As We Forgive Those Who Sin Against Us
“Then Peter came and said to Him, ‘Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy times seven.’”
Matthew 18:21-22
In some ways, this scene between Peter and Jesus is comical. Anyone who has had to deal with children has probably encountered the crying child trying to justify his or her naughty behavior with the words, “They did it first!” No doubt, Peter was trying to find some way of wiggling out of forgiving even one more time. And yet, Jesus does not let him off the hook. “You are not to forgive just seven times, but seventy times seven!” As you may know, in Jesus’s day, seven was a symbol, not just a number. It often had an eternal, endless quality to it. So really, Jesus is not telling Peter that forgiveness runs out after the 490th time, but to forgive and forgive and forgive.
Why should we do that? One reason is clear. Jesus tells us to pray, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.”[1] If we do not forgive others, we lock God’s forgiveness out of our own hearts. If we deny forgiveness, we allow our pain to give way to anger, resentment and even hatred, festering within us like a poison. Frederick Buechner writes about anger’s effect on the human soul:
“Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel — both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back — in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.”[2]
At this point, it may be tempting to allow the “Yes, buts” to gather.
“Yes, but can we forgive if our enemy does not repent?” Jesus might answer, “Can your enemy repent unless you are willing to forgive?” On the Cross, Jesus prayed that His enemies might be forgiven while they were still intent on His death.
“Yes, but you don’t know how badly I have been hurt.” That may be true. It might be that we do not know how badly you have been hurt by your offender . Nevertheless, we pray, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”
“Yes, but what if we forgive and they hurt us again?” Jesus says forgive “seventy times seven.” If we want to experience the healing power of mercy, we must be willing to shell it out. Our other choice is to let all the pain, wounds and resentment continue to have power over us.
Offering forgiveness is freeing. How long do we want the words anger, resentment or grudge to be part of our heart’s vocabulary? Better to let them go so that not only have we given mercy, but we have made room in our lives for it to enter in as well.
Another Step….
Who do you need to forgive today? Why are you waiting?
Prayer
“O Lord, remember not only the men and women of good will, but also those of ill will. But do not remember all the suffering they have inflicted on us; remember the fruits we have bought, thanks to this suffering — our comradeship, our loyalty, our courage, our generosity, the greatness of heart which has grown out of all of this, and when they come to judgment let all the fruits which we have borne be their forgiveness.”
This prayer was written by an unknown prisoner at Ravensbruck Concentration Camp and left by the body of a dead child.[3]
[1] Matthew 6:12.
[2] Frederick Buechner, “Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC” (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1973) 2.
[3] Mary Batchelor, comp. “The Doubleday Prayer Collection” (New York: Doubleday, 1997) 50-51.
