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Happy Sunday, Pride!
My wife and I came across a "Facebook Memory" earlier this week that made us pause and ask, "How do we make the time slow down?"
The video was of my two daughters when they were 3 and 5 and they were laughing and having a great time. There was something magical about that time frame. Now 12 and 14, it seems like time is flying.
As parents and teachers, the days seem so long but the years are so short. It feels like time accelerates even faster as we become older. How can we "slow down time" by making meaningful memories with our children? How can we not have regrets about how we spent the time with our children?
Put "It" on the Calendar
From soccer games to birthdays to lunch visits with our children, if these are not on our calendars, we will miss them. (We also need to block off time with our kids that is not structured or planned.) I believe time (not money) is really our most precious commodity and we definitely can't earn more of it. We only get one shot at life with our kids. By scheduling time with our children on our calendars, we make sure we don't forget them despite the busyness of life.
Routines and Habits Win the Day
Planning for special events is good. Daily, weekly and monthly time with our children is even better. It could be shooting hoops for fifteen minutes before supper each day. It could be reading a book before bedtime. It could be eating supper at the table at 6:30 each night. It could be a "Boys Night Out" each month with dad and sons. (Moms would love that!!) It could be a weekly Saturday breakfast at home or at a restaurant. It can also be one parent taking the kids to school or to practice and the other picking them up. Time in the car can be pretty special as well. The old adage says that "L-O-V-E is spelled T-I-M-E." Some of the most meaningful moments with our children happen when nothing is planned and we are simply doing the routines of life.
"Say No for Now and Yes to Later"
This may mean declining some worthwhile but time consuming opportunities in order to have the time to be there when our children need us most. Essentially, we may say "No" to good things in order to say "Yes" to better things. We do need some margin of time to care well for them and for ourselves while raising them. Saying "no for now" keeps us from burning our candle at both ends. There will come a time (after they leave home) when you can say "yes" to some of those things you turned down when they were little. It will happen.
Keep Everyone Together
While we were not always successful, we tried to attend as many events as possible as a family. Campbell attends Maggie's cross country meets. Maggie cheers on Campbell at her swim meets. We attend family gatherings and vacations together. There will be times and circumstances where this simply isn't possible, but it has set an expectation that we are together for big events in life. Those shared experiences yield shared stories and memories that last a lifetime.
I know it is not possible to make more time. Minutes and hours are limited and clearly defined. That requires us to prioritize well and make thoughtful decisions. When we do that well, the time with our children will be rich and meaningful and we will do all we can to slow it down.
In Strength and Blessings,
~Dr. Compton
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