Vol V, No 8 - August 15, 2023
FROM THE CREATIVE EDITOR
If you need to know one thing about me, it's that I'm a lifelong band geek, a proud nerd of the musical kind. I picked up a flute 41 years ago as an infant elementary student and never looked back. The very first time we all played together and the bass drum thrummed through my chest, my band geek self was born. While my life path has curved and parenting G2e sons has certainly hip-checked me into the brambles (and off the cliff and into the inferno) more than once, my flute and love of band have been constant. Being a part of a group that doesn't have bench-warmers, that is the very best form of peer pressure, that demands you try again and again and again so you can experience the sweet taste of hard-won success...it shaped me into who I am. It still shapes me; I play in a high-level wind ensemble and there's not enough space here for me to express how much it means to me that I still get to play after all these years. And it is play, because it's fun and I love it. I get to weave beauty from breath, what's not to love?

This month's featured article is by Gayle Bentley and how marching band is shaping her G2e son, just as it shapes thousands of kids a year. Band is where everyone is needed for everyone to succeed, and for kids who don't necessarily fit in it's a blessed haven. I experienced that as a student and I protected that as a band director. We Can Do Hard Things and Let Your Freak Flag Fly...within reason were the two main tenets of my band classes and they're excellent ones for life as well.

For those of you on the cusp of a new school year, may your laptops be charged and your pencils be sharpened (because a dull pencil is...pointless). For those of you already in the thick of it all, may your pencils and laptops be found and your patience be plentiful.

Support your local band, trust me. Lives are changing over there in the band room.

Catch you back here next month.
Jen Merrill is a writer, musician, teacher, ed-tech marketing advisor, and gifted-family advocate. The mom of two boys, she homeschooled her twice-exceptional teen through high school while happily sending his younger brother off to his high school every morning. Those days now in the past, she is settling into the somewhat quieter life of an empty-nester. Her book, If This is a Gift, Can I Send It Back?, struck a nerve with families; her second book, on the needs of gifted parents and self-care, will be finished shortly before the heat death of the universe. In addition to writing on her longtime blog, Laughing at Chaos, Jen has presented at SENG, NAGC, and WCGTC.

Jen brings both her acquired wisdom and her experience as a teacher and mentor to her work in the service of parents, teaching them techniques and mentoring them into their own versions of success. Her goal is to support parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids, because they are the ones doing the heavy lifting and are too often ignored, patronized, and discredited. It is her hope that her sons never have to deal with these issues when they raise their own likely gifted children.
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Supporting Your G/2e Child's Strengths
Grabbing the Bell by the Horn
By Gayle Bentley

“Mark-time-mark, and one.” My son executes the command easily, despite carrying a 30-pound sousaphone. (Yes, that’s the one with the big bell that encircles the player like a hug.) My 15-year-old 2e autistic son is standing on a football field, marching in the heat, focused on the drum major. This is the same kid who does not like to be thirsty, hot, hungry, or uncomfortable in any way. Yet, here he is, a valued member of an award-winning marching band. How did this happen?

Peer pressure can certainly be a bad thing, leading a naive child to experiment with alcohol or make other questionable choices. However, when used in a positive way, peer pressure can spur individual growth. My son is inherently very musical. (I am a music teacher, after all!) He does not enjoy practicing by himself, but he relishes rehearsing and performing with his peers. He wants to go to the football games and perform under the lights. He wants to ride the bus to the competitions on Saturdays. He wants to be part of the group that eats lunch on the stoop in front of the band room every day. It comes down to the fact that he is willing to do hard things because these are his people, and music is his passion.  

As my son awaited the beginning of his 8-hour-a-day band camp this summer, he considered other ways he benefits from being in the marching band. He wisely noted, “Just when I think I can’t march anymore, I do it anyway because everyone else is there too. I can take that feeling of accomplishment with me when I have to do other hard things in school.”
Gayle Bentley is a third-year doctoral student at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education and the mother of three neurodivergent sons. She has taught K-12 instrumental music in the public schools for 23 years. This fall, she will begin serving as the Academic Director at 2e4me Academy, a nonprofit learning academy for twice-exceptional students. She also recently founded The Bentley Center, a place of resources and support for parents of gifted and twice-exceptional children.
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