Helping vs Snitching
(from The Dam's newsletter of May 2024)
“Snitches get stitches”, “talkers end up in lockers”. The threat of social repercussions for “doing the right thing” is a big one in High School and learning what the line is between snitching and helping isn’t as easy as we think.
The access to recording devices and the many platforms to share digital images has created a sort of paparazzi culture where capturing the next viral video or image becomes more important than even helping someone in harm’s way. “Teens [like adults] seeking external validation become intoxicated by sensationalist engagement, sometimes sending compromising photos or comments” These pics and videos aren’t always visible to an adult audience. Rather they circulate in back channels, fake accounts and private chat rooms. Cyber-bullying, crossing boundaries in the hopes of being accepted, and the fear of being left out flourish in these secret spaces. Youth who act on their feeling of “this isn’t right. I should do something” are quickly ostracized and labelled a snitch. If youth do sum up the courage to reach out to a trusted adult for support, often their anonymity is paramount - “Don’t say it was me!”.
Standing up to your peer group can be daunting for all of us but it is especially difficult during the adolescence stage where the need for social inclusion is the strongest. How do we come alongside youth who face this pressure on a daily basis and support them in doing the “right thing” while keeping themselves and others safe?
Often staff are brought into this part of youth-world by accident because friendship is a part of mentorship at The Dam. We discover hidden chat rooms, message boards, fake accounts and current issues our youth face in casual conversation. Knowing how to stay curious without judgement, asking reflective questions, and challenging youth culture in this respect, is a bit of a balancing act. The depth of trust between mentor and youth, however, enables us to have these important conversations. We challenge our youth to be “True Rebels” speaking out against harmful aspects of what their own sub-culture dictates. We offer workshops on developing healthy relationships and developing a sense of self worth which can speak louder than peer pressure. Finally, we invest in youth leadership so peer-to-peer mentorship has an impact in these secret channels that even the most seasoned and trusted adult mentor may never be allowed in.
Being a youth these days is tough. Your support makes it possible for us to walk alongside youth to make it less tough.
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