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October 2023

SOUL News

How I Learned to Like Grown-Ups

To piggyback on my topic last month

The Blessing of Friends

I thought I'd share how I learned to like adults.


Growing up, I found the adult world confusing, incongruent, and disappointing. Some adults were vague and passive-aggressive. Having unpleasant

or complex feelings, part of being a kid, was inconvenient.

When adults gave direction, it was usually a command, not a request.

As a child, I didn't feel seen, heard, respected or

valued much of the time. In fact, I often felt like a burden.


I am not sharing any of this as a victim.

Being born in 1966, this was the norm in child-rearing back then.

Children were to be seen and not heard.

We were expected to be obedient, well-behaved boys and girls.

We did not have a voice at the table, or opinions that mattered.

We simply did as we were told, or suffered the consequences.


This was true in many family homes, at schools and churches, and in societal and cultural norms. People and God didn't like us, and Santa wasn't coming if we mis-behaved or dared to have a voice of our own that differed from the rest.


This was the 1970's and 80's... before the 'Awakening' times we are now

living in. It was pre-Oprah and self-discovery; before the collective quest

of finding ones' 'True' Self and expression through various therapies,

recovery programs, spirituality and gurus became popular.


Some say these were the good 'ole days, but there is a huge price we

pay when we use and abuse the 'power over' model with any human being.

We are seeing the ego power-trips (attempts to get power that we felt was lacking) and messy pendulum-swinging (too permissive) effects of this now.


I no longer blame the adults of those times.

They did their best with what they knew, experienced and had.

They grew up with generational patterns, many even harsher than this.

We are hopefully, continually evolving into more inclusive, loving humans.


The loss of my birth mother as a baby, combined with my experience

and perceptions growing up, made it hard for me to trust adults,

which made it challenging for me to like and love them.

This created an US vs. THEM split inside.

Children = safe, real, honest, kind, fluid, joyous.

Adults = unsafe, fake, manipulative, mean, controlling, stoic.


My preferred place at family gatherings was always at the kids table.

I felt seen, heard and valued there. I easily understood and valued kids.


Fast forward to the year 1999, when I started teaching Kindergarten

based on my wise Mama's suggestion to switch from teaching Middle

School, where I was continually struggling to feel successful.

It was something I initially resisted thinking 5 year olds were

too immature and I didn't want to be a glorified babysitter.

I wanted a career with depth, impact and meaning.


Luckily, from the first day those little ones walked into my classroom

at Washington Elementary School in Hawthorne, California

I fell head-over-heals in LOVE!


It turns out that 5 year olds are the very best teachers

to help someone learn how to like, and even love grown-ups.


In the Love Laboratory with these littles, I came to see that each of

us carries a timid, sweet, sometimes rambunctious, creative,

caring, kind, wanna-be-liked-and-loved five year old inside.


This experience radically and forever opened my heart to Love.

It took time (10 years) and consistency, but every class was filled with such variety of personality and pizazz, grit and grace, challenge and delight...

and I so easily adored every one of my kiddos for exactly who they were.


Living in this Love Laboratory helped open my heart to being able to see,

like and love adults, as they are. It's not always as easy with adults. Judgments, hurts and projections still surface, but when I really choose

to look, I can see the innocent and tender 5 year old in anyone.


My heart expansion and continuous inner healing work has made loving everyone, even difficult grown-ups, and shadowy parts of myself, possible... eventually. I am incredibly grateful for this education in being human, seeing our preciousness, honoring our inner children and their wholeheartedness.


I experience magic in every single child (young and old) I have the privilege to interact with, and I am forever grateful for the gifts they continuously share.



If you are reading this, I like you.

And... I love you.

You can thank a 5 year old.

In fact, thank your own 5 year old self.


Because YOU are precious!


Truly,

Teri Jo

While we try to teach our children all about life,

our children teach us what life is all about.

~Angela Schwindt

YOUTUBE: A Pep Talk from Kid President (3 minutes)

Children, as persons, are entitled to the greatest respect.

Children are given to us as free-flying souls, but then we clip their wings

like we domesticate the wild mallard. Children should become the

role-models for us, their parents, for they are coated with the spirit from

which they came- out of the ether, clean, innocent, brimming with the

delight of life, aware of the beauty of the simplest thing; a snail, a bud…

~Gerry Spence

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow,

yet we forget that he is someone today.

~Stacia Tauscher

YOUTUBE: Lessons From Kids (3 minutes)

A person’s a person no matter how small.

~Dr. Seuss

The ORGANIZED Corner

This is where I share about my Home Organizing business - a tip or trick,

a client story, a win or struggle as a Soulo business owner.


TIP: Your ideal closet should only contain items you love and use. Everything should have a home. Clothes on hangers. Shoes on shoe racks. Purses, Belts, Scarfs, bulky sweaters - all practically and pleasingly placed. Create a routine you love that includes putting things away daily.


Do you need help decluttering and redesigning your closet?

Looking for a better 'getting ready' routine you will enjoy and follow?

If so, email me here and let's set up a free consultation

Give to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself. ~Thomas Paine

YOUTUBE: Toddler Advice on Getting Along (3 minutes)

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age,

which means never losing your enthusiasm.

~Aldous Huxley

Got clutter? Paper piles? An overflowing inbox? Not enough time?

Call me at 310-907-6846 to book your free consultation

terijowheeler.com

Inspirational SOUL of the Month

Meet Dipika Patel. I first met Dipika a year ago in a women's circle at the Spiritual Center of the Desert. I immediately noticed her genuine caring and sincere engagement with women in the circle. I beamed with delight at the possibility of her becoming my new friend. I went up to her and told her I appreciated how kind she was and that I would love to meet for a coffee. We exchanged numbers and met for coffee soon after. Dipika is present, wise and refreshing to be with. We both have a deep devotion to spiritual and personal growth. 


Recently, I asked Dipika to tell me more about what she does for work. She's a wellness practitioner, a healer, body worker, nutritionist, reiki master and more. I booked some time with her and went for my first session. It was AMAZING!!! The best body work I ever remember experiencing. There was so much depth, energy and healing that came through her heart and hands. I felt like my body had been starving for this kind of attention. I left feeling sore, but so happy and fully nourished. I am excited to do more sessions with Dipika and highly recommend her magic.


Find out more about her at LoveYourLifeHealthy.com

Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.

~Lady Bird Johnson

Our Beloved Teachers, Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick have announced they are retiring. You can read about it here. I've been crying frequently since getting this news - some tears of grief, many more of profound awe and gratitude for the gifts I and countless others have been blessed to receive these past 40+ years of Soul-centered education with them. We love you Ron and Mary.

USM Video: Love is the Healer (9 Minutes)

We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible.

To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple,

obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.

~Thomas Moore

Series Rec: Ugly Betty (I love this show!)

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

~E.E. Cummings

Need Home, Project, Paper or Digital Organizing?
Book a free Consultation today.
TeriJoWheeler.com

Respecting a child teaches them that even the smallest, most powerless,

most vulnerable person is worthy of respect. And that is a lesson

our world desperately needs to learn.

~L.R. Knost

A SONG 4 U: 'Return to Innocence' by Enigma

Wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything?

~Unknown

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