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Parshas Tzav- Harnessing One’s Emotions
For this year’s Parsha Lesson I will be focusing on a chinuch (parenting/ educational) lesson that can be derived from the Dvar Torah.
Background
In this week’s Parsha we read of the annointment (literally) of Aharon, the brother of Moshe, as the Kohen Gadol (High Priest) of the Jewish nation. For all time, the priests of the Jewish nation, the kohanim, would be the descendants of this great man. The office of the Kohen Gadol would be chosen from the ranks of the regular Kohanim.
The ceremony of officially consecrating Aharon and his descendants as Kohanim, involved anointing him with the holy oil which had been made by Moshe which was used to consecrate and designate the vessels of the Mishkan (Tabernacle). If this oil would be used improperly, the person who did so would be destined for ‘kares’, of the most severe and serious punishments.
When Moshe approached Aharon in order to anoint him with this oil, by way of Hashem’s command, Moshe himself was nervous. Moshe said- perhaps I will in some way not perform this act properly and I will be obligated ‘kares’!? Aharon too became frightened and said- perhaps I am unfit to be anointed for this position and therefore I will be using this oil improperly and be obligated ‘kares’!? Both Moshe and Aharon were nervous and frightened, until Hashem assured them that there was no concern and that ‘how good and beautiful it is the conduct of these two brothers together (Tehillim 133:2)!’
Question
Why were Moshe and Aharon concerned and afraid of violating anything with this oil? Hashem commanded them to do this!
Furthermore, isn’t this called being neurotic!? Why was Hashem, evidently, pleased with their ‘neurosis’ and why were they praised for this unreasonable fear?
Answer
There are a couple of ideas which are necessary to know to understand this properly. The first is to understand that Moshe and Aharon reached the highest possible levels of greatness and holiness of any human being, either before or after. Their level of greatness necessitated and deemed appropriate certain behaviors which would be completely inappropriate for almost anyone else.
The second, and an important rule about being a growing person in general, is that people do not grow in leaps and bounds. People grow and develop step by step. Taking leaps of growth are never appropriate. Steps of growth, but not leaps of growth, will lead to real growth and real change and will, over time, lead to a person growing a tremendous amount. Growth is very much like compound interest, only 1% a month seems like nothing, until you compound those gains and behold the tremendous improvement after years of consistent growth.
With this in mind, the mode of behavior which Moshe and Aharon exhibited in that particular instance was, according to the Ramchal in his book Mesillas Yesharim, the behavior of ‘fear of Hashem.’ On a basic level, this is a simple concept. But at the higher levels of greatness, fear of Hashem is a constant, incessant concern and fear that a person has, that their behavior is unfitting and not proper, when considering the greatness and awesomeness of Hashem. The Ramchal puts this mode of behavior as being the highest form of human behavior possible for man, and the way in which man continues to endlessly improve himself.
This is something which is beyond us and would be neurotic and unhelpful for us to adopt, but an important thing to study nonetheless. Why?
Because of the core lesson of this character trait. Even though, for such great people like Moshe and Aharon, such fear in this situation was really not warranted, rather, they had this fear because that is what inspired them to be constantly vigilant and on guard and to push for higher levels of perfection and greatness. Similarly for us, we need to tap into the tremendous power which lays in our emotions to spur us to greatness.
There are two different realities that exist within a person- the rational/ logical reality and the emotional reality. This disconnect between the two different realities of a person is often an impediment to their being able to grow and develop. However, a person can also use this to their advantage and as a tool for further growth.
If a person has a difficulty with a certain challenge, they can tap into their emotional reserves to ‘imagine’ that this challenge is THE ‘be all and end all’ of the purpose of their life, and thereby conquer this challenge with ease. Depending on the degree that a person ‘gets themselves fired up’ and focused in on a challenge, they will be able to overcome even much more difficult obstacles. A person will not, initially, have the emotional fortitude to keep up and maintain such a high level of emotional ‘fire’ to plow through their challenges, but like any other muscle or strength, emotional ‘fire’ is something that can be built up and developed.
Chinuch Lesson
So much of someone’s success or failure in life has to do with their emotional strength and fortitude. This emotional strength needs to first be developed to resist pulls in the various directions of the ‘winds’ of life and it can then be tapped into to help drive a person forward to success.
If we can provide the structure and order for our children, and those we lead, to develop their emotional fortitude in a sound way, we will be doing them a great service in their development as people. We must model for our children our own emotional strength in resisting being pulled into bad moods, destructive funks and other types of challenges, and show them how to navigate through them. Doing so will be crucial to their development and training in how to live life in a productive way.
If we can go further and develop within ourselves, and encourage in our children and those we lead, the ability to harness our ‘emotional reality’ in order to accomplish difficult things and ‘push through’, we will be further endowing those around us an invaluable strength and tool for success in life. People that can master their emotions and use them as a tool to accomplish in life will be far more successful and accomplished human beings.
When one reflects on this, it is no wonder that often success and accomplishment are ‘inheritances’ that are passed down from parents to children. When parents embody such favorable character traits and model them, in a close, personal and effective way- in the home, going about day to day life- to their children, it is no wonder that their children will then be much better prepared for life and primed for success.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful Shabbos!
Rabbi Eli Meir Kramer
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