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Therapeutic Techniques to use During Family Gatherings
Coregulation
It's important to remember that your child cannot regulate on their own; they need a parent to model regulation and they need the vital relationship piece to promote attachment and healing.
Take time throughout the hours of the family gathering (every 60 minutes or so) and take a brain break with your child. Go to a quiet area and do one of the following activities together:
- 3-5 minutes of deep breathing while sitting and facing each other
- 5 minutes of brain gyms
- Colour a picture together
- Take a walk around the block
- Play a game of "I Spy"
- Play a hand clap game
- Spend 5 minutes rocking together
Using coregulation activities at regular intervals will help your child to feel safe and less over whelmed, and will help reduce or prevent meltdowns.
Activity Box
Set up an activity box for your child that you can bring along when you go out to visit or have people over. Include:
- A small area rug (bath mat size)
- A small puzzle (50 - 200 pieces)
- A handcraft project (knitting loom, cross stitch, crochet, etc.)
- A novel/2-3 story books
- A craft project (kits available at Michael's work well!)
- A dried snack (trail mix, crackers, etc.)
Set your child up in a safe place (near you, away from other children, etc.), sitting on their rug (this allows them to know where they need to be and provides a sense of security and predictability). Give them 1 activity from the box to work on. Switch activities as needed.
Having your child work on these activities and have items from home allows them to feel safe with predictable things that are familiar to them. It also allows them to remain in a safe area and reduces opportunities for causing chaos.
Letter to Family and Friends
Some families find it very beneficial to send a letter (email, text) to friends and family members ahead of gatherings to explain what is going on with their child.
If you will be attending a gathering, let people know that your child needs to be in a secure environment within your sight at all times, that due to their high anxiety they do better with fewer interactions from people, that they need focused tasks/activities to help their brain development. Let them know you have to leave at a certain time in order to give your child healing amounts of rest, and let them know about any food issues your child may have and that you will be the only one giving them food throughout the gathering.
If you can't attend a gathering, let friends and family know that you would love to be there and spend time with them, and hopefully next year you'll be able to make it. Let them know that you are focusing on your child's health and wellbeing and that this year healing is your priority.
You can ask a family member to take some pictures to send you, or join in on a quick video call to say hi to everyone.
Don't feel obligated to attend just because other people say you should!
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