Fully Engaged July 2022
Quarterly Newsletter
(320) 258-7611 www.getfullyengaged.com
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Fully Engaged Website Updates |
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As we move forward with the new website, we are "tweaking" certain functions and verbiage. The feedback we have received from both you and your couples has been most valuable.
There are many more enhancements we are working on to make the site better and easier to maneuver. Our priority has been the printout, fixing a few items and adding the Comparison Percentages (see below).
If you have any ideas or feedback for us, please send us and email or call us.
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Summer Hours
June 27 to August 12
Monday - Thursday 7:30 am to 3:30 pm
Closed Fridays
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Back by popular demand, the Comparison Percentages |
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The Comparison percentages that match up the engaged couple's responses compared to the preferred answer is now available in English (Spanish will take us another week). While the percentage of agreement is indicated, this is only a tool to give you an overview of how much the couple agreed with each other and the preferred answer.
Next week, we will be adding a Summary of the inventory to the percentages. It will be located at the top of the list. This is an overview comparing ALL the statements on the inventory and the couple's agreement with the preferred answer. This is different from the old system where we only compared the Priority Statements. This new comparison gives a more accurate picture of how the couple responded.
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World Meeting of Families - Rome |
Below are excerpts from Pope Francis' address as he opened the World Meeting of Families on June 22.
“Marriage is not a formality to be fulfilled. You don’t get married to be Catholic ‘with the label,’ to obey a rule, or because the Church says so, or to throw a party,...You get married, because you want to base your marriage on the love of Christ, which is as firm as a rock.
“We can say that when a man and a woman fall in love, God offers them a gift: marriage. A wonderful gift, which has in it the power of divine love: strong, enduring, faithful, able to recover after any failure or fragility.
“In marriage Christ gives himself to you, so that you have the strength to give yourselves to each other.
“Take courage, then, family life is not an impossible mission. With the grace of the sacrament, God makes it a wonderful journey to be taken together with him, never alone.
“Family is not a beautiful ideal, unattainable in reality. God guarantees his presence in marriage and family, not only on your wedding day but throughout your life. And he sustains you every day in your journey.”
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Pope: ‘Church must walk closely
with couples toward marriage’
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June 16, 2022
Pope Francis pens the preface for guidelines to create “Catechumenal Itineraries for Married Life”, and urges the Church to help better prepare future spouses for marriage so as to avoid the suffering caused by broken families. (Scattered throughout the Newsletter are quotes from the document.)
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New Facilitator Guide Pages - English & Spanish |
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We have revised the Facilitator Guides to correct page numbers that were inaccurate due to revisions in the Coupe's Workbook, but also to provide additional insights.
The revisions include:
- Added: "Facilitator Notes" for each section offering homework ideas and tips
- Added: Information on addressing the Chastity and Difficult Times Pledges
- Added: New pages on addressing the three intentions in the Sacrament of Marriage section
- Added: Homework ideas for many statements
- Added: Up-to-date references and resources to aid discussion or homework
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Revised: Page numbers coordinating with the Couple's Workbook using both the newest edition and older versions. For example: “Ask the couple to refer to their answers to Reflection Question #3 on page 9 (#4 on page 8) in the Couple’s Workbook.” The first page number is for the newer versions, the one in parenthesis is for older versions.
The cost for replacement pages for the English Premarital Facilitators Guide in English is $15 per set / Bilingual is $20 per set plus shipping and handling. The new pages are an enhancement. The older version will work OK, understanding that the Couple's Workbook pages cited in the Facilitators Guide may be a page or two off.
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Resending the Welcome Link to your Couples |
- If you wish to resend the Welcome email to the Engaged Couple in the new system, from your dashboard, click on the Couple ID you wish to work with.
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Click on the person’s email address (not the Edit button) you wish to resend the Welcome Email.
- Next, click on “Resend Welcome Email”
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Importance of Prayer with the Engaged |
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With the hundreds of couples Rich and I have worked with over our 40+ years of marriage ministry, I can count on one hand how many of our couples who were comfortable with praying together, let alone engaged in an active prayer life.
As Mentor Couples, helping engaged couples develop practical ways to make prayer a part of their everyday lives is a large part of our ministry. Here are few practical ideas to encourage prayer:
- Begin and end each session with prayer, inviting the Holy Spirit to be part of the discussions and conversations is a good way to illustrate the ease and importance of prayer.
- Invite your couple to lead prayer at one of your sessions. When assigning homework, assign them to lead prayer at the next meeting to give them the opportunity to prepare in a meaningful way.
- Share with your couple how you prepare for your sessions with them, including how important it is to you to invite the Holy Spirit to bring you wisdom, loving discernment and His grace for the ministry.
- Also share with your couple the way you have learned to prayer together s a couple, and as a family. Include examples of the devotions that bring you closer to Christ. You may share how they can together:
- Attend Mass.
- Pray a daily rosary or the Divine Office. If they are not familiar with the "How to's," provide them with links or resources they can find out.
- Spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament as a couple.
- Pray as a family at meals, before bed and significant times they may need special intentions. Remind them this not always, "Please help me" but "Thank yous."
- Pray in small Christian communities in your parish. If you know of those groups in your parish, offer them the contact persons email or phone number.
- Offer to your couple special prayer cards, booklets, etc. for to use.
- Rich and I give our couple a small palm cross at our first meeting and show them how we have used this in communicating in a more peaceful way. We share how we use the cross each night as we say our nighttime prayers together. Our palm cross is very worn from rubbing it when times have been hard and deeper in color from the oils in our hands. I usually have to retrieve that cross each morning from between ur sheets as I make the bed.
- If the couple is interested in learning to pray the rosary, we give the couple a CD on how to prayer the rosary and 2 rosaries to get them started.
- Our usual wedding gift to our couple is a crucifix for their home, a constant reminder of how Jesus loves us and will never forsake us. None of these gifts are expensive, but we have found that the couples see these as "tools" to bring their prayer life to a more intentional place in their lives.
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On page 13 in the Couple's Workbook (Catholic Identity Section) are ten more ideas.
What is offered here are ways we have grown in our prayer life. You will have other beautiful ways you have developed your own lives in Christ. Please share your experiences. Remember, if we do not lead by example, how can we expect a change in the lives of your couples?
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New Addition to the
Web Page
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Many of you have requested that the prayers at the beginning of each section be made available to printout so you can pray the prepared prayer together with your engaged couple.
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In need of Mentor Couple that speaks Punjabi
A parish using the Fully Engaged Program has a couple where the bride speaks English and the groom speaks little English and his primary language in Punjabi. If you would be able to assist this couple, please contact Chris or Jill at ccodden@gw.stcdio.org or jill.svihel@gw.stcdio.org or (320) 258-7611. Thank you for your consideration.
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When placing an order: please double check the shipping address in your profile. Thank you. |
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“The marriage catechumenate is not preparation for passing an exam but for living a life,” it said, adding that the challenge
can be greater in countries where many,
or even most, couples live together before marriage."
From Catechumenal Itineraries for Married Life, The Dicastery for Laity, the Family and Life
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If you choose Fully Engaged to mail out your Couple's Workbooks, the 3 Supplements (Catholic Identity, Finance and Infertility & Adoption) are included in each package. |
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The preparation should include encouraging couples
to observe “premarital chastity” so that rather than
“becoming fixed on the physical instrumentalization of the other,”
they focus on dialogue and getting to know each other better, it said. “Even in the case of cohabiting couples,
it is never useless to speak of the virtue of chastity.
This virtue teaches every baptized person, in every condition of life,
the right use of one’s sexuality.”
From Catechumenal Itineraries for Married Life, The Dicastery for Laity, the Family and Life
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Fully Engaged for Convalidation
This specialized inventory is:
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Meant for couples who have been civilly married for a few years or more.
- Content is similar, but has:
- More emphasis on the difference between civil marriage as a contract and a sacramental marriage which is a covenant.
- More extensive items on Catholic Parenting, since many of the couples seeking a convalidation already have children.
- Uses language of “spouse” or “husband/wife” instead of “fiancé” or “future spouse”, acknowledging their lived experience.
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The cost is the same as the Fully Engaged Premarital Inventory, scoring and Couple’s Workbooks. All the same scoring options are available as with Fully Engaged. The additional Facilitator’s Guide pages and tabs are $12 per set for English, $17 for Bilingual.
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Fully Engaged Training Opportunities
for New Mentor Couples
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Fully Engaged Pre-Marital & Convalidation Inventories are offering New Facilitator Webinar Trainings via Zoom. The following options are available:
English
- Saturday, August 13, 2022 – 10 am to 4 pm EDT
- Saturday, October 1, 2022 – 10 am to 4 pm EDT
- Saturday, December 3, 2022 – 10 am to 4 pm EST
Español
- Sábado 10 de septiembre de 10 am a 4 pm EDT
- Sábado, 12 de noviembre de 2022 de 10 am a 4 pm EST
The cost for the webinar is $25 per couple which includes the couple taking the pre-marital inventory and receiving the results. Each couple will need a Pre-Marital Preview Package which is $45 plus shipping and handling. To register, click here (español) or contact Jill at (320) 258-7611 or jill.svihel@gw.stcdio.org. Please register at least 10 days prior to the class.
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- “Couples, Awaken Your Love!” by Cardinal Robert Sarah. Ignatius Press (San Francisco, 2021). 138 pp., $15.95.
- “The Catholic Wedding Planner,” by Our Sunday Visitor. Our Sunday Visitor (Huntington, Indiana, 2021). 256 pp., $29.95.
- “A Lifetime of Love: A Game Plan for Marriage and Family Life” by Lou Holtz. Ave Maria Press (Notre Dame, Indiana, 2022). 128 pp., $13.95.
- “Intercultural Marriage: A Pastoral Guide to the Sacrament” by Simon C. Kim and Ricky Manalo. Paulist Press (Mahwah, New Jersey, 2022). 120 pp., $19.95.
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Thank you for your commitment to forming couples for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. |
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Chris Codden – Director, Fully Engaged
320-250-9778
Jill Svihel – Coordinator, Fully Engaged
320-258-7611
Dawn Gohmann—Clerical Support, Fully Engaged
(320) 258-7617
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