Breakthrough
Newsletter
VOLUME XIII ISSUE NO. 12 | DECEMBER 2021
Breakthrough
"Productive insight; clear (often sudden) understanding of a complex situation." Free Dictionary

Pop the bubble of conditioned thinking and emerge into the creative realm of "no absolutes," continuous change, uncertainty and unlimited possibilities.

Then, there can be innovation, adaptation and optimal performance.
Performance and Open-minded Mindfulness
Open-minded: questioning everything, accepting diversity and uncertainty.  

Mindful:  consciously aware; concentrated. 

Foundation for blending process, project, engagement and knowledge management into a cohesive approach to optimize performance.
Happiness and Contentment
By George Pitagorsky
Who doesn't want to be happy? Happiness is a universally sought-after goal. You know you are living optimally when you are happy even when you are sad, mad, or scared; even when you don’t get what you want.
 
That kind of happiness is not the kind that has you dancing around and beaming. The dancing around kind of happiness is great, but it is temporary. It is conditioned on external events like getting something you want or like.
 
The kind of happiness that persists even when you don’t get what you want is not conditioned by external events. It is a deep satisfaction, contentment which comes when you are “centered” and experiencing stillness and clarity even in the face of change, confusion, imperfection, and disappointment.
 
When I am giving a talk, leading a workshop, or facilitating a group, I am happy. There is a flow, I am fully immersed. There are no doubts or distractions. I am lost in the movement, like a dancer in the midst of a performance. Then, when it is over there is a letdown. A sense of disappointment that it is over. 

Scroll down to continue article
Coaching for Happy, Resilient Effectiveness

George Pitagorsky offers individual and team coaching with a foundation in mindful awareness, systems and process thinking, and wisdom teachings. The goal is sustained optimal performance - effectiveness, happiness, resilience, and adaptability.

Read more
self-awareliving.com
Contentment is being ok with the fact that it is over and with the letdown as well. Contentment comes from knowing and accepting that everything is impermanent, that feelings are like the waves in the ocean, and that clinging to the flow experience or anything else is a sure way to unhappiness.

"The Buddha said peace is the greatest happiness. We might call it a quiet joy, and that quiet joy can be underneath all the waves, because there will be waves—the ups and downs, times of exuberance and times when we’re feeling low." [1] - Joseph Goldstein

For clarity let's call the happiness linked to getting what you like 'happiness', and the kind that results from unconditional acceptance, 'contentment'. Contentment is "the quiet joy underneath all the waves." That kind of joy is a deep satisfaction. It is unconditional happiness.
 
Happiness is based on external events which create an inner state that ranges from joy, great delight, and excitement to peaceful contentment. It is quite nice. But it is temporary. When the external events change, happiness stops.
 
Contentment is being free from worry, at ease with things as they are, being fundamentally satisfied, OK no matter what. Everything is OK, even when it is not OK. Contentment is long-lasting and relies on the intention to do your best and to be OK with the results. The result is serenity that can be felt by not only yourself but those around you.
 
Acceptance
Acceptance is the key. Happiness is lost as soon as there is remorse that a pleasant experience is or will be over, a desire for more, a desire to make the current situation last longer or be replaced by something more pleasant.
 
For example, you take a spoonful of your favorite flavor of ice cream (assuming you like ice cream and are lactose tolerant), you are happy as you experience the cold creamy sweetness. A moment later you take another spoonful, and then another, driven by the desire for more of that happiness. And then, it's gone. You may be content with the experience and all's well with the world. Or, you may have eaten to much of it and your stomach is upset and you are no longer happy. nor content. Or you didn't have enough, and you are unhappy that there is no more.
 
Of course, there is nothing wrong with temporary happiness. It is great. It is natural to prefer happiness and pleasure to unhappiness and pain. Though, there is discontent if you try to keep the feeling going when the external events change or when you lose interest, or if all there is a constant pursuit of happiness that is never achieved. And there is a problem if what makes you happy causes pain to yourself others.
 
Cultivating Contentment
How do you cultivate contentment? You do it by
  • Recognizing that contentment, unconditional happiness, is naturally present at the core of every being
  • Realizing that this essential quality is obscured by clinging - wanting things to be different than they are
  • Accepting that pleasant, unpleasant and neutral feelings are all going to be experienced - "there will be waves"
  • Cultivating the mindful awareness that knows when clinging, mental habits, and dissatisfaction cloud contentment
  • Letting the clouds pass so you can return to the quiet joy underneath all the waves.

Happy New Year and happy all years to come.
May we all be happy without cause.
May we experience peace and be free from the causes of suffering.
 
____________

[1] “Joseph Goldstein on Easing Self-Judgement and Finding Joy”
https://tricycle.org/trikedaily/joseph-goldstein-self-judgement-joy/
How to be Happy Even When You Are Sad, Mad or Scared:

How to be happy...How to be Happy Even When You Are Sad, Mad or Scared is available on Amazon.com. It is a book for children of all ages (including those in adult bodies). Buy it for the children in your life so they can be better able to “feel and deal” - feel and accept their emotions and deal with them in a way that avoids being driven by them. You can order the book at https://www.amazon.com/How-Happy-Even-When-Scared/dp/1072233363
Performance and Open-minded Mindfulness
Open-minded: questioning everything, accepting diversity and uncertainty. 
 
Mindful: consciously aware; concentrated. 

Foundation for blending process, project, engagement and knowledge management into a cohesive approach to optimize performance.
By George Pitagorsky

Success is measured in how well and how regularly you meet expectations. But what exactly are expectations, and how do you effectively manage them when multiple priorities and personalities are involved?
Using the case study of a Project Manager coordinating an organizational transition, this Managing Expectations book explores how to apply a mindful, compassionate, and practical approach to satisfying expectations in any situation. George Pitagorsky describes how to make sure expectations are rational, mutually understood, and accepted by all those with a stake in the project. This process relies on blending a crisp analytical approach with the interpersonal skills needed to negotiate win-win understandings of what is supposed to be delivered, by when, for how much, by who, and under what conditions.
Managing Conflict in Projects
By George Pitagorsky

Managing Conflict in Projects: Applying Mindfulness and Analysis for Optimal Results by George Pitagorsky charts a course for identifying and dealing with conflict in a project context.

Pitagorsky states up front that conflict management is not a cookbook solution to disagreement-a set of prescribed actions to be applied in all situations. His overall approach seeks to balance two aspects of conflict management: analysis based on a codified process and people-centered behavioral skills.

The book differentiates conflict resolution and conflict management. Management goes beyond resolution to include relationship building that may serve to avoid conflict or facilitate resolution if it occurs.
 
The Zen Approach to Project Management 
By George Pitagorsky

Projects are often more complex and stressful than they need to be. Far too many of them fail to meet expectations. There are far too many conflicts. There are too few moments of joy and too much anxiety. But there is hope. It is possible to remove the unnecessary stress and complexity. This book is about how to do just that. It links the essential principles and techniques of managing projects to a "wisdom" approach for working with complex, people-based activities.