|
I'm Runner, You're Glue
Gone are the days of employment being considered a rat race. We have progressed to a great new era where we are freed from this construct and can now enter a time when it's more like a...horse race?
Nhwa Pharmaceutical of Xuzhou, China declares how they "advocate horse racing system, mediocre staff yielding their positions to the ones better qualified."
That jibes well with the company motto: "The whippings will continue until morale improves."
Speaking of Animals
Not sure what to make of this job posting seeking an experienced animal technician, yet requesting only 0-6 months of experience. How they gonna include zero? That's no experience, man.
As an added bonus, they're paying slightly above fast-food wages for this job requiring you to roll 800 lb. cages around and walk five miles daily on concrete floors in the paradise known as Spencerville, Ohio (pop. 2,223).
May this posting stay unfilled forever.
Antibody of Christ
After visiting 13,000+ unique biotech websites, even we can find something shockingly new. In this case it's an antibody company that invokes religion on their home page (“Harnessing God’s Elegant Antibody Creation”) and whose CEO & Founder believes in a literal creationist account of the world.
We guessed maybe a near-death experience led to a religious awakening for the founder. According to a relatively extensive biography the company published, that didn't seem to be the case. But that biography did talk about his love of the bible and how that has led him to reach out to Jewish people.
Say what?
So the CEO was raised Jewish and converted to Christianity at 19. Later he wrote a book about his conversion and now spends millions of dollars each year mailing this book to a list of preferentially Jewish people, some of whom have gotten very annoyed.
For whatever reason, the CEO’s assistant at Scantibodies answered questions for a Detroit-area Jewish publication about this whole ordeal. Weird. Is that really part of the job description when working at a biotech company? Explaining how your boss’ proselytizing was not meant to be offensive?
You think you've seen it all...
On the Subject
Random, but here's an old clinical study from Penumbra where, if you scroll down, you will see the two clinical contacts are named Sit & Pray.
Team Toasts
We spend a lot of time joking about the bad company websites, but every now and again we need to point out some good ones.
In their team photo TalusBio does a nice job of framing their company logo. The people are distributed nicely, eyes all open and everyone positioned properly. Being in the office with some plants is also a comfortably unique setting. 10/10
And since we're fans of the "frame-the-logo" concept, EvolveImmune did it outside, from a not-to-tall ladder, and again - everyone was looking (or wearing sunglasses). After investigating using Google Street view, we have no idea where they took this pic, but it does appear to be a wipe board with paper over it, not an actual sign in the ground. They had us fooled. Nice. 9/10
Team Roast - Bioxodes
If you went to school for a long time, you get to brag about it. You can get a PhD. An MBA. An MD. And that's the end of the letters you can append to your name in biotech leadership. Everything else is for your resume only.
Don't tell Rustam on the Advisory Board at Bioxodes. He's got a PhD, so that one's cool, but what the hell is going on with the other twenty-five letters. This whole company ain't got enough postage for those letters. Ludicrous display.
Team Roast - Abterra
Ah, one of those cutesy team pages where they mention everyone's hobbies and people go over-the-top with some answers, like the girl who watches Twilight on repeat.
Played out!
Plus, we could do without the Royals fan choking a caiman. Of course, the Royals are the second worst hitting team in baseball as of this mailing, so maybe this guy is something of a choke expert.
Happy A**iversary
Four years ago this week, Allergan lost their bid to protect patents from court review by giving them to a native American tribe. They claimed that as a result of this gifting, the tribe’s sovereign status under federal law made the patents immune from administrative review by the agency.
Thankfully, this gambit failed. But what a bunch of a**holes.
| 
