NEED HELP CHANGING THE DANCE? What’s a Dance? It’s when we’re in conflict with a loved one and we get angry or frustrated and can’t seem to let go…even when we KNOW it’s going to end the same way as it always does. We feel unheard or unseen, and our emotions escalate. Does this sound like you, or anyone you know?    Especially these days, our limbic system wants to take over. It “hijacks” our otherwise reasonable Thinking Brain so we don’t think, we just lash out or withdraw (remember Fight or Flight?).    I get it. I’ve been there too. We know we need to change the dance, but how?  It's Easy as 1, 2, 3

1 - Ask yourself…What am I responsible for in this conflict? Can I accept just the smallest grain of accountability? Make yourself take a breath, stop and think before you react in the same old way. Need help? Recruit a friend or family member to gently signal you, touch your hand or catch your eye to say, “Let’s move into the Thinking Brain, shall we?” 2 - Meet their two eyes, face to face.  Don’t text, don’t email, don’t call. Zoom, Facetime or meet them in the kitchen. We ALL want to be seen. At our very core. We all want to truly and safely connect. Let them know you see them. You hear them. You respect their opinion. Even if you don’t agree with them.  3 - Now it’s time to use those three powerful words. You’ve taken a breath, you’ve let them know you see them, now it’s time to tell your person who is driving you crazy “Thank you for caring for me. I know that’s what this is about, and I love you.” Then, without adding any more words to the conversation, give them a hug and start a NEW conversation. Now….how do you like your new dance?

A Message from Susan:

Hello! Thanks for stopping in! I’m a Board-Certified Family Life Coach with a Master’s in Education. In addition to parent coaching, I have the joy of serving on the board of the Family Life Coaching Association and as Director of Family Ministry for my church. I’ve come alongside adults, children and teachers in building healthy relationships and managing “big feelings” for over 30 years, at home and in the classroom. I’m blessed with a husband of 38 years and two strong and beautiful grown daughters. Check out my website to learn more. Contact me here.

Check Out My Latest Article in Richmond Family Magazine, Processing Your Parenting Legacy: How Does Your Family Garden Grow?

PARENTS & TEACHERS:   If you’d like to work together on creating a calmer home or classroom with kids who are learning to manage their Big Feelings, while you do too, please contact me here or:

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