ESpirit
 We Must Not Be Defeated


Recently, this pandemic has really begun to bear down on me. I’m an introvert (who pretends to be an extrovert), so the initial stages of our global predicament personally were a blessing. The social lockdown gave me more intimate time with my family and my other deep loves in life: praying, writing, reading, and running.

However, we’re all connected, like many poles together holding up a great tent. And as the ongoing fatigue, despair, sickness, and death has snapped one pole after another, the weight of the tent hangs heavier on us. The quiet nightmarish quality of this situation is that every day seems to bring further breakdown than repair.

This is a time that we need to become stronger; not just for ourselves, but for each other. Beneath the burden of increasing doubt, apathy, and uncertainty, I have held on to Paul’s encouragement in Romans 5, “knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.”

During this time of sustained reflection, I received a fortuitous quote by the late majestic poet, Maya Angelou. Her words conveyed for me this spirit of divine hope within noble human character that can be forged from the trials of our lives:

“We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. It may be necessary to encounter the defeat so that we can know who we are. So that we can see, Oh, that happened, and I rose up. I did get knocked down flat in front of the whole world and I rose up. I didn't run away -- I rose back up right where I'd been knocked down. And that's how you get to know yourself. You say, I can get up! I have enough of life in me to make somebody jealous enough to want to knock me down. I have so much courage in me that I have the effrontery, the incredible gall to stand up. And that's it.”

The outlook looms grim and my heart feels tired. But I have experienced how another’s unexpected kind words, a generous smile, a sincerely expressed “thank you," can do so much to dispel darkness within me; more than the giver probably realized. I am emboldened by how simple acts of loving service can impact harder than ever in these times. To pick myself up and dig deep for this spirit to share is worth fighting for!

*I don’t know the original source of this Maya Angelou quote. It was sent to me from the Contemplative Day Book; a wonderful mailing list that emails a daily quote in support of spiritual reflection. You can sign up for it here: https://contemplativedaybook.blogspot.com/


-- Kenzo An

Contacts:

The Right Rev. Shannon MacVean-Brown, Bishop of Vermont
bishopshannon@diovermont.org

The Very Rev. Greta Getlein, Dean and Rector
ggetlein@stpaulscathedralvt.org

The Ven. J. Stannard Baker, Cathedral Deacon and Diocesan Archdeacon
   sbaker@stpaulscathedralvt.org

Mark A. DeW. Howe, Canon Precentor and Director of Music
   mhowe@stpaulscathedralvt.org

Jennifer C. Sumner, Office Administrator
   admin@stpaulscathedralvt.org

Barbara F. Comeau, Financial Administrator
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Katie Gonyaw, Children's Formation Coordinator
kgonyaw@stpaulscathedralvt.org

Grace Jack, A/V & Social Media Coordinator
gjack@stpaulscathedralvt.org