Beha’aloscha- Know thyself
For this year of Parsha Lesson, I will be focusing on one area of character growth, to think about in the week ahead and the benefits that a person would have from becoming better in that area.
Background
In this week’s Parsha, we learn of a series of unfortunate events that happened as the Jewish people were traveling through the desert. The first was that some people started complaining against Hashem. This was followed by a fire that Hashem sent to punish those who were complaining.
The next incident happened with a group of people again complaining against Hashem. This time the Torah specifies that they were complaining about the food, the manna, that they were eating. After satisfying their demands for real meat, Hashem again sent a sort of plague to punish those who were complaining against Hashem.
The Seforno (commentary written by R’ Ovadiah ben Yakov Seforno. Born around 1470 in Cesena, Italy. Died in 1550 in Bologna, Italy) explains that in both of these instances the reason why the people who were complaining against Hashem were killed is because there was, in reality, nothing for them to complain about.
In the first instance they were ostensibly complaining about the weariness of the journey, but Hashem took care of all cause of weariness from them. They traveled in a perfectly flat straight path, the road being leveled by the Aron (Ark) which traveled before them, the temperature was at a perfectly comfortable level, kept that way by the clouds of glory in which they traveled, and their shoes, clothing and bodies were kept in perfect condition by way of divine assistance.
In the second instance they were complaining about the food and specifically the lack of meat, but, in fact, they had tremendous flocks from which they could eat meat. In addition, the manna was a divine food that would actually take on the flavor and texture of whatever food they wanted. Hence, their complaints were baseless and they were therefore punished accordingly.
Question
If you would ask them, the actual members of the Jewish nation who were complaining, would they claim to be upset about the weariness of the road or the qualitative lacking in the food provided by Hashem? If you were to test their feelings, wouldn’t their feelings be ‘hurt’, ‘saddened’, ‘upset’ by the conditions that they were in? Aren’t their feelings their reality? If so, why were they punished for expressing those feelings?
Answer
The Seforno observes that the Torah uses the word ‘כמתאוננים’ which means ‘like complaining’ or, ‘as if complaining’ to describe the people who were complaining. The Seforno explains that these people were not truly complaining in their hearts, being that there was no real cause for them to complain, rather they were complaining with their words in order to test Hashem. In the first situation they were testing if Hashem could make the journey even more pleasant and in the second situation they were testing to see if Hashem could provide them with an extra abundance of meat and tasty foods.
In other words, they were lying. The words they were saying did NOT honestly express the feelings that were within them. If there were proper basis for them to complain, if they were truly aggrieved, and they would express that outwardly in the form of complaints, there would have been no problem. Perhaps they should anyways trust in Hashem, etc. but there would not be anything wrong with them complaining- that is a normal and acceptable reaction to pain or difficulty.
However, in this situation, the people were not truly pained or aggrieved. Rather they were complaining for other reasons. The people were using a fabricated complaint in order to provide the basis to extract greater gains and more pleasure that they were not deserving of. This was not only lying but it was lying in a way which attributed negativity to Hashem in order to justify their ulterior motives and as a ploy to further their plot at gaining something which they were not otherwise deserving.
There was some kernel of truth to what they were saying, there was certainly ‘an’ aspect of difficulty to the journey and there was certainly ‘an’ aspect of not the ideal type of enjoyment of food- many different varieties, etc. but the complaints and ‘hardship’ were fabricated and exaggerated.
Lesson
We cannot just accept the feelings that well up inside of us unquestionably. We cannot just believe them and ‘take their word’. We need to question our feelings and be suspicious of ulterior motives that may exist inside of us to justify certain behaviors that we want to do for ulterior motives. This is an invaluable, necessary part of the character and personality of anyone who wants to live honestly and successfully.
A person needs to be able to be a ‘bystander’ to their thoughts and feelings and weigh them and question them. If a person were to follow their feelings unquestionably and without challenge, they would be led to believe all sorts of lies and distortions about one’s self! This would, obviously, be a tremendous obstacle to living in reality and making decisions and pursuing goals that are to one’s benefit and not to one’s own detriment.
Benefits of this…
When a person realizes that they can believe things that are false to be true, about themselves, in order to further their aims and designs- this is when a person can begin the process of living honestly and making proper decisions.
When a person realizes that there are ulterior motives within them that want to believe certain things and that these ulterior motives will spur a person to feel all sorts of things- which are not reality- this is when a person will have their eyes opened to the constant struggle that exists within themselves between their own inclinations towards good and evil.
And, finally, when a person has their eyes opened to the internal struggle that exists inside of every human being, they will finally be able to set down the path to understand themselves and why they behave- and feel- as they do. And who will be the ultimate beneficiary of this process? The person themselves.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful Shabbos,
Rabbi Eli Meir Kramer
