Vayigash- To live in harmony
For this year of Parsha Lesson, I will be focusing on one area of character growth, to think about in the week ahead and the benefits that a person would have from becoming better in that area.
Background
We have, at the beginning of this week’s Parsha, a legendary showdown between two of the greatest people to ever live: Yosef Hatzaddik and Yehuda. Yosef was the 2nd in command, essentially the king, of Mitzrayim (Egypt) while Yehuda was the progenitor of the line of Kings of the Jewish nation, the Davidic dyansty. Chazal (the Rabbis who have passed down the Torah) have many insights and lessons that we can learn from this historic showdown.
Yehuda was confronting a man, Yosef, who he knew was the 2nd most powerful man in the world at that time. Yehuda was unaware of Yosef’s true identity, but he did understand him to be a person of unique qualities.
Yosef knew that he was facing off against the most powerful of his brothers. Yosef knew, in addition, that because of Yehuda’s outstanding qualities and courage he and his family were destined to be the leaders of the Jewish people in the future.
The Midrash tells us that as Yosef and Yehuda were engaging in their debate, Yosef saw that Yehuda’s fury was being awakened and he was therefore fearful that his country would actually be destroyed by this awesome and courageous warrior. Yosef then, immediately, told the other Egyptians to leave the room at which point he revealed himself to his brothers. The Midrash praises Yosef for his tremendous wisdom in not continuing to engage with Yehuda and rather breaking their face-off.
Question
What is so ‘wise’ about Yosef discontinuing their argument? Yosef knew that Yehuda was capable and becoming angry enough to actually attempt, to destroy Egypt! It would seem to be really quite simple to realize that he should ‘abort mission’ and seek to calm matters down and assuage Yehuda’s anger.
Especially when we are discussing Yosef, who was of the wisest people in history! Someone who had a plan to save the entire country, and a good portion of the world, from a devastating famine, not continuing to engage and fight with Yehuda was a testament to HIS wisdom!? It would seem that his wisdom was well-established in other areas, far beyond this manifestation of wisdom.
Answer
R’ Henoch Leibowitz ztz”l explains that Chazal are teaching us here how difficult it is to be engaged in an argument with someone else and to still break away and take steps to diffuse the situation. This is so difficult, and takes such wisdom, that for someone who saved an entire country from a drought and starvation (Yosef), this was more of an accomplishment and testament to his wisdom!
And the fact that he was faced with mortal danger did not mitigate the accomplishment and the wisdom necessary to extricate himself! In fact, it seems that someone of lesser wisdom would have kept at it until Yehuda and the other brothers were provoked to destroy Mitzrayim, which, Yosef realized, was well within their capabilities.
Lesson
We learn from here two lessons:
- Once a person is involved in an argument it is extremely difficult to extricate themselves from it and diffuse the situation. To avoid it in the first place is not as difficult, but once a person is involved, they cannot think clearly and remove themselves from it without difficulty.
- Someone who is wise will have an easier time extricating themselves from an argument. Even after they are embroiled in an argument, a wise person will be able to figure out how to get themselves out of it- although it may be difficult.
Benefits of this...
When a person understands how dangerous it is to become embroiled in arguments and fighting, a person will be aware of making sure that they do not become involved in such things in the first place. R’ Chaim Shulewitz ztz”l famously observed that discord is like a fire and whoever is involved in it will be burnt. Fighting, arguments, are extremely dangerous.
When a person realizes further that the way to know how to proceed when one is in an argument and a fight is with wisdom, a person will come to appreciate how important it is to develop the proper wisdom. As we say at the end of the ‘ketores’ (part of Shabbos prayers and for certain customs part of daily prayer) ‘Talmidei Chachamim (Torah scholars) increase peace in the world.’ Someone who is expert in the wisdom and knowledge of the Torah, will have the necessary tools to not only follow the dictums of the Torah, but will know how to engage in life as well.
Wishing everyone a wonderful Shabbos!
