By Mike Hyland

Executive Director, NEPPA

For some odd reason, I have a tendency to remember quotes from old movies that I watched as a kid. I am fond of using those quotes when conversing with others hoping they too remember the obscure quote. Unfortunately, I often miss the mark with the younger generation and after spurting out a cool quote, they give me the blank stare as if to say, “Old man, what are you blabbering about?” I then explain the movie I took the quote from in an effort to ‘spark their memory’. But, for the most part they still look at me with a gaze of amazement and say the movie was made before they were born, and they have not, nor ever will watch it. When it comes to old movie quotes, I’ve been told that I’m an idiot savant.

So, on to the subject of communications. Cool Hand Luke, 1967, the captain says, “What we’ve got here ….is failure to communicate”. I must have watched that movie 50 times over the years and loved Paul Newman’s leading role as the cool convict, Luke Jackson. And that quote always seems to fit when I’ve looked back at some episode or issue that didn’t work well in my life. Most problems we face, in relationships, at work, with our kids or parents, normally come down to a problem with - or lack of -communication.

In 2013 I was fortunate to find myself in Alanya, Turkey for the first ever Turkish Lacrosse Open. I was one of two American lacrosse referees sent over to kick off a sport that had never been played in Turkey. Alanya is about 300 miles north of the Syrian border and is located on the Mediterranean Sea. As I prepared for my trip, I realized communication could be difficult, so I reminded myself that I should always stay on my toes. And sure enough, right out of the box communications was an issue. Game one of the tournaments, I was the Crew Chief for Istanbul versus Moscow. There was very little English spoken amongst teammates, and to be honest there wasn’t much love shown between the two teams either. I found myself throwing more flags than normal as I was trying to keep World War three from breaking out on the field. Towards the end of the game, the players were getting chippy and I threw two flags on a Moscow player for crosschecking and asked him to go to the penalty box. He just stood there and didn’t move. He obviously couldn’t understand what I was saying. I motioned for him to go toward the sideline. I was getting frustrated when I finally yelled over for help from the Moscow Captain, Gene Arkhipov who played collegiate lacrosse in the United States at Rocester Institute of Technology. Gene called out in his native Russian tongue and the large defenseman ran off the field and into the penalty box.

It dawned on me that many times we need help in effectively communicating, and instead of learning, adapting, and getting better at communicating, we many times simply go silent or choose to avoid communication in fear of confrontation or disappointment. Well, NEPPA is no different. Throughout this past year here in Littleton, I’ve heard a variety of times “I didn’t know you held that class”, or “I wasn’t aware of what NEPPA staff does”. Shame on us, we need to communicate better and more effectively, ensuring that you and your staff know the value of NEPPA Membership, including the educational offerings. I plan to work on that, and always welcome input on how you would like us to communicate with you and your staff.

As for that huge Russian defenseman – we happened to be standing in the food line an hour after the game. As we started to walk with our food trays to the seating area, he noticed me even though I wasn’t wearing my black and white stripes nor carrying yellow hankies. He paused in his walk toward the Moscow team table, looked down at me and said “Ref, great game today, sorry about those last two cross checks.” In PERFECT English.

Another lesson to be learned. Communication is a two-way street. We need to speak wisely, listen carefully, and never listen to respond.

Sincerely,

-Mike

Executive Director

NEPPA

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