When teaching QPR (Questions, Persuade, Refer) Suicide Prevention training, we work to dispel myths about how to speak with someone who may be having suicidal thoughts. The following are from Gwash’s article:

Myth: If a person is determined to kill him/herself, nothing is going to stop them.

Fact: Most suicidal people do not want death; they want the pain to stop. And talking about that pain with someone may help.

Myth: People who contemplate suicide are people who were unwilling to seek help.

Fact: People often give warning signs when they’re thinking of suicide. They want help. Studies of suicide victims have shown that more than half had sought medical help in the six months prior to their deaths.

Myth: Talking about suicide may give someone the idea.

Fact: You don’t give suicidal person ideas by talking about suicide. The opposite is true: bringing up the subject of suicide and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Contributing to the Positive Approach to Teen Health site, Dionna Warren, writes, “Somewhere along the way, we decided that “it’s not ok to not be ok”. We decided that our mental state was a reflection of our character, as if experiencing depression and anxiety is an indication of our morals. If you haven’t heard it already today, your feelings matter. While there’s a difference between being impacted by your feelings and being controlled by them, they still matter.” Warren offers the following:

1.     Know that you are NOT alone. There are so many people who are in the same situation as you and trying to figure out the next steps as well, even if you don’t know them or aren’t aware of them.

2.     It’s OK to not be or feel ok. Many times there is shame attached to our feelings of anxiety or depression, and that’s because of the stigma associated with psychological needs. But, to be human is to be imperfect; and sometimes being ok with that is a big step when it comes to our mental health.

3.     Help is warranted, even if you don’t think your struggle is serious enough. I’ve heard it once said that “the worst thing that has ever happened to you is still the worst thing in your life, even when someone else’s worst thing seems more intense”. It’s ok to seek support when others have “suffered worse.”

4.     Don’t do it alone. Whether it is you who is struggling or you are a loved one supporting someone who is struggling, garnering the help of a professional is always in order. You can never be too careful.

5.     There’s nothing wrong with scheduling a professional check up. Just like you go to the doctor for a check up every now and then, a check up with a mental health professional is ok to put into practice, even when everything seems ok.

6.     Know the danger signs for suicidal ideation. Some of them include:  

• Talking about wanting to die and being a burden to others
• Feeling empty, hopeless, trapped, or having no reason to live
• Withdrawing from friends, saying goodbye, giving away important items, or making a will
• Making a plan or researching ways to die

If you are concerned about someone having suicidal ideation, call the 988 Suicide Hotline or text “HELLO” to 741741

Finally, do a self check up.  Mental health struggles come in many forms and they don’t look the same on everyone. Practicing good mental health requires some intentionality. Sometimes we need to take a break from social media, connect with friends or loved ones in person, go for a walk, see a movie or reassess a relationship that may not be healthy.