|
PERSONAL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT
Over the next 7 months I’m so excited to be sharing with you my "Promise of 7". There are 7 promises each person can make to build a better life for themselves and those that depend on you. This month the first promise is
“Promise to be strong enough to forgive and forget”
Anyone who has suffered a grievous hurt in life or in business knows that when our inner world is badly disrupted, it’s difficult to concentrate on anything other than our turmoil or pain. When we hold on to hurt, we emotionally find ourselves out of balance.
Your ability to forgive to the level of being able to forget is strong medicine for this. When life hits us hard, there isn’t a better cure for how we feel then the ability to forgive. I wouldn’t have spent the last 30 years of my life studying human behavior if I were not convinced of this.
Many people have misconceptions about what forgiveness really means—and they may misinterpret it. Others may want to forgive but wonder whether or not they truly can. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily come easily; but it is possible for many of us to achieve, if we have the right tools and are willing to put in the effort.
I will outline steps that will help you understand why forgiveness is your best choice for a better lifestyle.
What is Forgiveness, and why is it so Important
Forgiveness is about goodness. Working on forgiveness can help us increase our self-esteem and give us a sense of inner strength and safety. It can reverse the lies that we often tell ourselves when someone has hurt us deeply—lies like, I’m defeated or I not strong enough. Forgiveness can heal us and allow us to move on in life with meaning and purpose. Your ability to understand the power of forgiveness matters, and you will be its primary beneficiary.
Studies have shown that forgiving others produces strong psychological benefits for the one who forgives. But we don’t just forgive to help ourselves. Forgiveness can lead to psychological healing, yes; but, in its essence, it’s not something about you or done for you. It is something you extend toward another person, because you recognize, over time, that it is the best response to the situation.
Address the Truth.
It’s important to figure out who has hurt you and how. This may seem obvious; but not every action that causes you suffering is unjust. For example, you don’t need to forgive others for being imperfect, even if their imperfections are inconvenient for you.
There are many forms of emotional stress; but the common forms are anxiety, depression, unhealthy anger, lack of trust, low self-esteem, and a lack of confidence in one’s ability to change. All of these harms can be addressed by forgiveness. This is why it’s so important to forgive.
Forgiveness Comes from Strength not Weakness.
Forgiveness is always hard when we are dealing with deep injustices from others. I have known people who refuse to use the word forgiveness because it just makes them angry. That’s OK—we all have our own timelines for when we are ready. But if you want to forgive and are finding it hard, it might help to call upon other resources.
First remember that if you are struggling with forgiveness, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure at it. It’s a process that takes time, patience, and determination.
Surround yourself with good and wise people who support you and who have the patience to allow you time needed. Also, practice humility—not in the sense of putting yourself down, but in realizing that we are all capable of imperfection and suffering.
If you are still finding it hard to forgive, you can choose to practice with someone who is easier to forgive
Forgive Yourself First.
How can you Forgive Others When you can’t Forgive Yourself.
Most of us tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on others and we struggle to love ourselves. If you are not feeling lovable because of actions you’ve taken, you may need to work on self-forgiveness and offer to yourself what you offer to others who have hurt you: a sense of inherent worth, despite your actions.
In self-forgiveness, you honor yourself as a person, even if you are imperfect. If you’ve broken your personal standards in a serious way, there is a danger of sliding into “self-punishment.” You need to recognize this and move toward self-compassion. Soften your heart toward yourself.
After you have been able to self-forgive, you will also need to engage in seeking forgiveness from others whom you’ve harmed and right the wrongs as best as you can. It’s important to be prepared for the possibility that the other person may not be ready to forgive you and to practice patience and humility. But, a sincere apology, free of conditions and expectations, will go a long way toward your receiving forgiveness in the end.
Leadership. Work-Life Balance
One of the biggest challenges over the last several decades has been the issue of work-life balance. The disruption caused by these past few years and the future challenges that technological convenience will bring continue to highlight this issue. The way work has been done is changing. Remote and hybrid workforces continue to grow and technology is rapidly advancing. More than ever before, it is important to have a selfless mindset regarding your people. As Tom Ziglar, a close friend out lined in his new book “10 Leadership Virtues for Disruptive Times”, it is clear that quality of life equals quality of work both at work and at home. A selfless mindset allows you to see the challenges facing each of your team members regarding their work-life balance.
The selfless approach means you fully understand the work-life balance needs of your team are more important than your perfect world as the leader.
Update.
It's this time of year that companies and associations are planning for the meeting/events for 2023. It would be my honor that you would consider having me be a part of your event with my new program that is being released in 2023. If you would like to see if I’m available for your dates, please email Raymond@bryandodge.com or call 972-780-7459 and my team would be so excited to hear from you. They will setup a one-on-one meeting for us to discuss what your goals are and if this new program will accelerate your goals. My goal when you ask me to be a part of your meetings or event is to create real growth that will last.
I’m so looking forward to talking with you, it’s one of my favorite conversations.
| 
