Finding a New Normal
Now that we are vaccinated and the CDC says we can travel again, the question is: Where? And why? The whole idea of travel for entertainment now feels absurd to me. Even a retreat feels risky. After all, we have been living in retreat mode for a long time – simpler, quieter, more isolated.
But recently, in a class that I’m taking at church, we were asked to make a mask of some being (other than human) at risk of extinction. Since I come from the Pacific Northwest, I took some tinfoil and made a mask that roughly suggested a salmon. When the class gathered on Zoom, I was surprised when tears told me I was on sacred ground – that the salmon I spoke for were suffering from overfishing and warmer seas.
That night, the net of my dreams dredged up a number of large and small losses, some due to the pandemic and some due to my own aging. I began to track those images and realized that finding a new normal begins with grief – something I don’t usually let myself feel.
Then I tried a silent retreat. This time our routines were different (spaced seating; meals outside on trays), but the land was ready to hold us. My heart began to stir around the theme of forgiveness. Gradually, I realized that I had been mad at God! There was something about walking slowly, waiting for sunrise, watching a heron, and responding with color in my journal that began to scour out a new space for wonder and possibility as I pondered forgiveness.
Last week, we made a cross-county trip back to Bellingham WA, where I grew up. My sister and a friend from our Guatemalan pilgrimages suggested the trip, and my heart said “yes” before my caution could say “no.” We visited special places and shared many stories. I came back full of feelings that have no language yet, but I know something has shifted – that a new normal is possible.
In his book, Without Oars, Wes Granberg-Michaelson defines pilgrimage as
“a journey with a holy purpose to a place of spiritual significance.” It will take some time for me to identify the spiritual significance of what has been left behind and what will be useful going forward, but the process has given me hope for a new normal and that is what I want to share with you on this retreat. Whether your pilgrimage is inward or outward, I think you will find the process useful.
Marjory Zoet Bankson
President of Faith@Work (Ret.)
