Most of us can picture a better version of ourselves, more successful, better liked, maybe a little leaner and some extra money to boot.

But once you know who you want to be, most people get stuck. How do you actually become that person?

 

Research suggests that behavior change comes down to two things:

1) Setting our environment up for success

2) Creating good habits (and replacing bad ones)

 

Let’s talk about setting up our environment.

I recently committed to cutting sugar out of my diet. In order to set myself up for success, I no longer keep sugar in my house. Instead, I keep fruit on-hand.


Here are other tips:

-        Instead of saying “don’t forget to take out the trash,” which is a negative, put the trash bag in your path on the way to the door. Put a Post-It Note on your bathroom mirror reminding you to meditate before bed.

-        Set your environment up for success. That includes the people you surround yourself with!

 

The second key to positive behavior change is building good habits.

Habitual actions like driving, dressing, doing your makeup and belly dancing often feel like they take no effort to do. That’s because you have a part of your brain nicknamed the “autopilot” that takes over when you’re engaged in one of these well-practiced habits. That’s the reason you can drive yourself across town and reach your destination practically without noticing how you got there!


You want to create habits like this in any area of your life you’re hoping to improve.


Here are tips from the science:

-       If you’ve got a busy life, add one thing at a time.

-       Also, just like with skiing, you want to start on the bunny slope, not the black diamond. That is, practice where it’s easy to do well first, before trying it in difficult situations.


Flossing might take you a week to go on autopilot. Other habits might take months. Especially complicated habits (like juggling penguins on a motorcycle while riding through flaming hoops) might take years!

 

When I was in my early twenties, I had many habits of thought and behavior that kept me stuck in cycles of PTSD and depression.

When I made a mistake, I’d beat myself up by saying “Oh, what a moron!” (That doesn’t do any good, believe me.) I gradually replaced that bad habit with a good one: I started thinking of alternative solutions to fix the mistake I’d just made.


The longer you do a habit, the more it becomes part of your personality. I went from being a negative person to eventually someone who is positive and inspiring. (At least that’s what people tell me!)

 

As you create habits to support your new behaviors, be persistent, be patient and make sure to celebrate as you go! Celebrating successes helps to reinforce that behavior much more quickly than just repetition alone. (And faster than self-critique!)

 

Becoming our best selves is a long journey (a lifetime!) and to get there takes many steps.


I want to challenge you to start a new habit today.

1.   Pick one simple behavior you want to form or change that will get you closer to your aspirational self.

2.   Decide how to set up an environment to support that behavior.

3.   Then decide what habit(s) to create and how you’ll practice those habits.


Hopefully, I’ll see you in the fruit section sometime soon!

 

happy woman.jpg

To learn more about recreating yourself check out these cool tips...


Stop the Blame Game. Whining to Wining—Priming Your Family for a Great Evening (and Deeper Connections)


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