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Pride,
As you saw in our previous communication, the Riverwalk Academy community is grieving the loss of one of our classmates. This is the first time that this has happened at Riverwalk Academy, and there are lots of feelings of uncertainty. When there is a loss like this, it's difficult to know what to do. Managing your own sadness, confusion, anger, or worry in addition to that of your child can be quite overwhelming.
To help you, and to help all of us, I'd like to share a few things that you can do to help your child when grieving a classmate:
1 - You Cannot Fix Their Heartbreak
As parents, we tend to want to fix everything for our kids. In situations like this, we can't fix it. It's important to listen and "meet kids where they are," meaning you allow them the space and freedom to express their emotions whenever and however they come out.
Be supportive, and don't expect them to grieve the same way that you do.
2 - Grief Can Come In Waves
Grief tends to come in waves. Days, weeks, or even years can go by where we feel fine, and then something can trigger a memory and all of a sudden we are a mess again. It's all part of the process.
It is crucial to deal with grief as it comes. The worst thing you can do for yourself or your kids is try and shove all of those emotions aside and insist that your grieving is done.
3- Don't Avoid or Ignore their Pain
In reality, no one knows what to say or do in situations like this but I've always believed that it is best to reach out to people. If they don't want your help, they will tell you, but there is no harm in offering.
Simple phrases such as, "I am so sorry for your loss," "I have been thinking about you," "I am here for you if you need anything," and simply, "What can we do?" are all pretty safe options.
4 - Make Space for Normalcy
Kids need to get back to normal. Allowing for this is healthy and part of the grieving process.
Pride, it's going to be an emotional week, but with everyone's support, and a whole lot of grace, we will heal.
Please keep the Doehling Family and our school community in your thoughts and prayers.
~Dr. Compton
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