Can you believe we’re already entering the spring semester? As a new member of the Bengal community, I’ve spent a fair amount of time these past few months thinking about new beginnings. I’ve been reflecting on my first few years as a student affairs professional and on one student I worked with in particular.
Nearly twenty years ago, I met with a student early one morning after he had a particularly rough night. The events leading to his meeting with me were a culmination of on-going mental health struggles, overwhelming personal life strain, and some other tough circumstances. As he sat across from me explaining his situation, it was clear to me that he was truly apologetic for causing a disruption on campus, felt embarrassed about his behavior, and was adamant that he wouldn’t cause any other problems. In truth, I believed him.
At the same time, I couldn’t help but see a student who was incredibly run down, exhausted, with poor hygiene and what seemed to be an inability to care for himself. Although he technically said all the right things, I couldn’t help but think he needed more help than he was admitting to. He begged me to allow him back into campus housing and promised me he would be fine. I struggled with how to respond, but honesty and concern won out. I told him I saw in front of me a student who probably hadn’t slept more than 3 hours at a time for weeks, maybe months. I saw someone who looked as if they hadn’t showered, done laundry, or even eaten a healthy meal in far too long. And I saw someone in front of me who was most definitely not “okay” and for whom I was deeply worried. After a lengthy discussion I was able to get this student connected with multiple campus resources. Nearly a month later, he set up an unexpected appointment with me. He came to inform me that with the support of his family and therapist, he decided to take a semester off from school to work on his well being. He had come to tell me goodbye and to thank me. What he said to me next has been permanently ingrained in my brain. He said “Thank you for seeing me. For really seeing me, and for saying tough things that nobody else had said to me before.”
When I think about my role as the Associate Dean of Students and how to explain what I do, I think this is it: I see students. I see the potential, the talents and dreams of students, and I support them in finding opportunities that best help them achieve these things. I also see the pain, the struggles, the insecurities, and the missteps, and I help students connect to the multitude of campus resources that can help them address the barriers to their success.
No problem, no question, and no need is too great or too small for the Dean of Students Office. We are here for all students. We see them. We believe in them. We want them to experience success in all areas of their life as a student here. As caring cheerleaders for your student, what can you do to support your students? While we expect students to take the lead on their education, that doesn’t mean you can’t help them along the way. Information is a powerful thing. Knowing what resources exist on campus (including the Dean of Students Office) and encouraging students to utilize them proactively is a fantastic start. Becoming familiar with the university website, academic calendars, important dates, policies/procedures, etc., can be a great way for you to balance letting your student lead their own experience while also assisting them in problem-solving those issues that can sometimes take students off course. Knowing which direction to send them in can be a huge help. Asking them questions about their plans when important academic dates come up can be a great prompt for conversations about how they are doing and helping them to stack on track.
If you need any help finding the information you need in order to support your students, don’t hesitate to reach out to my office. You can also send your questions and concerns to us at parent@isu.edu, our Bengal Family Network email, which is checked daily. We’ll help you find the answers you need.
Wishing you a safe, healthy and happy start to a new year,
Felice Otero, Associate Dean of Students
Office of the Dean of Students
