Assertive Engagement Newsletter 

September 2022

Over the past 3 months the Assertive Engagement Community of Ongoing Practice (AE COOP) has taken the dive into exploring one of the more challenging tenets of AE. Conflict.


This important section was included into the AE training as a response to you all and the challenges our community of contracted providers experienced on a daily basis. 


Facilitators of the AE training received real and valid questions like:


“How can I hold empathy for someone who is screaming in my face?”


“How can I use constructive judgment to keep myself safe while making space for folks to show valid expressions of anger?” 


Many of us have been socialized from very early on to treat conflict as something to be avoided and therefore discord makes us uncomfortable. As we discovered in the AE trainings and in the AE COOP- many of us would rather not engage or think about conflict. After reframing the stigma attached to conflict, we committed to approaching conversations about discord as important learning opportunities. The journey to explore more starts here.


We engaged in a self assessment of conflict management styles. We grounded ourselves in self reflection while discussing times we engaged in conflict; this included recalling what reactions we did or didn’t have in the moment. With the knowledge of our own conflict management leanings we engaged in a strengths based visual collaboration activity in Mural, taking the time to list all the unique strengths inherent to each conflict management style. We all have the capacity to float through these different conflict management styles, but the assessment highlighted which conflict style we might lean towards most often.


We wrapped up Part 3 of our Journey with Conflict, by incorporating a beautiful resource called Turning Towards Each Other: A Conflict Workbook. While the conflict management assessment by Dr. Adkins was useful in identifying how one engages in conflict and the actions one takes during conflict situations- it did little to connect us to our mindset and heart set while in conflict. We engaged in discussions, mindfulness activities, and scenarios to discover what it looks like for us to be grounded in conflict vs. ungrounded and reactionary. We learned the strengths that come from our own conflict archetype (Turning Towards Each Other, Page 12) and how to honor our own needs while making space for others who might have different needs in the moment. 


This work will undoubtedly be fruitful when we meet discord in our work with clients, coworkers, and loved ones. With the support of the AE COOP, we plan to use pieces of this work in future AE 101 trainings. A big shoutout to Jennifer Lasko, Amy Manley, Nam Kennedy and Adam Yang for being key to this journey with us. We appreciate you all!


The Assertive Engagement Team,


Rhea & Helen

Conflict Resources

Turning Towards Each Other: A Conflict Workbook

Working in a group means you are going to experience conflict. This workbook helps you explore different conflict archetypes, what habits can undermine trust, and examine patterns that lead to conflict. What we like about this workbook is it also guides you though having Courageous Conversations, resourcing yourself, identifying strengths to draw from during conflict, and outlines honoring your needs. Follow the link to download the workbook for free.

“The Best Things in Life are on the Other Sides of Difficult Conversations”  


Check out Kwame Christian's TedX talk on addressing conflict with Compassionate Curiosity here.


Upcoming virtual training opportunities


October

  • Day 1 Tuesday, October 4th, 9am - 2pm
  • Day 2 Thursday, October 6th, 9am - 2pm
  • Day 3 Tuesday, October 11th, 9am - 2pm
  • Day 4 Thursday, October 13th, 9am - 2pm

Full - Registration closed!


November

  • Day 1 Tuesday, November 8th, 9am - 2pm
  • Day 2 Thursday, November 10th, 9am - 2pm
  • Day 3 Tuesday, November 15th, 9am - 2pm
  • Day 4 Wednesday, November 16th, 9am - 2pm

Register Here!


**Please note staff must be able to attend all the training sessions to complete the training. Space is limited.**

AE Community of Ongoing Practice


What is a Community of Ongoing Practice?


A group of people who share a common interest and interact often to learn from each other and advance their work. 


The AE Community of Ongoing Practice (COOP) exists as a space to continue deepening one's understanding of the Assertive Engagement core concepts and practices. This space is co-created with the AE Facilitation team and many amazing folks who have taken the AE 101 training. We explore AE topics and skills at greater depth, engaging in new training workshops, activities, and discussions pertinent to our work with clients in the community. 


The next AE COOP meeting will focus on Ambivalence in AE and takes place virtually via Zoom on:

October 27th, 2:30 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.


Sign up here to join our community of practice email list and get updates on future programming and events. 

Question of the Month

What are the qualities you possess that support you when in conflict? 

When you are in conflict, where do you feel it in your body?
Neck
Face
Shoulders
Tummy
Jaw
Somewhere else

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