Henry David Thoreau once said, “It’s not what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.” This simple thought has helped me as I continue to strive to be more aware of my split-second assumptions.
A few years ago I noticed I would struggle at times to see the positives in many situations and I could see the impact of that on my activities of daily living. Thoreau’s words helped me to find an avenue to make some changes. I began to monitor my thoughts and when I noticed I had been pretty negative throughout the day, I would challenge myself to come up with three positive things. I began to notice when I regularly looked for something positive I could see more positive things in a day!
I also had to challenge myself to push through to the positive thoughts. When I was stuck on a negative thought I stopped and really looked at it. Doing so forced me to acknowledge that many of those negative thoughts stemmed from me; the situation made me feel vulnerable, uncomfortable, or maybe I was just plain wrong. By taking the time to sit with those negative thoughts for a while I was able to “see” new ideas or a different perspective.
Finally, I challenged myself to remember how it feels when someone makes a split-second assumption about me when they haven’t taken the time to get to know me. Many of us have felt this type of quick judgement at one time or another. We wish we could say, “wait, get to know me before assuming you know who I am because you read a one-sentence post on social media, received a quick email from me, or overheard me talking at the grocery store!.” We are all so much more than anything that could be shared in a post, in an email, or passing by one another at the store. Which is why remembering how I feel when I experience someone making what I think is a split-second judgement about me, helps me to become more aware of my own thinking so I stay out of the “judgement zone” and give others the benefit of the doubt, in hopes that they will do the same for me.
Michele Hamilton
Coordinator of Student Family and Community Services
