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October 2021 MV Mediation Program We Can Work It Out!

MEDIATION MUSINGS Sara Barnes, Executive Director I am a little frustrated and I want to share what is challenging me right now. Maybe you can help. I recently attended a national meeting devoted to Alternate Dispute Resolution (ADR). In attendance were practitioners from all over the US and some other countries. We were eager to hear the research from those at the University of Nebraska in a presentation entitled "What the Public's Lack of Understanding of ADR Means." I've been involved in this work in various capacities since the 1980s. Approaching my 40th anniversary as a mediator, I was hoping the research would show we had gained some ground. Nope. The study indicated that the population is overwhelmingly confused about what mediation is. People have no idea that our principles are confidentiality, self-determination, voluntariness. They don't know that mediators are neutral. They confuse arbitration and mediation. They do not know that the settlements we help participants to reach are very highly successful. With about a half-century of work in alternative dispute resolution, people in the US generally don't have a clue what we do. The discussants pointed to the difficulty of showing the process of mediation through popular media. "Everybody knows the excitement of the courtroom dramas," said one, "but what are you going to show to help people believe in mediation––'After twenty minutes, John began realizing that what Sam was saying had merit and reconsidered his terms and demands'? Its not a very photogenic process." Can you help talk about mediation? In recognition of 2021 Annual Conflict Resolution Week (October 18–24), it seems like a great time to start chipping away at the public's lack of knowledge. It is good to know that members of our supporter community are out there spreading the word. We have a long way to go. Register HERE for Upcoming Courses Part 1 of our Introduction to Mediation course begins on October 25. For those who have done some preliminary coursework, we look forward to having you in class! If you are thinking about participating in this popular and participatory class and you are not sure if it is the right class, please reach out to Sara Barnes, the core instructor, who will be happy to chat with you about whether the course is a good fit.

Click here to read our 2021 Annual Report.

Parent Mediation Program–– Divorce & Conflict Resolution Are you having trouble handling conflict at home? We can provide mediation or conflict coaching through phone or video conference. We have mediators with child development experience and can consider parent–teen mediation sessions based upon your circumstances. If you are looking for us to help you to recalculate your child support, you should know the Massachusetts Child Support guidelines have been updated and there is a new calculator as of October 2, 2021. If you need help talking with your spouse or partner, we are part of the Statewide Parent Mediation Program (PMP) providing parents––married, unmarried, divorced, or separated––with up to four hours of free mediation. MVMP Family and Divorce mediators can provide you with mediation sessions to discuss parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions, and communication, or to renegotiate existing plans. Please contact the office to schedule an intake call. We are here to help. info@mvmediation.org or call 508 693-2199 

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Conflict Coaching can help you or someone you know It is not therapy. It is not advice or consultation. So what is Conflict Coaching? Conflict Coaching is a one-on-one process, with the client and coach working collaboratively to deconstruct a specific conflict. The process usually takes place over two one-hour sessions. The client finishes with a plan for going forward with their life. Our form of Conflict Coaching is called CLAMSHELL; the coaches follow a research-based protocol with specific steps that are explained by the CLAMSHELL mnemonic. We are all swimming in conflict. Every day is filled with conflicts big and small. All kinds of concerns bring clients to us for coaching. For example: Internal conflict: Should I do this or not? External conflict: We keep getting in the same argument all the time. Workplace conflict: I'm not being valued at the level I want to be. Relationship conflict: We need a new way to try to talk to each other. Those who go through coaching report making significant breakthroughs and have learned to use new conflict resolution tools. Our coaches can take on more cases than we have. Would you tell those you know about this service? We are here to help.

Youth Mediation Update Click here to take our YOUTH SURVEY Would you please help our Youth Program? Send any young person between 13 and 22 or any adult who works with youth to our survey. We would like to have a broad cross-section of responses as we seek to understand the conflict landscape for young people here on the Island. We will continue to work with the Regional High School and the Charter School this year. Where else are we needed? Survey here Email your survey to Katie Ruppel, our Youth Mediation Coordinator at mvyouthmediation@gmail.com

Outreach to the Brazilian and Portuguese speaking community

Our services are available for those from Dukes and Bristol Counties who speak Portuguese. Please reach out to us if we can help you with housing, family, neighbor, or community disputes. Nossos serviços estão disponíveis em português para os residentes em Dukes e Bristol County. Entre em contato conosco se voce necessita de ajuda com conflitos em casos de moradia, família, disputas com vizinhos, trabalho, e na comunidade.

telefone (508) 693-2199 ou email admin@mvmediation.org

Conflict Resolution Week October 18–24 International Conflict Resolution Day is recognized during the third week in October. Take a moment this week to resolve a conflict. Here is our popular flyer, 10 Things You Can Do to Resolve a Conflict. RAFT /ERAP - HOUSING PROGRAM As part of the Statewide EDI, Eviction Diversion Initiative, MVMP is still actively providing free Mediation services via Zoom for housing cases in Dukes County, and in Bristol County at the District Courts of Fall River, New Bedford, and Attleboro. If you are facing housing instability and can't make your rent payments, we can provide information about rental financial assistance programs such as RAFT (Rental Assistance for Families in Transition) and ERAP (Emergency Rental Assistance Program).    For more information email admin@mvmediation.org or call 508 693-2199 BOARD CORNER The September Board meeting began with a wide-ranging discussion on becoming an anti-racist organization, and we used the chart below to review our history and chart our path toward improvement. The Board also decided to commit a portion of every meeting to building our knowledge and deepening our commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion. We reviewed our extensive services, including Conflict Coaching and Youth, Housing, and Agricultural Mediation; the Board then discussed new areas for growth and our goal of generating more effective publicity to increase awareness. MV Mediation in the News Read the article here: MV Mediation in the press Our Mission To serve our community by providing education, outreach, mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation, and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.  Our Vision To create an island of competent, capable, and effective conflict resolvers. MEDIATORS' Check-in, Role-Plays, and Book Club Check-in every Wednesday at 4 p.m. to discuss aspects of conflict resolution in our community. Contact info@mvmediation.org to join us by Zoom. 10.13.21 Conflict Analysis––Mapping the conflict 10.20.21 Refining Our Questioning Skills––Part II 10.27.21 Creating Mediator Mini-Lectures Part II 11.3.21 Impasse––There is no such thing? 11.10.21 Public Perception--New research on the public's understanding of ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution: we have a lot of work to do! 11.17.21 Trauma Informed––How mediators and conflict coaches can be better informed about the effects and implications of trauma on our clients 11.24.21 Grateful for our service providers––celebrating the remarkable achievements of our mediators, coaches, facilitators, and supporters Role-plays for training mediators are up and going--most weeks Monday late afternoon/evening or Thursday mornings. Contact us at info@mvmediation.org to schedule a session.  This Way Out by Peter T. Coleman is our current book club read. Reading and discussion sessions are taking place every other Thursday starting on 09/09/2021. It is not too late to join! Please contact us at info@mvmediation.org to join us. 

Spreading the Word about Mediation on the Golf Course Our Board member Ken Andrichik took to the links to spread the word about MV Mediation. Those attending the Boys and Girls Club fundraiser report that all was peaceful and a good time was had by all––no mediation was needed.

Why I Mediate: Because the world needs it! I hope to learn how to listen, and help others hear each other. ––Jessie Leaman, Apprentice Mediator

At MVMP our slogan is We Can Work It Out, Would you like to borrow this slogan? Feel free. You Can Work It Out! We are here if you need our help. 

Thank you for the amazing support of our donors and sponsors and to Rockland Trust Foundation, Cape Cod 5, and Cronig's Market for their continued support.

MV Mediation Program | mvmediation.org 508 693 2999

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