Dear TBZ community:
Here is a story about a people, who while on a journey to some unknown place, are doing their best to trust, and to hope that all will be okay.
Here is this week’s parsha story – the encounter between hope and fear.
Parshat Ki Tisa, tells us the well-known story of the Golden Calf.
It begins with these verse (32:1):
וַיַּרְא הָעָם כִּי־בֹשֵׁשׁ מֹשֶׁה לָרֶדֶת מִן־הָהָר
וַיִּקָּהֵל הָעָם עַל־אַהֲרֹן וַיֹּאמְרוּ אֵלָיו
קוּם עֲשֵׂה־לָנוּ אֱלֹהִים אֲשֶׁר יֵלְכוּ לְפָנֵינוּ
כִּי־זֶה מֹשֶׁה הָאִישׁ אֲשֶׁר הֶעֱלָנוּ מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם לֹא יָדַעְנוּ מֶה־הָיָה לוֹ
When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, the people gathered against Aaron and said to him,
“Come, make us a god who shall go before us, for that fellow Moses
—the man who brought us from the land of Egypt—
we do not know what has happened to him.”
Why do the people build this Golden Calf? Perhaps it can be explained as a response to fear – Moshe, their leader, the one who took them out of Egypt and saved them from Pharaoh, has not returned from the mountain. The people, for the first time since leaving Egypt, are alone without Moshe’s physical presence. The Targum (Arameic translation to the Tanach/Hebrew Bible) understands the word boshesh - בֹשֵׁשׁ - as Moshe was late!
Perhaps Moshe was late, later than the people could abide, and they became impatient, and then fearful, and then hopeless. And so they built something, however misguided, to dampen fear and ignite hope.
Da’at Zkenim, a Torah commentary compiled by later generations of scholars from the writings of the Franco-German school in the 12th-13th century (Ba’alei Tosafot).
explains that actually the ask for a new god - was to substitute Moshe, not God (YHVH) and that they were asking for a new Judge:
עשה לנו אלוהים
“make a new Judge for us!”
The people saying this to Aaron did not intend for that symbol to be an idol, but to be a supreme judge in lieu of Moses, who they thought had died on the Mountain. This is quite clear from how they justified their request when they said:
כי לא כי זה האיש משה אשר העלנו מארץ מצרים לא ידענו מה היה לו
“for we do not know what has happened to the man Moses, who has brought us out of Egypt.”
When reading the story from this perspective - the perspective of need, longing and hope– I feel a great sense of compassion toward the people of Israel as they decide they must build this Golden Calf. I can imagine their fear and their desperation, and the need to hold and be in control of something when all around you seems alien and dangerous.
God and Moshe, though, see the people differently; from their perspective, up in the mountain, the people have rushed to build an idol to replace God (and/or Moshe) (32:7-8):
וַיְדַבֵּר יְהֹוָה אֶל־מֹשֶׁה לֶךְ־רֵד כִּי שִׁחֵת עַמְּךָ אֲשֶׁר הֶעֱלֵיתָ מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם
Adonai spoke to Moses, “Hurry down, for your people, whom you brought out of the land of Egypt, have acted basely.
סָרוּ מַהֵר מִן־הַדֶּרֶךְ אֲשֶׁר צִוִּיתִם עָשׂוּ לָהֶם עֵגֶל מַסֵּכָה וַיִּשְׁתַּחֲווּ־לוֹ וַיִּזְבְּחוּ־לוֹ וַיֹּאמְרוּ אֵלֶּה אֱלֹהֶיךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר הֶעֱלוּךָ מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם
They have been quick to turn aside from the way that I enjoined upon them. They have made themselves a molten calf and bowed low to it and sacrificed to it, saying: ‘This is your god, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt!’”
From up high, God and Moshe see an impatient and untrusting people, and they themselves become impatient as well.
These feelings of fear, impatience and hope, can speak to where we are right now, this very week, as we move to the next phase of this pandemic. Some of us are impatient and some are apprehensive. We hope for change and we are fearful of it.
For me, I am holding this hope in this moment: that things are getting better, at least for now, and perhaps, only perhaps, the worst of this pandemic is behind us.
But as you read my previous sentence, and I reread it, we can also see how my hope is mixed with hesitation. My hope and my fear are intertwined. All I can do, all anyone can do, is to move forward with that acknowledgment.
The story of the Golden Calf can be read as a story of the encounter between hope and fear. The people are waiting on this God and this Covenant that is going to be revealed to them and they have hope. Moshe leaves and they can not see him or touch his physical presence. They become afraid. Their fear and their need to hope compels them to create hope - even if it is an idol. Meanwhile, Moshe and God, also hoping in this moment of revelation, experience impatience and anger with the people, which doesn’t allow them to see the people’s fear and doubt.
I believe that over the next few weeks we must ask ourselves to have patience. Each of us face our fears and our hopes in different ways and my prayer- my hope- is that we offer compassion, and patience, with ourselves and toward others. Moshe did return, even if he was a bit late.
May this Shabbat bring renewal and blessings to all of you and your loved ones.
May we find strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts with generosity.
May all those who are ill find healing.
May we have a joyful and restful Shabbat!
Shabbat Shalom,
