FIVE RULES FOR EARLY RECOVERY
by Ken J., Maryville Alumnus
Wisdom: the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement; the quality of being wise.
For many of us, we attribute wisdom as being gained over time. While this is true on its surface, certain experiences through life are what allow us to grow. Through this growth comes wisdom. The life of an addict is not a particularly easy one, and I can speak firsthand on how the experiences throughout my addiction, both good and bad, have helped to shape the man that I am today. For me, it’s all a matter of perspective.
Many of the years that I was using drugs I chose to blame everyone and everything else; it was a victimhood mentality in every sense. The truth of the matter is that it was easier to point the finger than to put in the work to fix myself. It took a long time of the clean-relapse/clean-relapse shuffle for me to get honest with myself and admit the part that I played in my current situation, which is rebuilding in every area: workforce, school, relationships, spirituality, and self. One of my shortcomings that has always contributed to my self-sabotaging behavior has been my ego. Convincing myself (and others) that “I’m good, I don’t need any more help; I can do this alone” was a song that I sang for many years, only to get the same inevitable result of relapse.
As I approach nine months clean and sober again, I chose to reevaluate my recovery and change my approach. This time around, I wanted less focus on my past clean time or achievements and truly “get back to basics”. This time around, I have kept the process very simple and lived by these 5 rules for early recovery…
1. Wake Up Early: for many years I stayed up very late and slept most mornings away. The wisdom in this rule is to realize that the old saying “the early bird gets the worm” holds true. Establishing a morning routine and focusing on my daily tasks for each day has been instrumental in my recovery this year.
2. Say “Hello, Please, and Thank You”: for many of us, using drugs/alcohol leads to severe isolation. When I began this journey this time around, I quickly realized that my true social self was now awkward around people and lacking self-confidence. Simple greetings or phrases like saying “hello,” “please,” and “thank you” have allowed me to become slowly but surely social again, while helping me drift from the negative behaviors of the drug world and return to the normalcy of being polite, understanding, and friendly once again. The wisdom in this rule is knowing that putting ourselves out there for conversations with others is a fast way to networking, friendships, and restoring self-confidence.
3. Be Patient: as addicts, we “want what we want when we want it,” and this mentality has been the downfall of many people like myself. The wisdom in being patient is realizing that we are not the center of the universe. Taking my time, not getting ahead of myself, and trusting the process has allowed me to address a lot of the wreckage that my past relapse has caused. Remember, “the world does not revolve around us!”
4. Exercise: addiction always prevents us from our proper self-care. If you’re like me, you lose weight, have a horrible diet, and are not the cleanest individual during your drug/alcohol use. The wisdom is starting to exercise, take vitamins, eat better, and get a proper night’s rest each day is that it restores a routine and establishes a form of discipline in my life when I needed it most. This speeds up the process of overcoming detox and getting back to “normal.”
5. Be Honest: For some of us, lying was a full-time job and became almost second nature. From small white lies to extraordinarily elaborate tales, this is a behavior that brings only negativity. The wisdom here is realizing that being honest is the only way that we will feel spiritually whole, and that the trust that others have in us is paramount in our recovery. Burning bridges and hurting those who trust us will ultimately lead us back down that same destructive path.
Although I still have a lot of work to do, I know if I continue to follow these five simple rules, I will continue to grow and recover. At the end of the day, the main source of wisdom is realizing that I still need help, structure, routine, balance, and God.
