Emor- A True Leader
For Year 2 of Parsha Lesson, I will be focusing on one practical middah, character trait, to think about in the week ahead and steps we can take to attain it.
Background
In this week’s Parsha, we learn of the laws of impurity. Specifically, the Torah teaches us the different ways in which Kohanim can become impure and how they must guard themselves from becoming impure.
The Torah tells us that a Kohen is not permitted to become impure from the dead. What this means is that a Kohen is not permitted to partake in funerals, burying the dead, etc. The exception to this rule is when it comes to the Kohen being involved in the funeral and related aspects of the death of the Kohen’s parent, child, brother, or unmarried sister of the Kohen themselves. And, of course, a Kohen can be involved in burying his own wife.
The Seforno explains that the deeper reason why a Kohen cannot be involved in funerals and other activities which would make him impure to the dead, is because to be involved in eulogizing and mourning others would lessen the respect the Kohen will have in the eyes of the people. A Kohen is meant to be a leader of the Jewish people. The Kohanim are supposed to be the ones to teach the Jewish people, to help them to understand the Torah and in general to make decisions for the good of the nation.
Question
How would being involved in mourning, being like one of the people, make the Kohen less likely to be listened to? It would seem to be just the opposite! The more relatable, the more that the people can see the Kohen as ‘one of them’ wouldn’t they be more likely to listen to him and accept what he says?
When one looks around the world, don’t parents, potential Presidents, and other types of leaders, try to make themselves more ‘like the people’ in their interest in being accepted? Why does the Torah have rules to keep the Kohen separate and removed from the people he is leading?
Answer
The Torah, by way of the Sforno’s explanation, is teaching us a piercing insight into how people work: The more respect and more uplifted than them another person is, the more likely they are to really respect and listen to that which the person says.
If the Kohen mourned and eulogized like everyone else, true this would make him more accepted, but it would not make him more respected. And the degree of affect one person can have on another person is directly proportional to the amount of respect and the degree of ‘pedestal’ that the listener has for the one he is listening to. To be popular amongst the people, that the people should feel like the one in charge is their ‘buddy’ and just like them, may make the leader more popular, but less effective.
Lesson
In order to be a leader that really leads people, a leader must have the highest regard and respect of their adherents. For one to be a popular leader who makes people feel good about themselves and where they are currently, it would be important to be ‘one of the people.’ But to lead people to a better place than where they are, to raise them up to a level where they will be better off, for that role- a leader must have the untarnished respect of their followers.
To even eulogize and mourn along with the rest of the people would be a taint on the leader’s reverence and esteem in which they should be held.
The Rabbis speak very much of the love and care that a leader must convey to their adherents, but this love and care need not lead to a debasing, even slightly, in the honor of the leader. This honor is absolutely necessary and important- in order for the leader to be able to truly lead.
First Step
The first step as parents, educators, leaders of whoever it is that we are leading, is to properly understand and have the proper mindset as to what our role must be. It may feel good to be popular, accepted and ‘one of the guys’, but are we doing the right thing for those we are leading? Does being ‘part of the crew’ lead people to accept properly the direction of the leader, or does it lead to fights and/or disregarding the leader's authority to lead?
It is important for people to have friends, but it is also important for people to have leaders. Those leaders need to realize that while love and care are extremely important, the proper authority and respect is necessary as well. It is not possible for someone who is ‘one of the guys’ to reprimand and show the proper way of doing things to people who regard them as an equal.
For this reason it is most advantageous and kind to those being led, for the leaders to appropriately command their respect. Not for one’s own ego, but rather for the good of those being led.
Have a wonderful Shabbos!
Rabbi Eli Meir Kramer
