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June, 2023
Newsletter from The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
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A friend of mine recently posted this message on her Face Book page.
"I quickly took a snapshot of my kitchen sink as I was walking out the door yesterday to meet my niece. You see, about 40 years ago, as I was making plans to be married, my grandma gave me some advice that I have never forgotten.
She lived in a wheelchair the last 30 years of her life. She showed me a t-towel and pulled me to her kitchen sink. She covered her dirty dishes with her t-towel and said, ''Never say no to a chance to go with Dennis, or to go with a friend, just because you have housework to do. Just cover your dishes with a t-towel. They will be waiting for you when you return.'
I did just that yesterday and have had many times that I just closed the door to a messy room or covered my dishes until I could get to them! Don't miss out on life because of less important matters that take up our time! The chores can sometimes wait! Source: Unknown"
Pretty good advice don't you think?
Grace and peace,
Penny and David Hudson
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God's Design and Why It Matters - Rethinking Sexuality - Dr. Juli Sattery
Gary Thomas, Bestselling Christian author and international speaker, tells us Dr. Sattery's book Rethinking Sexuality. . . is a must-read book for Christians who want to think biblically about sexual matters.
She believes for far too long, Christianity has not represented a safe place to find help related to sexuality. She says, "The culture seems to be more compelling and consistent guide than the church."
If you would like to read Thomas' entire article on this subject, click here for Rethiking Sexuality by Gary Thomas.
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Stepfamily Strategies That Succeed
Nancy Landrum who is a Stepparent and is now an author and relationship coach, tells us these practices more often lead to success:
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Build the Marriage First by learning and practicing respectful methods of speaking, listening, and managing hurt feelings or anger.
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Agree to parent your own child or co-parent with your Ex. It is usually difficult for a parent to accept the parenting of a new partner and depending on the age of the child, often impossible for a child to accept a step-parent as a "legitimate" parental figure.
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Each partner deals with their own Ex and their own extended family. When you get in between your partner and their Ex or their family issues, it creates what is known as a 'relationship triangle." . . a recipe for trouble. If issues need to be addressed with your side of the family, deal with them yourself.
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Be transparent about all assets and finances. As soon as possible make plans for how assets will be divided whenever either of you passes.
For more information on Landrum's ministry, click here
| Are you more of a "Don't Want" or "A Would Like" Communicator?" | |
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Upcoming Marriage Events
Free Workshop -
Rebuilding Love - Finding Restorative Power of God In Our Marriage
Friday - June 23 from 6:30 - 8:15 p.m.
MERCI Barn
8510 Highway 111
Memphis, IN
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Whether your marriage is fulfilling, disappointing or in a spiral, we all will gain insight and encouragement by hearing and learning new ways of loving our spouse God’s way. Jaron & Haley illustrate this so well!
Rebuilding Love is a transformative marriage workshop that will guide couples in healing and rebuilding their relationship after experiencing a difficult season or conflict.
Jaron and Haley will explore what it takes to develop effective communication in order to rebuild trust, restore intimacy, and cultivate a renewed commitment. Participants gain practical strategies to overcome challenges, nurture personal well-being, and create a stronger, more fulfilling marriage.
Jaron and Haley Hollis are devoted pastors at The Believers Church in Louisville who lead their church community with compassion and wisdom.
To register, click here
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RSM - Ready, Set, Marriage -
Engaged couples through 5 years of marriage
Free
4 Friday Night Programs, July 28, August 4,11 & 18
MERCI Barn
8510 Highway 111
Memphis, IN
| Ryan and Brittany Naville have been married almost 11 years and have four beautiful children. They credit their marriage happiness with having received encouragement in Godly marriage principles early on. In that Spirit, they are excited to partner with couples to pass on what has helped them not only enjoy but thrive in their marriage. | |
3 Amazing Events to Celebrate Your Marriage
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Celebrate Your Marriage at Grand Hotel, Mackinac Island. MI - October 8-9, 2023 - Special Guests - Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley, Vice President and Content Creator for Focus on the Family.
- Celebrate Your Marriage at Sea Upon the Norwegian Escape - January 6-14, 2024
- Celebrate Your Marriage at Grand Hotel, Mackinac Island, MI - May 19-20, 2024 Special Guest - Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage.
For more information, click here.
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If your conversations lean to "Don't Want" statements, you are entering a high-risk opener. It carries a sense of negativity. To invite more positivity change to a "Would Like" message.
Example: Don't Want:
"I don't want to go to the same restaurant we normally visit. "
Instead try a "Would Like" statement, such as "I would like to go to the new restaurant downtown and take a walk across the bridge."
Note: Avoid following "Would Like" with the word "You." "I would like you" sounds controlling. You'll get a better response with statements like, "I would like to . . ." or "I would like more. . ."
A practical book and workbook on Communication is The Power of Two - Communication Skills for a Strong, Loving Marriage by Susan Heitler, PH.D and Abigail Hirsch, MA.
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For Those in Troubled Marriages
If you are struggling in your
marriage, please be sure to check out these upcoming programs in and around the areas we minister:
Retrouvaille - A Weekend for Troubled Marriages
Orlando, Florida - July 14-16, 2023
Louisville, KY - August 4-6, 2023
Nashville, TN September 8-10, 2023
Please note: this is an international program and if you are in a different location, please check their website for other locations.
The cost for registration is normally between $350 - $400.
For more click here.
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56 Simple Compliments to Encourage Your Spouse
One Extraordinary Marriage published this list of compliments that will help you affirm your spouse.
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These simple words could change your spouse's day in an instant. Your spouse needs to know how much you care.
click here for entire document
| CharCuterie Luxury Picnics -A Special Date Night or Other Special Occasion | |
CharCuterie Luxury Picnics are a family-owned business creating intimate pop-up luxury experiences.
Whether it is a date night, day date, engagement, prom, bridal shower, birthday party or just for fun, they can provide the perfect experience. They take care of everything including design, delivery, set up and clean up.
Click here to view their website
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When Marriages Fail - excerpt from Bill Tinsley, pastor, church planter, missionary, author and columnist. | |
Bill Tinsley says, "Jesus maintained a high bar for marriage. 'What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.' "
But whenever Jesus encountered people who were broken and wounded, he always responded with compassion and redemption."
Tinsley goes on to say, "We need to do all we can to help every marriage survive and thrive. But divorce is a reality in our world. Most, if not all, of our families have been affected by it. We need to embrace and help those whose dreams have been shattered. The world needs less judgment and more Jesus."
A resource we recommend for those who are divorced is "Divorce Care."
Divorce Care is life changing support groups who welcome people and guide them on the path to recovery after separation and divorce. Over 1 million people have found comfort and hope through this 13-week video-based series.
For more information, click here
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And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
1 John 4:16
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Coupletime Activity -
A Trip Down Memory Lane
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I'm not sure who wrote this activity but we used to use it in some of our presentations and we thought it might be one you would enjoy,.
Please relax, settle into a comfortable position, loosen your muscles and individually reflect on what the two of you have been through together.
- Close your eyes and imagine a large book like a family Bible.
- This is a book of your relationship.
- Now, turn to the first page. As we walk through this journey, we want you to slowly flip through the pages as you remember.
- Remember the very first time you saw your partner.
- What was he/she wearing?
- What were your thoughts and feelings?
- Remember your first date - Where did you go? What did you do? Again, what were your thoughts and feelings?
- Think about a time, at which, you knew you were in love and wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.
- Turn to the page of your wedding. Remember the day, particularly the service and becoming aware of each other as husband and wife.
- Think about the fist place you lived. Walk through the different rooms, remembering times, thoughts and feelings you shared.
- Focus on one or two special times together - times of great joy, stress or sorrow that drew you close.
- Now, you are together, sharing this present moment. Your marriage partner, the person closest to you, is sitting by your side. Think lovingly of each other, for all the joys you have shared.
- Finally, think of what the future holds for you. And then pray silently that God will guide you through all your tomorrows together.
Slowly come back to the present. Open your eyes and when you are ready, share your memory journal together.
We hope you enjoyed this special time.
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