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Celebrating Life,
Empowering People,
Caring for One Another,
Helping to Build a Better World
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UUCSR Newsletter
October 2022
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In This Issue
Click “View Entire Message” if Sections Are Missing
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- Services in October
- Message from Your Minister
- Message from Your Board President
- Message from the Treasurer
- Religious Education
- From 8th Principle Task Force: An Accident of Birth
- From CUUPs: Samhain
- From Right Relations Team
- Community Conversations
- Adult Education
- Social Groups & Events
- Committees & Working Groups
- North Bay Organizing Project
- Soul Matters
- UUCSR Covid Policy
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Please Consider Visiting the
Thank You for Your Support!
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Service in October:
Courage
Sundays, 10:30-11:45 am PST
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Transformation & The Days of Awe
October 2nd
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In Jewish traditions, the 10 days starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur are known as the "Days of Awe." This period is part of the Jewish High Holidays, a time of profound introspection, repair and action. This morning we'll explore some of the themes and spiritual invitations that are part of this season. How can we take honest stock of our lives? How can we restore deeper relationships to self, other, and the sacred? Rev. Dara Olandt is a UU minister of Jewish heritage and practice. Her writing has been featured in "Jewish Voices in Unitarian Universalism" (Skinner House, 2014). She formerly served as Assistant Minister at UUCSR and is delighted to return as a guest worship leader today.
Service Leader: Guest Minister Rev. Dara Olandt
Worship Associates: Richard Senghas
Music: Sally Jones, Karen Naumann & Roger Corman
Share the Basket: Saturday Breakfast with Our Neighbors
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How Do We Conquer Our Fears And What Does Courage Have to Do With It?
October 9th
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Courage when focused can help us to have triumph over our fears. "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."- Nelson Mandela
Service Leader: Rev. Dave Clements
Worship Associate: Judy Withee
Music: Gage Purdy with The Choir & Robert Howseman & Roger Corman
Share the Basket: NBOP North Bay Organizing Project
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What is Another Meaning of Courage?
October 16th
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Some common synonyms of courage are mettle, resolution, spirit, and tenacity. While all these words mean "mental or moral strength to resist opposition, danger, or hardship," courage implies firmness of mind and will in the face of danger or extreme difficulty.
Service Leaders: Rev. Dave Clements
Worship Associate: Clare Whitfield
Music: Robin Rogers and Roger Corman
Share the Basket: Saturday Breakfast with Our Neighbors
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What are Acts of Courage?
October 23rd
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15 Everyday Acts of Courage
• Saying sorry. It takes courage to admit when you are wrong....
• Be yourself and own it. Don't imitate anyone....
• Take responsibility and accountability....
• Keep your commitments and make goals....
• Have a voice and say no....
• Let go and forgive....
• Grow and learn....
• Listen and be present.
Service Leader: Rev. Dave Clements
Worship Associate: Eric Fisher
Music: Gage Purdy with The Choir & Roger Corman
Share the Basket: Planned Parenthood Northern California
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Honoring Our Ancestors
October 30th
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An Invitation Into the Mystery of Life, Death and the Afterlife. Samhain, All Saint’s Day, All Hallows Eve, Dios de los Muertos - many cultures recognize that this is the time of the year when the veil between the worlds grows ‘thin” and we can connect with loved ones that have moved on from this life. Today we honor loved ones who have past. Today we come into the “Thin Place.”
Please bring a memento of one of your ancestors, as we build an altar to honor them.
Service Leader: Rev Bev Spears
Worship Associate: Linda Lampson
Music: Gage Purdy & Alan Bell & Roger Corman
Share the Basket: Ceres Community Project
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From the Minister's Desk
Reverend David Clements
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We are all part of the tapestry
This past summer I had the rare privilege to travel to Romania and meet with several Unitarian ministers who lead congregations in Romania. I toured several Unitarian churches, some were over 200 years old. Many had tapestries that hung on their walls. As I listened to the local Unitarian Ministers talk about the history of their buildings and their members I was struck with the thought of how, just as the tapestries hanging on their walls tell a story, the members of their congregations make up a tapestry that is living and active.
I learned of the sacrifices and the struggles that these early Unitarians had endured and experienced. I learned of how during the communist years of leadership in their government they still kept meeting as a community. They endured and today these same congregations are thriving.
I am listening to many of your stories and am beginning to understand how many of you are the framework for the tapestry that is UUCSR. Your commitment, sacrifices and willingness to step up is the reason that UUCSR is still here today. I know many of you were part of the original group that moved here from Stony Point. Many of you have had a part in building and maintaining UUCSR.
The tapestry that all of you are a part of does tell a story. In spite of hardships, disappointments and broken trust you are still here. This speaks volumes of who you are. This is a dedicated group of people who want the best for UUCSR. I am here at this time to help you to create a new tapestry, a new chapter. I invite you all to join me on this exciting journey of discovery as we refine our roles, responsibilities and accountability to each other and to our UU faith. We will make mistakes but we will learn together. That is the value of being in a community.
This month our worship theme is Courage. I look forward to getting to know more of you and hearing your stories and your place in this tapestry. May we all move forward together in creating a place where we can fully support each other.
Sincerely,
Rev. Dave Clements
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President's Message
Leslie Norinsky
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Dear Fellow Congregants:
This month was the start of our new church year, and all members of the board have entered our meetings with hopefulness and gratitude for our awesome community! We had our board retreat at the beginning of September. It was such a nice, calm, and also fun experience.
As an icebreaker, we played Two Truths and a Lie and you can’t imagine what came out of it! Guess which board member:
Skinny-dipped in Lake Tahoe (actually, two board members, on separate occasions and in different decades)
Danced with Princess Anne (and I was told that it wasn’t a date)
Didn’t graduate from high school (well, they skipped it)
Oh, there’s more…but I won’t divulge any more secrets yet!
On a more serious note, the board did come up with some goals for the year, and I will be reporting out progress towards these goals in future newsletters. We did present these goals at our September 11, In Gathering service, but I write them here for your information. All our efforts will be guided by the mission of our congregation- to celebrate life, to empower people, to care for one another, and to do our best to help build a better world. Here are the goals we identified:
Communication
From the board to the congregation
From the congregation to the board
Both in formal and informal ways
Financial Stewardship (including fundraising and spending wisely)
Engagement and Energy and Investment in our future (the below is not necessarily in order of priority)
8th Principle and Antiracism
Promoting volunteerism
Nurturing families and a focus on youth
Healing
Fun
Visibility in the greater SR community, and in the greater UU community
Updating policies, procedures, bylaws
There are already some efforts in place to address some of these goals. We are starting to gather people together in task forces:
Two small Communications taskforces, one of which will look at the technical aspects of communication and the other will look at content aspects. There will be some emphasis on updating our website, and in producing a Communications policy for our community.
We are continuing our task force to update, organize, and digitize our policies. This group will also be looking at policies from other UU churches.
There will be a Bylaws task force. So much great work has been done with bylaws in the past. Thank you so much, former Bylaws committees! And now, our bylaws are in dire need of updating and revision.
We are creating a fundraising committee to look at unique ways to bring in more funds so that we can fully live out our values. We will emphasize reaching out to the greater community, networking to create more visibility for our faith as we work to create a better world. And, we will celebrate life and take care of one another within our community with some fun fundraising activities.
We, the board, are excited about our incredible staff and volunteers. We have lived through a difficult year, but there is so much hope for our future. We struggle with our past, and we will each come to terms with what we have experienced at our own pace. We are hoping that more of us will come forward to volunteer. We will need full engagement to rebuild this community together. We can build back better (catchy phrase, please excuse my weird sense of humor).
In peace,
Leslie
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Message from the Treasurer
Linda Balabanian
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“I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.”
― Abraham Lincoln
Roof Update!
Thank you, beloved community, for your incredible generosity! Your donations are going to keep us warm and dry. We have attained our goal and have collected over $57,000 plus the full $50,000 match we received from our generous anonymous donor. We have wrapped up this campaign and hope that a couple of outstanding promises come in soon. Thank you so much!!!
Inflation Relief Checks from the State
In October, most Californians will start receiving checks from the State for between $200 and $350 to help us cope with rising prices. For some of us, this will be a great help in our day-to-day life. If, however, you are fortunate enough to be able to share these additional funds, please consider donating to one or more of your favorite non-profits. One easy way to spread your donation is through our Share the Basket on Sundays. Please consider it, if you can.
Important Information for Committee Chairs
Our financial policy requires the Committee Chair to authorize requests for reimbursement from volunteers who purchase supplies. You can make the authorization by signing the reimbursement form submitted by the volunteer or by sending an email authorization to the volunteer and Aphrodite, our Administrator at administrator@uusantarosa.org. Physical forms that have been authorized should be placed in the Bookkeeper's mail slot. Volunteers who make these purchases - please notify the Committee Chair that you are submitting the request for reimbursement for their approval and either put it in the Committee mail slot in the work room or ask for an email authorization.
-Linda Balabanian, co-Treasurer
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Religious Education
Era Capone
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Happy October everyone!
The congregational year is now well underway, and RE is back in full force! You may not be seeing many children and youth during Time For All Ages, but that's because they're participating in our many other RE programs. From K-1 OWL to Coming of Age to UU Parenting, children and their families have been joining us at UUCSR in lots of new and exciting ways. If your child or youth is interested in getting involved in some of our upcoming programs aside from traditional RE, take a look at what's going on this month in Religious Education!
- Nursery Care
- Every Sunday, 10:45-11:45am
- Youth Group
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Petaluma Pumpkin Patch, Saturday, October 8th, 9:30-1:30pm
- Sunday, October 9th, 12:00-1:30pm
- Sunday, October 23rd, 12:00-1:30pm
- Beginner D&D
- Sunday, October 2nd, 2:00-3:30pm
- Sunday, October 16th, 2:00-3:30pm
- Sunday, October 30th, 2:00-3:30pm
- Advanced D&D
- Sunday, October 9th, 2:00-5:00pm
- Sunday, October 23rd, 2:00-5:00pm
- Parents' Night Out
- Friday, October 21st, 5:00-8:00pm
If you'd like to learn more about RE, check out our weekly newsletter or contact me directly at dre@uusantarosa.org. There's always room for more in the RE Wing, whether you're a child, youth, parent, or volunteer! |
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Sunday, October 2nd - Toolbox of Values: Questioning
This session focuses on the value of questioning assumptions and wondering, "Why?" The children hear about astronomer and Unitarian Maria Mitchell, who embodied the truth-seeking quality of Unitarian faith in both her spiritual and scientific life. They'll add the magnifying glass to their toolbox this week, which symbolizes questioning and looking deeper.
Sunday, October 9th - Toolbox of Values: Integrity
This session provides opportunities for the children of RE to reflect on the directional compass as a symbol for our inner moral compass. Children will explore how we listen to our inner voices, identify times when we feel our moral compass swinging toward truth, and articulate how that feels. They'll learn that discerning what is right is often not easy.
Sunday, October 16th - Toolbox of Values: Flexibility
This session provides opportunities for the kids of RE to reflect on the value and qualities of developing an open mind and a flexible faith. Kids will discuss how, as Unitarian Universalists, there is an expectation of change and flexibility in one's understandings and beliefs, and will consider what it means to live with changeable answers.
Sunday, October 23rd - Toolbox of Values: Reflection
In this session, kids will explore physical reflection and to consider the tool of reflection in our faith. They'll discuss when, where, and how we take the time to listen inside ourselves for a still, small voice.
Sunday, October 30th - Halloween Celebration!
This Sunday, the kids of RE are celebrating Halloween! Kids will be invited to wear their costumes, and in RE will hear a Halloween story, play Halloween games, decorate pumpkins, and even get some special treats.
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8th Principle Task Force: An Accident of Birth
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How different would my life be today, at 82 years old, had I been born to different parents. As it is, I am able to look over my life as one in which I could realize many of my dreams, do work I have loved, lived comfortably enough, and rarely felt the sting of discrimination. I was born as the only child of two white parents; a mother who was able to stay at home, a father who earned enough to support us and various cats and dogs, in a predominantly white community in Southern California.
My mother was free to focus on the home, including focusing on my growth, without the demands of contributing to the financial support of our family. I grew up in a neighborhood in which the kids could roam freely and safely, on bikes, romping through vacant lots. At the end of the day, we would hear the mother deemed to have the loudest voice in the neighborhood (Ruth) yell for her son – just his name, “Joel”, and that was our signal to get home for supper. It was a rich childhood, full of exploration and adventure.
When high school was ended, I was able to attend a private university thanks to my parent’s financial stability. Fast forward a bit; undergraduate school, then grad-school, then internship in my chosen profession, psychotherapy. Married with two children, and living in San Francisco, I ran a family support drop-in center in the Haight, down the street from a family shelter. The center was a place where parents could come to take a break, have a cup of coffee, have their children cared for in a wonderful playroom, and where, if they chose, they could participate in a variety of support groups.
I worked both seeing folks individually and teaching court ordered parenting classes for parents whose children had been removed from their homes. I began hearing stories of lives I couldn’t imagine; the impact of rough childhoods, never enough resources, racism, uneven health care, kids being treated poorly by teachers and more privileged children, parents working morning to night, and latch key kids. Among those coming to the center were formerly incarcerated people. That’s when I got angry. The “how could this be” kept hitting me in the head and in my heart. I got a crash course in racism, sexism, and all the other isms/aspects of self, that define our dominant culture. All of these giving power to those at the “valued” end of the continuum, and deeming those on the other end as being of little worth. Since then, social justice and a striving for equity, has been a centerpiece of my life.
My work on the 8th Principle Task Force is a natural step for me. The 8th Principle holds out the promise of evening-out some of the inequities our dominant culture creates. I ask myself, by what right is there such a discrepancy? How is it that we seem to see ourselves so impossibly separate from one another? It seems to be, pure and simple an accident of birth, as a result of which, we have our destiny nearly pre-ordained for us. We do not need to stay stuck in what was. We can move in the direction of valuing all, with no qualifiers, no stops along the way in our dominant culture hierarchy.
From Isabel Wilkerson, Caste, p.387-388
“None of us chose the circumstances of our birth. We had nothing to do with having been born into privilege or under stigma…we are responsible for what good or ill we do to people alive with us today. We are, each one of us, responsible for every decision we make that hurts or harms another human being.”
Jeanie Bates
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There may be times when you feel the need for the support of a caring listener and your Lay Chaplains are available to anyone with a need. We don’t have to carry our burdens or celebrate our joys alone, and one benefit of having a beloved community is having support when it is needed.
In addition to reaching out to a Lay Chaplain, you may add your personal joys and sorrows to the Milestones Book (on the stand just outside the sanctuary door) to be shared during the Sunday Service. You may also email your milestones to laychaplains@uusantarosa.org by Saturday morning so they can be included in the Sunday Service.
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From CUUPs: Samhain
-Mark Green
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In the arc of the Pagan wheel of the year, October is the time leading up to Samhain or Hallows (the midpoint between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice). It is, of course, the time when we all go a little crazy with spooky décor and witchy aesthetic, leading up to Halloween night, although the actual midpoint is around Nov. 7th.
October is a time when we contemplate mortality and memory, remembering those who have died and our ancestors leading back into the mists of time. The skulls and bones and spider webs remind us that we are here only for a limited time, and will also one day be only memories in the minds of those who survive us.
This is important, because on Planet Earth, death is the means to life. Every organism is created, grows and survives by taking into itself component parts which were once something else alive. It is the very miracle of Life on Earth, this death, and though we fear our own endings we understand that in the end, the ride is worth the price of the ticket.
We Pagans understand that death is a natural process and prefer to look squarely at it, rather than avoiding it as so many in mainstream culture do. As the year ages and the leaves begin to fall, many of us find it an appropriate time to do the work to make our deaths as easy for our loved ones as possible: to complete wills, health directives, wishes for disposal of our bodies and so forth. Having all of this information in a readily accessible place is a great gift we can give to our loved ones, so they don’t have to scramble around looking for it while mourning. If this is something that appeals to you, there is a workbook you can download at https://atheopaganism.wordpress.com/2018/10/07/a-gift-from-the-dying/
For many Pagans, honoring of ancestors is a big part of their spiritual practice, not only at this time of the year, but throughout it. Others may struggle with embracing ancestors whose deeds weren’t very worthy, but there is always more ancestry to point to: that very first finned fish that “walked” up on land to escape a predator or seek food, or that first homo erectus that figured out how to manage fire. Our heritage is filled with remarkable accomplishments; there is always something to celebrate, for each of us.
May the eerie month of October bless you with reflection and memory!
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From Our Right Relations Team
-A Reflection by Cathie Wiese
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Joining our UUCSR Right Relations Team has motivated me to do some deep thinking about the impact my actions, reactions, assumptions, and interactions have on building or straining Right Relations with my community and those for whom I care deeply. I decided to do a deep dive into the UUA website to see what I could find on this subject, and came upon a list of questions posed as a measure of acting in Right Relation as a congregation, and, for me personally. You can find this list if you Google UUA Leader Lab. I have chosen a few of the 18 to list here:
- Am I assuming the good intentions of the other?
- Am I communicating directly with the person with whom I am having an issue?
- Am I resolving issues or am I spreading them through gossip, anger and/or frustration?
- Am I actively listening to what others are saying and not formulating a response or the next comment or question while they are talking?
- Can I let go of my need to control the situation?
- Am I willing not to have to be right?
- And finally, can I remember to ask the question, “What is the most loving thing I can do or say right now?”
These may seem obvious foundations for building Right Relations, but in my experience, they often can be forgotten in the heat of emotion. I decided to make a copy of the list and pin it on my bulletin board for a ready reminder.
I leave you with a poem……I find in it a peaceful place.
Out Beyond Ideas of Wrongdoing and Rightdoing
By Rumi
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn’t make any sense.
If you would like to contact a member of the Right Relations Team with any concern, question, or other issue, remember that we respect confidentiality of all matters before the team. Call or emails us:
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This is a new project which features your questions about anything related to our congregation, UUCSR. It works like this:
● You submit your question to us.
● We locate someone who can provide an answer.
● We come together as a community in a gathering, hear the questions and answers, engage in a bit of discussion as we are so moved.
There are several options for submitting questions to us:
● Email your question to: communityconversations@uusantarosa.org
● Send your question directly to one of us:
David Reitzell - dreitzell@sbcglobal.net
Judy Ervice - judy.ervice@gmail.com
Jeanie Bates - jeaniebmft@gmail.com
● THE BOX: present in the Social Hall on Sundays, you may place
your questions in the big orange box
Tentative Date of Next Conversation November 6th
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WELL UNTIL THE END: A 3 Session Class Based on “The Art of Dying Well” by Katy Butler
PRESENTER: Louise Bettner, Ph.D.
DATES: Sunday October 16, 2022 from 1:30-3:00 pm
Sunday October 30, 2022 from 1:30-3:00 pm
Sunday November 20, 2022 from 1:30-3:00 pm
LOCATION: Board Room
COURSE DESCRIPTION:
Have you ever wished for a “guidebook” to help you navigate the final years of your life? Perhaps you’ve wondered how to creatively adapt to life’s changes so you can experience a “good death” when your time comes? “The Art of Dying Well” is our roadmap for this course. With the presenter’s guidance, the class will highlight key issues from the book such as knowing your medical risks and rights, having necessary legal paperwork in place, self care strategies, collaboration with medical providers and caregivers, and financial planning for your later years. We will also explore downsizing and simplification, making peace with loss and our mortality, plus deciding how much to treat, including palliative care and Hospice. There will be plenty of time for discussion. It is recommended, but not essential, that participants read “The Art of Dying Well” prior to the course.
Louise Bettner is a retired clinical psychologist/educator who specialized in issues of Aging and Long Term Care. She has over a decade of experience as a nursing home consultant.
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In this month's newsletter:
- Adult Education
- Book Group
- Men's Groups
- Men's Group Picnic in the Park
- CUUPS
- Older and Bolder Women's Group
- Saturday Breakfast
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Committees &
Working Groups
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In this month's newsletter:
- Volunteer Stewardship Opportunities
- Membership Committee
- Ushers & Greeters
- Caring Connections Committee
- Flower Committee
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UUCSR Event Calendar
Check Out the Calendar for Important Event Dates
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UUCSR Events:
- Elder Tales 10/1
- Saturday Workday 10/1
- Memorial for Charles Rettke 10/2
- Getting to Know UU Class 10/9
- Swing Dance, Saturday Breakfast Fundraiser 10/15
- Adult Ed Class, Well Until the End 10/16, 10/30, 11/20
Glaser Center Events:
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UC Master Gardener Program 40th Anniversary Lecture 10/19 Link HERE
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World Affairs Council of Sonoma County "Election '22" 10/25 Link HERE
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North Bay Organizing Project
NBOP is Helping Us Raise Our Voices
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Deep Democracy—Election 2022!
Help shape the future of Sonoma County! Join the NBOP Deep Democracy team as we engage potential voters and leaders ahead of the November Midterm election.
We’ll be doing outreach by phone, by text, and door-to-door canvassing in Sonoma County.
Besides participating in a thriving democracy, it’s a great way to get involved locally (plus, it’s fun). No previous experience is required. We will train up together.
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Soul Matters
September: Courage
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There are still openings for new Soul Matters groups! Come, start your path on being Courageous in Community with small group connection!
Contact Katie Trieller for information:
707-291-2666
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The Health Advisory Team UUCSR Pandemic Policy
Updated June 2022
- VACCINATION REQUIRED FOR ENTRY TO SERVICES or Negative test within 24 hours
- Adequate vaccination = 2 mRNA vaccines plus booster or 2 Johnson and Johnson vaccines
- MASKS STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to protect vulnerable members of our congregation.
- Please honor other congregants concerns about the protection they feel they need!
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547 Mendocino Avenue
Santa Rosa, CA 95401
Phone: (707) 568-5381
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