Assertive Engagement Newsletter

January 2025

Hello and happy new year,

Janus, after whom January is named, was the Roman god of beginnings and endings. Often depicted with two faces, one facing the past and one the future, with the ability to see both forwards and backwards, inside and outside, without turning around. It's only fitting then that this January we explore the topic of ambivalence, feeling two different ways about the same thing at the same time. Like wanting to start off the new year eating healthy, but craving heavy comfort foods in the cold dark winter. In the Assertive Engagement world, I have ambivalence about how successful our video modules have been. Folks are able to take the training and get certified at their own pace and we've finally been able to keep up with demand for our training, but on the other hand I miss the longer live training sessions where we got to take more time with the learning cohort and develop deeper relationships with our learning community.

We are looking at ambivalence now, in this time of change and upheaval, to recognize that ambivalence is a part of the human experience, and even has some benefits. That it is just fine to not know one way or the other. It is ok to want to be informed about what is happening in the world and also to disconnect. You are not the only person to love your family but also need some space. We all struggle with wanting to make a change while still finding comfort in what's familiar. Maybe you want to read this newsletter but have to run to a meeting. Perfectly normal! Come back when you have time.

Warm wishes from your newsletter team,

Helen

“The world is not made up of particles and waves and beams of light with a definite existence. Instead, the world works in a much more exploratory way. It is aware of all the possibilities at once and trying them out all the time. That is a hard thing to picture.”

— Neil Turok

Ambivalence

In Assertive Engagement, we embrace ambivalence as part of the human condition. We feel ambivalence about minor decisions like fries or salad as our side, as well as with larger issues like caring for aging parents with health issues at home or putting them in an assisted living facility. Sometimes we move from ambivalence to making a decision quickly, like calling a cab instead of driving after a few drinks, even though we don't really want to leave our car. Other times that ambivalence lingers for months or years, like whether to stay in a job you're happy with but wish paid more, or leave for a position with a bigger paycheck but less of a work/life balance. While ambivalence is part of the human condition, there are some of us who spend more time weighing both sides and feel conflicted about many topics.

Professor Iris Schneider describes people who see the positive and negative sides to many things and feel conflicted in many ways as being high in "trait ambivalence." While seeing both sides of things may make navigating decisions difficult, there are also positive aspects.

Being less impulsive. If you weigh the pros and cons before making decisions, you're less likely to rush to judgment and make a rash decision.

Being more open-minded. Things aren't just black and white, right and wrong. When you hold in your mind the benefits about opposing sides, you see the complexities and depth of issues.

Fairer in our judgments of others and ourselves. If we are seeing people, actions, and choices as multi-layered and nuanced, then we are not as quick to judge people for their actions. We also give ourselves more grace, knowing we did the best we could with the information at hand.

In his book, On Second Thought, How Ambivalence Shapes Your Life, William R. Miller writes, "Life would not be improved by eradicating ambivalence. Perceiving, considering, and choosing among alternative futures is a remarkable ability and responsibility of humankind and is a defining characteristic of democracies."

Next time you find yourself in a place of ambivalence, know that you are taking care to weigh your options and considering your position before acting. If you find someone else is experiencing ambivalence, try not to weigh in with your opinion, but rather ask them more about how they feel about both sides of the issue. Sometimes just digging deeper will help the best choice reveal itself.

Learn More

Everybody Reads 2025

Javier Zamora's Solita

If your goal is to read more this year, why not start with the 2025 Everybody Reads selection, Solito, by Javier Zamora. Solito is an account of Zamora’s 3,000-mile journey from El Salvador to the United States when he was nine years old. His crossing involved perilous boat trips and relentless desert treks during two life-altering months alongside a group of strangers who became an unexpected family.

Check out the book and learn about Everybody Reads events organized by the Multnomah County Library.

Learn More

Black History Month Events

Black History Month begins soon and we wanted to highlight a few events around town so you can begin planning now.

Through the Trees Collective has multiple events in February around the Portland metro area. Visit their site to learn more.

Through the Trees Events

Oregon Black Pioneers - 450 years in 45 mins

Come learn about the 450-year history of Black pioneers in Oregon in just 45 minutes - it's a fast-paced journey you won't want to miss!

In this live webinar, Shirley Moody-Turner will discuss her biography-in-progress on trailblazing Black educator, Anna Julia Cooper, and her recent Washington Post article, “Punished for Leading: How the Black Female Head of a DC School was Punished for Leading.” She’ll examine what was at stake in the battles over Black education at the turn and into the twentieth century and how the national ascendency of Jim Crow segregation played out in the local politics affecting the lives of Black Washingtonians. Most importantly, she’ll explore Anna Julia Cooper’s “Courageous Revolt” against Jim Crow education and show how Cooper was punished for carrying out the work she was hired to do. (Please note this event is 10:00a.m. - 11:00 a.m. PST)

Additional Resources

Foundations of Human Trafficking Training

January is National Slavery & Human Trafficking Prevention Month. If you don't know much about this topic and would like to learn more, there is a free webinar on January 30 which will examine the historical underpinnings of human trafficking, current problem/trends, definitions, and indicators. This topic will be presented from a multidisciplinary approach, focused mainly on the U.S. and layering on a global perspective.

Multnomah County Common Application Program

Multnomah County has created a Common Services Application to help people apply for up to 18 community programs. Now, you can use just one application to apply for as many programs as you want at one time, if you meet the basic requirements.

Learn More and Apply

An illustration with three people. The person on the left has brown skin, short dark hair in a bob cut, yellow overalls and orange shirt and is looking off in the distance holding a magnifying lens. The person in the center has tan skin, a dark green dress, white bun and is looking straight ahead through binoculars. The erson on the right has light skin, yellow shirt and orange pants and short brown hair and is looking off into the distance with a hand to their brow.

Question(s) of the Month

What is something in your life you are ambivalent about? Do you want to reach a resolution, or are you ok seeing both sides?

Share your ideas with us at aeinfo@multco.us!

January Poll

What helps you shift from a place of ambivalence to making a decision one way or another?

Choose one:

Making a list of pros and cons for both sides

Researching the topic

Talking with friends and seeing what they think

Meditating or praying about the issue

Make a decision? I live on the fence!

Avoid it until it resolves itself

December Poll Results

Last month we asked what you are grateful for right now and here's what you told us:

My family 46%

My pet 23%

My health 15%

My friends 8%

My faith 8%

Gratitude can be practiced anytime, what are you grateful for right now? Taking even 5 seconds to think of something or someone you appreciate and picture them can help shift your perspective.

Thanks to everyone who completed our poll last month!

AE COOP Info

Community of Ongoing Practice

(COOP)

February's COOP topic is self-compassion. Many of us work in the helping professions because we hold a lot of compassion for others: family, friends, clients, colleagues. Sometimes we forget to give ourselves the same grace. By engaging in self-compassion, we enhance our connection to ourselves and others. Join us to discuss and share self-compassion strategies for better mental and physical health.

Next COOP Session Virtual

Self-Compassion

February 27

2:30 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.

What is a Community of Ongoing Practice?

A group of people who share a common interest and interact often to learn from each other and advance their work. It is open to all, but is most valuable to folks who have already completed the Assertive Engagement 101 training and are seeking ongoing refreshers of the curriculum, supplemental training to deepen their understanding of AE core concepts, and community building with AE practitioners.

AE Blended

Learning Course

Assertive Engagement certification is now available to contracted community partners via our Blended Learning Video Series

Community partners are able to register for six self-paced video learning modules to watch when and where it works for you.

After successful completion of the e-learning modules, you'll enroll in a four-hour Skills Practice & Demonstration Workshop where you'll actively practice Assertive Engagement skills in community with other AE learners. Upon successful completion of the workshop and e-learning modules, you'll become AE certified!

We hope by offering training in this format we can better meet the needs of our learning community. Thank you all for your patience as we've developed and launched this training series!

For now we are offering the training to community partners who contract with Multnomah County's Department of Human Services (DCHS) and the Joint Office of Homeless Services (JOHS). If you work with one of our contracted partners, please visit our website to register.

Upcoming Skills Practice and Demonstration Session dates:

Tuesday, February 4th, 8:30am-12:30pm

Thursday, February 13th, 1pm-5pm

Tuesday, February 18th, 8:30am-12:30pm

Thursday, February 20th, 1pm-5pm

(CEUs offered for this training)

Tuesday, March 4th, 8:30am-12:30pm

Thursday, March 6th, 1pm-5pm

Tuesday, March 18th, 8:30am-12:30pm

Thursday, March 20th, 1pm-5pm