Accepted
“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.”
Romans 8:1-2
One year ago, I gave up “Googling” things during Lent. Yes, that’s right! It may seem like a strange discipline to give up, but I love researching information. I enjoy looking up answers to questions that pop into my head or come up in conversation — I find it much more fun to research answers to a specific query. Sometimes, the answers come after much research.
For instance, it took several days to find the replacement quartz slab needed for our kitchen because it was out of stock. After a lengthy period of detective work through Google, it yielded results. Similarly, it took me years to find the connection between our Labrador’s parvovirus and orthopedic issues (though finding the connection did not solve the issues).
By giving up my need to research and learn, I realized several things. First, the world does not stop spinning if I don’t find the answer. Ignorance is not as painful as I thought it might be. It freed my mind for other things, chiefly for space and stillness.
Second, while making space for stillness, I found a busy energy within me that drove my need to research information. It is a nervous energy. As I sat with and prayed through that feeling, I realized certain insecurities that I was not facing: a fear about facing myself and, within it all, I discovered God’s grace.
As I leaned into the feelings, I found that even though I might be apprehensive about looking at certain parts of my life, God is not. He does not condemn me. He loves where I feel unlovable.
The Collect for Ash Wednesday says, “You hate nothing you have made.” And that is true of me too. I am part of God’s creation, even in my brokenness and sins. I realized that I no longer had to be ashamed.
This Lent, consider befriending your fears: listen to them and give them space. Let them be an invitation to dig deeper, pray, and make room for God’s grace. Discover again the good news that you are not condemned. You are loved. You are accepted. You are forgiven.
