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Ki Savo- Gratitude
For this year’s Parsha Lesson I will be focusing on a chinuch (parenting/ educational) lesson that can be derived from the Dvar Torah.
Background
The beginning of this week’s Parsha discusses the bringing of the Bikkurim. The Bikkurim were the first fruits that would grow every year. The farmer would identify which fruits were the first to blossom of every different type of fruit and then bring those fruits up to Yerushalayim, to the Beis Hamikdash and give them to the Kohen.
The purpose of this ceremony is similar to the idea of making a bracha before we eat food- to give thanks to Hashem and focus on the fact that all of the blessing that we receive comes from Him. Similarly, the farmer, before he himself enjoys his harvest, sets aside the first fruits of his labor to give to Hashem (the Kohanim in the Beis Hamikdash).
There is an interesting halacha (law) about the bringing of the Bikkurim and that is that the bringing of the Bikkurim did not begin until after the Jewish nation conquered the whole land of Eretz Yisroel and it was divided amongst the various Shevatim (tribes). The first years of the Jewish people living in the land of Eretz Yisroel there was no mitzvah (command from Hashem) for the Jewish people to bring their Bikkurim to the Kohanim.
Why was this so?
It appears from the various commentators that until the land was fully conquered and divided up amongst the people, the Jewish people did not fully feel as if Hashem Himself was giving them the land. Therefore, until it was fully conquered and divided up the Bikkurim were not brought.
Question
Why would this be? Why should the people wait until the land was fully conquered and divided to bring the bikkurim- even if they would not be able to FULLY feel that Hashem Himself gave them the land and the produce was a product of that land that Hashem gave them, they would still be able to feel gratitude in a somewhat meaningful way! Especially being that whatever land they were harvesting was conquered in miraculous fashion and clearly Hashem Himself did give it to them!
Perhaps the full recognition of Hashem’s beneficence would not be felt, but why would the people need to wait until they are able to FULLY appreciate Hashem’s bounty and not bring the Bikkurim to show gratitude to Hashem in a meaningful- although incomplete- way?
Answer
For the people to bring the Bikkurim in a way which could not be complete, and would- by the reality of the situation- be in a less than fully meaningful way, that would hinder their future ability to bring the bikkurim, and express their gratitude, in a more complete and full way.
Bringing the Bikkurim as a less than optimal offering of gratitude is not a problem- any gratitude is a terrific step in the right direction- but since this ceremony would now be weakened and turned into something which is done with less than the ideal feeling of gratitude, and it was not even possible for them to feel full gratitude to Hashem, then the ritual itself becomes just that: a ritual. A ritual which is less than ideally meaningful and not as potent as it could be.
This would mean that in future years, after Hashem gave them the entire land and the land was divided up amongst the Shevatim, the bringing of the Bikkurim would still feel like the bringing of Bikkurim that they had brought previously and it would be too difficult for this to be a full expression of gratitude as it could have been. Therefore, it is preferable to not do it in that way and preserve the Bikkurim for a fuller expression of thanks at a later time.
Chinuch Lesson
There is an age-old debate as to whether or not a parent should instruct their child to say ‘thank you.’ I am not going to decide that issue, but I would like to share some substance to the way that, I believe, it should be thought about.
There are three different possibilities as to what is going on when a parent instructs their child to say thank you:
- The parent is telling the child that saying ‘thank you’ is the way to express a feeling of gratitude.
- The parent is directing the child that what just happened is something to be grateful for.
- The parent is directing the child that what just happened demands that they say ‘thank you’.
If the parent is very attuned to the child’s emotions and senses that the child does have a feeling of gratitude, they are just unsure as to how to express that feeling, wouldn’t the parent be correct in directing the child that ‘thank you’ is a way to express the feeling of gratitude that they feel?
If the parent is directing the child that the proper way to live is to feel gratitude when someone does something good for them- wouldn’t that also be correct for the parent to direct the child about this important character trait, so necessary to living a full and happy life?
If the parent is directing the child that what just happened demands a ‘thank you’- regardless of what the child is feeling and regardless of what the word ‘thank you’ means- then hasn’t ‘thank you’ now become a meaningless ritual which will not be able to truly evoke, or express, feeling of gratitude in the future?
When it comes to directing our children, or even ourselves, in growing in life, it is most important to not ‘shoot ourselves in the foot’ by going for a quicker and more superficial accomplishment of goodness- if it will harm our ability to attain more substantive and more profound growth in the future.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful Shabbos!
Rabbi Eli Meir Kramer
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