Dear TBZ community:
This week's parasha, is the last of the book of Genesis, Vayechi. Jacob, the third of our patriarchs dies. Just before his death Jacob does two things. He tells his children not to bury him in Egypt, instead he wants his body to be returned to Canaan where his father and grandfather are buried. Next Jacob calls his grandchildren and then each of their children to bless them. The words he speaks are, to this day, the traditional introduction to the blessing of parents to the children.
יְשִׂמְךָ אֱלֹהִים כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה
God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.
The Torah tells us that Jacob’s (Israel’s) eyes were dim with age and he could not see:
וְעֵינֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל כָּבְדוּ מִזֹּקֶן לֹא יוּכַל לִרְאוֹת
The Torah also tells us that when his son Joseph tries to correct Jacob for crossing his hands and placing his right hand over the youngest of his sons Efraim, Jacob responds:
יָדַעְתִּי בְנִי יָדַעְתִּי
I know, my son, I know.
At the end of Jacob’s life, at the end of his journey - a journey that began with deceit, and continued to be molded by deceit, I see this a moment of growth, of bravery and truth-facing.
Let’s remember a bit of his story: Isaac, Jacob’s father also became blind in his old age. But it was not Isaac’s blindness alone that led him to bless Jacob instead of Esau. Isaac was deceived by Rivkah and by Jacob. Complicit in this deceition, Jacob received the blessing that was meant for Esau.
Jacob starts his adult journey in deceit and continues through his life again and again blind to truth. He doesn't know; he doesn't see. Jacob did not know he was marrying Leah and Jacob did not know the truth about his son Joseph. As a son, Jacob deceives his father and as he grows older he is deceived by his uncle and then by his own children.
Now, in this moment, as Jacob is about to die he crosses his hands to bless his grandchildren – placing his right hand on the younger and the left hand on the older.
וַיִּשְׁלַח יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶת־יְמִינוֹ וַיָּשֶׁת עַל־רֹאשׁ אֶפְרַיִם וְהוּא הַצָּעִיר
וְאֶת־שְׂמֹאלוֹ עַל־רֹאשׁ מְנַשֶּׁה שִׂכֵּל אֶת־יָדָיו כִּי מְנַשֶּׁה הַבְּכוֹר
But Israel stretched out his right hand and laid it on Ephraim’s head,
though he was the younger, and his left hand on Manasseh’s head—thus crossing his hands—although Manasseh was the first-born.
Right or wrong about blessing Efraim first is not what stands out for me, rather it is the fact that Jacob says – even after he is described as blind, as not being able to see with clarity – I know what I'm doing. I am doing this honestly, facing the truth and not trying to hide behind my blindness.
Perhaps we can see this as the moment when Jacob, finally, and honestly, faces the messiness of his life, of his childhood, of his parenting.
יָדַעְתִּי בְנִי יָדַעְתִּי
I know, my son, I know.
I can imagine him saying, I know it might not be considered the right way, but this is what I am doing and I know it. I do this intentionally, I don’t hide in my blindness, I don't pretend not to know.
Sometimes hiding seems easier than honestly facing the messiness of our actions and the messiness of our lives. Sometimes we hide from the truth or hide the truth from others; sometimes we do this without any intention but many times we do this because facing the complexities – the twisting of our hands – feels overwhelming and too hard to bear. After a life, where too many times things were twisted for Jacob, he finally שִׂכֵּל אֶת־יָדָיו, crosses his hand and says, this time, I don’t hide, I know.
I read this as an invitation to face life with intention and honesty even when things are not straight forward, perfect or right.
May we receive this invitation to live our lives, as much as possible, without hiding from our own truths and meaningfully.
May this Shabbat bring renewal and blessings to all of you and your loved ones.
May we find strength, courage, and patience, and open our hearts with generosity.
May all those who are ill find healing.
May we have a joyful and restful Shabbat!
Shabbat Shalom,
