our Self and our process of sitting with our grief, our outrage, our broken hearts and the personal and societal losses we suffer each day. The practices of yoga, breath practices and meditation help us to be aware of, honor, respect and accept the state of our heart, and our grief process. These practices help us to stay awake and aware, to allow ourselves "to be" and not immediately "do" anything, gain clarity about how is the best way to respond and not be reactive and; thoughtfully determine what are the most valuable actions we can take to support healing in ourselves and contribute to positive and healing changes in the world.
Grief takes time. There is no timeline or short cuts for grief. We all grieve differently and we need to honor and respect these differences. As we experience, grief cracks our hearts wide open in unfathomable ways. Rumi reminds us “[t]he wound is the place where the light enters you.” Being with and sitting through the pain is the only thing that ultimately liberates us from it. Our work is to show up for our personal grief and the grief of others. The kindest and most courageous thing we can do for a grieving heart is to show up and be even if we have no words or we stumble over our words. Our words don't matter as much as showing up and allowing ourselves to vulnerably be with our broken heart with others. In the being, we will be informed of what path of doing is best.
When we are ready, we choose to rejoin life in a manner that fits. May we remember, we never get over someone we love who dies. The mutual love we shared long lives in our hearts after the physical body leaves the earth. The goal is not to move on but rather to move forward to the best of our ability. We are invited to live our lives to the fullest and contribute as much love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, healing and peace to our families and the world as much as we can which is what all deceased loved ones would want us to do.
Trust your grief process in sitting with your losses and heartache. Sit with your heartbreak and outrage about the tragic events that occur in our country and our world and trust that you will be guided about the best actions for you to take to contribute to the healing of our society. Remember the gifts of yoga, breath practices and meditation to guide you to do so. Our practices on the mat help us to grow in awareness, live consciously, take good care of ourselves, become stronger and more resilient spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. This quiet strength helps us to simultaneously hold our grief and experience quiet joy and peace in our daily lives. The steadfastness we manifest also helps us to be engaged with others, contribute to the healing of the world and to be of service to others.
Outside yoga classes on the deck of the Holyoke Boathouse have begun! Come join us for class. See all details below. Come see John for massage and craniosacral treatments to release pain and stress and keep your body in balance!
