LOVE AND LOGIC
Since the beginning of time, kids have devoted themselves to the creative testing of parental limits. It seems that it’s our job to set the limits, and it’s their job to take them for a test drive and crash those limits. If they rev their motors, and our boundaries come crashing down, we’re in big trouble—and so are they!
One common way that kids test our parental fortitude is by pitting us against each other. In families where there is marital tension, divorce, or remarriage, this type of testing can reach epic proportions. Maybe you’ve heard one of the following:
“Dad lets me!”
“Mom said I could.”
“Dad never listens. He’s mean.”
“Mom yelled at us!”
“Why do you make me do that? Mom doesn’t.”
“Not fair. I’m telling Dad!”
Resisting the urge to rescue your kids from the “mean” parent is critical! So is avoiding the trap of arguing with them about how you are right, and the other parent is wrong.
Wise parents stick to their limits and, with loving humor, repeat the following:
“Thanks for letting me know about that.
Aren’t you lucky to have parents who are different from each other?”
Kids don’t need parents who are clones of each other. Kids need parents who respect and support each other, even when they don’t agree about everything. Modeling mutual respect also helps teach kids how to respect others. Listen to our new audios in, 7 Ways to Create A Respectful, Responsible, and Resilient Family, for more insight on how to establish and build mutual respect within your family.
Thanks for reading!
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