NAASCA
: Where were you born?
Carol
: I was born in Pearl River, NY
NAASCA
: What kind of family did you have?
Carol
: I was born into a very wealthy, but dangerous family. The men were all alcoholics. I witnessed a lot of Domestic Violence at age 4 between my mother and father. Knives were thrown at my mother by my father. She was beaten almost every night and went to work the next day with black eyes and bruising.
NAASCA
: How did you know this?
Carol
: I stood in the hallway and watched as my older brother stayed upstairs under the covers. He feared he would be hit.
NAASCA
: Were the police ever called?
Carol
: Yes, one time. I am not sure who called them. They came to the house and questioned both of my parents. They saw my mother’s face which was bloodied—and told my father to leave immediately. They asked my mother if we had a place to go, and she replied, “No.” They asked if she needed to go to the hospital, and she said “no.”
NAASCA
: Did your father come back?
Carol
: Yes, two days later. He was better acting for about 3 days and it all started in again.
NAASCA
: How did you feel about your father and his violence towards your mother?
Carol
: I was terrified of him and felt no love. My brother and I feared for our lives.
NAASCA
: How long did this go on?
Carol
: By the time I was 6, I knew my father was going to try and kill my mother in the kitchen. He was about to hit her in the head with a heavy black iron frying pan—and I screamed, “No, Daddy, No!” For the first time they realized they were being watched. They broke up after that and I was placed in the house of a pedophile uncle and a very cold and uncaring aunt. I was soon to realize that I was a business deal for them. My mother paid for my so-called care. My brother was placed with my mother’s parents who did not charge her.
NAASCA
: What did your uncle do to you?
Carol
: He sexually abused me, almost daily. He told me he would kill me if I told about his actions. I believed him. I know he killed my Aunt’s bird. He poisoned it.
NAASCA
: How long were you being abused and did you tell anyone?
Carol
: From age 6-7½. I told another aunt who came to visit, because I trusted her. I was skinny, my hair was falling out in patches, dirty, and I ate dog biscuits when my parents were sleeping to fill my stomach up. I was removed from that house of horrors to another home. The police were never called. He suffered no consequences for his actions.
NAASCA
: How long did you stay at the next house?
Carol
: Not that long—My mother remarried after she got her divorce.
NAASCA
: Were you then happy?
Carol
: No-- We moved to Staten Island, NY. I was kidnapped and raped along with 13 other 8-year-old girls. The pedophile was caught, but only received 3 years imprisonment. By age 9, I developed panic attacks, which lasted until I was 49 years old.
NAASCA
: What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?
Carol
: Not good. She always treated me as though I was a stranger. She told me once that we would never be friends. She meant it.
NAASCA
: How was your relationship with your brother?
Carol
: He, too, became one of my abusers. I told my mother and she did nothing.
NAASCA
: How did the abuse affect your life?
Carol
: I became a juvenile delinquent at an early age. Started to drink to help me with my panic attacks—self medicated. I became suicidal.
NAASCA
: How did you do in school?
Carol
: Sometimes well, but mostly I hated school because of my panic attacks and lack of proper clothing. I was bullied a lot, so I became so tough that I scared my bullies away. I started to steal my clothing, but did get caught.
NAASCA
: Did you ever go to detention center because of your behavior?
Carol
: No—I told the security officers what had happened, and they gave me two days to pay the store, or they would call the police and my mother.
NAASCA
: Did you get the money that was needed?
Carol
: Yes, a friend of my brother’s gave it to me and drove me to the store. They let me keep the clothing.
NAASCA
: Did you have any friends?
Carol
: Yes--- We all came from dysfunctional families, but we cared for each other. I am still friendly with one of my teenage friends to this day.
NAASCA
: Did you get married?
Carol
: Yes, we had two children, and I feel blessed for them. However, the marriage failed. He, too, was an alcoholic like my father. I am one also but stopped drinking many years ago. He did not, so I left. I remarried, and this marriage failed as well. We did not divorce, and he has since passed away. We had some good years out of 37 years.
NAASCA
: What are you doing today?
Carol
: I became interested in working with at-risk children . I was part of the Rahway Lifers Program for several years. That was volunteer. I then worked for a Detention Center as an officer. Then in Detox as a counselor at Greystone Psychiatric, a state-run facility. After a lot of schooling, I became a state-certified technician and finally became a counselor at a methadone clinic. All the county and state jobs sent me to school.
Today I have retired from social services; I volunteer my time at NAASCA and am Vice President and a podcast Host. I also work with the homeless in New York City with a church group who have a service called “The Midnight Run.”
NAASCA
: Are you happy today?
Carol
: Yes, I come and go as I please, and concentrate on working with those people in need. I also give presentations when asked, using mostly NAASCA material. I always speak about child abuse, as I do not want children to go through what I did, mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally, or be neglected. My hope is to put a dent in the statistics of child abuse through educating the public about child abuse, and how it affects us as a society.
NAASCA:
Thank you, Carol, for this comprehensive interview.
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NAASCA’s "Stop Child Abuse Now" (SCAN) shows are broadcast live 5 nights a week, Monday through Friday, LIVE at 8pm EST (so 5pm PST) for 90 minutes, at this link:
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/NAASCA
The dedicated call-in number is: 646-595-2118
