Dear Shalom Bayit community, 

Even as our hearts and minds are turned towards those in danger in Israel, I want to make sure we also remember to help Jewish women & children who are in danger right here, in their own homes, in our very community. 

As a domestic violence survivor, I’m all too familiar with the gaslighting & feelings of powerlessness that many of us are experiencing right now. I’ve been retraumatized by the justification, victim blaming, and outright denial of the sexual and physical abuse that Israeli women suffered at the hands of terrorists in the October 7 massacre. I’ve been asked to “prove that it really happened” and told that even video footage is not “valid evidence.” This reaction is not unique to the crisis in Israel: it is a universal phenomenon that happens wherever women come forward about abuse. Now more than ever, it’s time to stand up for Jewish women’s safety. 

When I was 22, I went to volunteer for a year in Tel Aviv. There I met a man who made me laugh, and feel so wanted. I fell in love and we moved in together. But it wasn't long before he started to show a much different side. His control began with subtle criticism, isolation, cutting me off from outside contact. Then his cruel words turned into violent actions, and I was trapped. When my face was visibly damaged, he kept me locked in the apartment so no one would find out. His attacks were always followed with gifts, kisses, and kind words. It felt like psychological warfare. 

When I came home to the Bay Area for winter break, my friends & family saw something was wrong. My mom told me about Shalom Bayit and encouraged me to call. I am here today because of that call. Now I’m giving back to this organization as a Board member.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In these final days of national reflection, will you please donate to support Shalom Bayit's life-saving work? You will be saving lives – like mine. 

It was precisely because Shalom Bayit is a Jewish organization that I felt at home and safe enough to seek support. There is no other agency in Northern CA that’s here for Jewish women facing abuse. When our lives are in danger, Jewish women need a place we can turn, where we don’t have to check any part of ourselves at the door. Judaism teaches that we are all responsible for one another. Women in danger at home need to know that the Jewish community will be here for them when it’s most critical. 



That’s exactly why Shalom Bayit needs our support, to keep its doors open every day for women & all survivors of intimate partner violence who need safety. 

This need does not go away even when other crises demand our attention and resources. So I am asking you to consider a generous gift today. It would mean the world to me, and help others like me whose lives will be forever changed for the good when they make that call. 

With gratitude for your support,

Dyanna Loeb 

Shalom Bayit Board Member